"Coaching from when I was a kid?"
Kitahara looked puzzled at Rudolf's question.
What was there to talk about? It had been nothing more than a downgraded version of being a Trainer. He couldn't stay by an Umamusume's side at all times—he could only analyze the limited data he was given, make deductions, and draft training plans accordingly…
To him, it wasn't much of a story.
Still, since Rudolf had brought it up, he couldn't very well brush it off. After a moment's thought, he decided to give her a brief account. Once he ran out of things to say, she'd naturally change the subject.
"Back then…"
Leaning back into his chair, fingers interlaced over his abdomen, Kitahara slowly began to recall.
...
It was Symboli Speed who first proposed it.
After noticing Kitahara's startling talent for identifying issues in Umamusume—and with Rudolf in the middle of her rebellious phase—Symboli Speed, half amused, half curious, suggested that Kitahara take charge of Rudolf's guidance.
They were close in age. He had no ties to the Symboli family. Perhaps Rudolf would accept him.
That had been Symboli Speed's thinking. Unfortunately, before she could even test Rudolf's reaction, Kitahara had flatly refused.
His reasons were simple. One, as Symboli Speed had guessed, he didn't want unnecessary trouble. Two, he didn't believe he was qualified to be a Trainer.
He'd helped quite a few Umamusume by then, yes—but he'd never formally served as a Trainer, never undergone professional training, never even systematically studied the field. By any measure, he wasn't fit for the role.
Still, the senior Umamusume had shown him considerable kindness. Even if he couldn't shoulder full Trainer responsibilities, offering off-site advice and guidance seemed within his ability.
So he volunteered to help in that capacity.
And that was how it began.
Though he'd never properly studied Trainer work before, he didn't want to give careless advice that would do more harm than good. If he was going to help that child, it had to be real help.
From that point on, he began seriously studying Trainer theory.
Since he was essentially doing unpaid work for the Symboli family—and because she was curious to see how far he could go—Symboli Speed took it upon herself to supply him with materials. Every time she visited, she'd bring books and documents.
It was his first time acting as a Trainer, and he was genuinely interested in the field. He studied diligently, improving at a remarkable pace.
But no matter how fast one grows, growth still takes time.
"In the beginning, I didn't understand anything. I studied hard and put together a training proposal to the best of my ability at the time, but…"
Even now, remembering that first proposal made him flush slightly.
"I knew it probably wouldn't be well received. But I didn't expect that the very next day, the senior who passed it along would tell me the kid tore it up."
Tore it up…
Rudolf's gaze drifted away awkwardly.
She remembered.
She couldn't recall the exact contents anymore—it had been too long—but she clearly remembered receiving that first proposal from Symboli Speed. She'd thought it was a deliberate provocation.
So she'd torn it up right in front of her.
At the time, it had felt satisfying. Cathartic.
Now…
Before she could sink too far into the memory, Kitahara continued.
"When I heard that, I was pretty down for a while. I knew the proposal wasn't great, but I'd worked seriously on it. Hearing it was torn up still stung."
"But you know me—if there's one thing I've got going for me, it's my mentality. I didn't mope for long. I went right back to studying, researching, and drafted a second plan."
"This time it went better. According to that senior, the kid didn't look too pleased when she received it—but at least she didn't rip it up again."
That part was true too.
As Kitahara spoke, recollection flickered in Rudolf's eyes.
The second proposal had been on a completely different level from the first—and it had only been half a month later. She hadn't even considered that both drafts came from the same person.
It couldn't be.
The quality jump had been too drastic.
While it still couldn't compare to a fully customized plan from a Trainer constantly at her side, it contained many of Kitahara's own insights—ideas sharp and worth noting. She hadn't followed it verbatim, but she had incorporated quite a few of its suggestions into her later training.
After that, perhaps out of growing interest—or perhaps because Kitahara genuinely had time on his hands—he threw himself into studying Trainer knowledge with startling intensity. Every few days, he would send another proposal, each one leaping at least an order of magnitude beyond the last.
At the time, Rudolf had just left the Symboli family but still retained certain connections. She'd heard rumors that Symboli Speed was assembling a Trainer team behind the scenes to oversee her guidance.
Combined with Kitahara's prolific output and inhuman rate of improvement, she'd naturally concluded that these proposals came from that supposed team.
Once she locked onto that belief, her behavior followed.
Partly rebellion. Partly a desire to irritate Symboli Speed.
During that period, she had gone out of her way to make things difficult for the "team" she imagined stood behind the drafts.
"Back then, I wasn't sure, but I had the feeling the kid was deliberately targeting me," Kitahara said.
"Besides regular training matters, the reply letters started including a pile of bizarre, difficult questions—issues even seasoned Trainers might struggle to solve."
"Fortunately, I'd already traveled widely and accumulated a fair amount of knowledge about Umamusume. It didn't help much with structured training—but it was perfect for handling those kinds of problems."
"…That child really was rather immature."
At the time, she'd thought nothing of it. She believed she was challenging Symboli Speed's hired team.
But now…
Back then, Kitahara's life had been difficult. He'd been running around daily just to find food for Eclipse—while also providing her with guidance free of charge.
And instead of gratitude, she'd responded by making things harder.
Yet to her surprise, Kitahara shook his head.
"It's not about being immature. She didn