You can read ahead on Patreon
Eldritch Horror? No, I'm A Doctor
Read up to 10-12 chapters ahead
Access exclusive character portraits
Q&A
Dimensional Librarian Available now on Patron!!!
Your support means the world to me and will help me keep creating this story. If you enjoy the ride so far, please consider joining every bit of support helps! ❤️
Link
https://patreon.com/Thanarit?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink
"Ehhh, hello?"
Klaus Werner's voice came out quieter than he'd intended. The plague doctor was still sitting there, feet propped up, reading papers like Klaus didn't exist.
He cleared his throat and tried again. "Hello? I need help with something."
The plague doctor's head snapped up. Those glass eyepieces focused on him.
"Ah, sorry. Didn't see you there." The voice was muffled by the mask but sounded almost cheerful. "I didn't hear the bell chime. How can you be so quiet? It's like you're a ghost."
I could say the same about you, Klaus thought but didn't say. Instead, he watched as the plague doctor stood up and started walking toward him.
Each footstep was deliberate. The black coat swirled slightly with the movement. Klaus's monster instincts were screaming at him to run, but his human conditioning kept him rooted in place.
"Sorry," Klaus said, taking a step back. "The door was open, so I just barged in."
"Yeah, yeah, sure." The plague doctor waved a gloved hand. "So what's your symptom? You're here for healing, right? Or is it for the grafting process?"
Grafting process? Klaus's brain hiccupped on the phrase. What the fuck is grafting? Is it some kind of plastic surgery?
"No, no," Klaus said quickly, pulling out the crumpled letter from his pocket. "I'm just here for a physical examination. For my driver's license, you know? I need a certificate saying I'm healthy enough to drive."
The plague doctor tilted his head at an angle that was just slightly off. "Sure."
There was a pause that lasted just long enough to be uncomfortable.
"Wait a bit. Go into the examining room." The doctor pointed down a hallway. "Second door on the left."
"Okay." Klaus walked in the direction indicated, his boots squeaking on the floor with every step.
He found the examining room and sat down on the table, the paper crinkling beneath him. The room looked normal enough. Too normal, actually. Which somehow made it more unsettling.
Why does this feel like the calm before a storm?
.
.
.
Ren stood alone in the reception area, staring at the door Klaus had just walked through.
Fuck. How do I give out a report to the government? This place isn't even registered under the Healing Association.
He pulled out his phone and stared at it for a moment. Then he remembered something. Levi had mentioned that if he ever needed help with official matters, there was someone he could call.
Ah, Mr. Levi said to call them. Maybe they can help.
Ren scrolled through his contacts until he found the number Levi had given him. He pressed dial.
The phone rang twice before someone picked up.
"Earnest speaking." The voice was stern, clipped, professional. The kind of voice that belonged to someone who dealt with serious business and didn't have time for nonsense.
"Hello, this is Ren Hector. Mr. Levi told me to call you if I needed anything."
The change was immediate and dramatic.
"Oh! Mr. Hector!" The stern voice transformed completely, becoming warm and almost deferential. "Of course, of course. How can I assist you? Anything you need, just name it."
Ren blinked behind his mask. The one-eighty was so extreme it was almost comical.
"Ahh, the situation is like this. I have a patient who needs a physical examination certificate for his driver's license renewal, but my clinic isn't registered with the Healing Association yet. I'm not sure how to issue an official document that the government will accept."
"I see, I see." The sound of someone taking notes came through the phone. "That's no problem at all. What's the name of your clinic?"
"Hector Clinic."
"Perfect. And your location?"
Ren gave him the address.
"Excellent. Here's what I'll do," Earnest said, his tone becoming all business again but friendly business. "I'll get you registered with the Healing Association immediately. Emergency registration, backdated to cover any previous procedures if needed. It'll be processed within the hour."
"That fast?" Ren couldn't hide his surprise.
"Mr. Levi's friends receive priority treatment," Earnest replied simply, as if that explained everything. And maybe it did. "Now, for the certificate. When you're done with the examination, just give me the patient's identification card number. I'll handle all the paperwork on my end and have the official certificate sent directly to the patient's registered address within twenty-four hours."
"That's very helpful. Thank you." Ren glanced toward the hallway where Klaus was waiting. "How much do I owe you for this service?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Mr. Levi saved my life multiple times," Earnest said, his voice carrying genuine gratitude. "Once during the Crimson Gate incident in the northern territories. Twice during the purge of the Corrupt Merchant's Guild. This is the least I can do to help his friend."
Ren felt something shift in his understanding of Levi. The man had connections. Real connections. The kind that could cut through bureaucratic red tape like it was made of tissue paper.
"Thank you," Ren said sincerely.
"No problem at all, Mr. Hector. Just call me if you need anything else. Healing Association registration, business permits, medical supply imports, whatever you need. Consider me at your service."
"I appreciate it."
"One more thing," Earnest added. "If anyone from the Bureau gives you trouble, mention my name. Earnest Vale, Department of Special Medical Affairs. They'll back off."
The call ended.
Ren stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened. He'd gone from having an unregistered illegal clinic to having official backing from someone in the government's Special Medical Affairs department.
All because of Mr. Levi.
Well then. Now let's get to the examination, shall we?
He grabbed his medical bag and headed down the hallway.
.
.
.
Klaus was still sitting on the examination table when the door opened.
"Okay, let's begin the examination."
Klaus looked up to see the plague doctor standing in the doorway, now holding a medical bag. The mask's beak caught the light, making the whole ensemble look even more unsettling than before.
"Wait, before that," Klaus said quickly, raising his hands in what he hoped was a placating gesture. "You don't have to examine me for real. I just need you to sign the form saying I'm healthy. I can pay extra. Whatever you want. I just need the certificate, not an actual examination, so if you could just sign here and we can both pretend this happened and—"
His words got cut off.
Because he felt the needle stick into his throat.
Sharp. Precise. Professional.
And then he couldn't move.
His body locked up completely. Not paralyzed exactly, but frozen. Like someone had hit the pause button on his entire nervous system. He could still see, still hear, still feel. But he couldn't move a single muscle. Not even to blink.
What the fuck is this?!
"Oh, this is anesthetic," the plague doctor said casually, like he was discussing the weather. "Awakening Anesthesia, specifically. Keeps you conscious but paralyzed. Very useful for examinations where patient cooperation isn't guaranteed."
Who the fuck does a physical examination with anesthetic?! That's not standard procedure! That's not even legal procedure!
"Me, obviously," the doctor replied.
Can he read minds?!
"No, I just guessed what you were thinking. Your face is very expressive. Well, it was before the anesthetic froze it."
Klaus would have screamed if he could move his mouth.
"Wait, you don't have to examine me for real, I can just pay you to sign the form without actually looking at anything, seriously, I have money, just please don't—" Klaus managed to force out before his fear locked up his throat completely. "Uggh."
"Too late for negotiations," the plague doctor said cheerfully. "Should have led with the bribe. That's negotiation 101."
The plague doctor pulled off one of his gloves.
And Klaus saw what was underneath.
The hand was pale, the fingers slightly too long, the joints bending at angles that weren't quite right. And in the center of the palm was a mouth.
Not just any mouth. A circular opening ringed with small, sharp teeth. Like a lamprey's maw. It pulsed slightly, opening and closing like it was breathing independently from the rest of the body.
What the actual—
Before Klaus could process what he was seeing, the doctor shoved that palm straight into Klaus's mouth.
The sensation was immediate and violating. The mouth-hand pressed against the inside of his cheek, against his tongue, probing with predatory curiosity. Klaus tried to gag, tried to bite down, but the anesthetic kept him completely still. He could only endure as the thing explored the inside of his mouth like it was conducting a very intimate inspection.
And then he felt it.
The doctor's hand tasted him.
Not just the inside of his mouth. Deeper than that. It was reading his biology, analyzing his composition, cataloging every abnormality. Every detail that made him not-quite-human.
The seawater blood.
The coral bones.
The jellyfish heart.
All of it. Every secret. Every hidden truth.
Oh no. Oh fuck. Oh no no no no—
Ren stood there, his palm-mouth pressed against the inside of Klaus's cheek, and froze.
This isn't human blood.
The taste was unusual. Very unusual. Salt and minerals and organic compounds that shouldn't exist in a mammalian circulatory system. The cellular structure was marine, like something that belonged in the ocean, not walking around on land pretending to work in a textile factory. The oxygen-carrying mechanism was based on hemocyanin instead of hemoglobin.
This is a monster.
Not just any monster. A high rank Monster A at least, if Ren's knowledge of monster taxonomy was correct. This hasto be some kind of Mimic. A species known for consuming humans and taking their identities. The kind that could pass for human so perfectly that even other hunters had trouble detecting them.
The kind that usually got killed on sight if the Hunter Bureau found them.
Fuck.
I just drugged and orally violated a monster who's been living as a human.
This is going to be awkward to explain.
Ren slowly pulled his hand out of Klaus's mouth. The palm-mouth closed, the teeth retracting back into what looked like normal skin. He stared at Klaus, who stared back with wide eyes that were now filled with a mixture of terror, resignation, and something that might have been embarrassment.
Klaus, for his part, was having his own crisis.
The hand had a mouth.
A fucking mouth in the palm.
That's not human.
That's not even remotely human.
That's some eldritch horror bullshit.
For fuck's sake.
I walked into a monster's clinic.
That's why everything felt off.
That's why it smelled like the ocean.
I'm not the only one pretending to be human.
Oh god, what if he reports me to the Bureau?
What if he eats me?
What if he does something worse than eating me?
Why did I think this was a good idea?
Why didn't I just risk the hospital?
Noodle is going to be so disappointed in me.
They stared at each other.
Ren, still holding his glove in one hand, palm-mouth visible for anyone to see.
Klaus, paralyzed on the examination table, seawater blood probably still coating the inside of his mouth where Ren had tasted it.
The silence stretched on. And on. And on.
The examination room suddenly felt very small. The air conditioning hummed. Somewhere outside, a car drove past.
Neither of them moved.
Neither of them spoke.
They just stared at each other, two monsters who'd been pretending to be human, now caught with their disguises down.
And then, at exactly the same moment, they both made the same sound.
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
The synchronization would have been funny under different circumstances. But right now, in this moment, it was just the sound of mutual recognition.
This guy
Is not human
Now what?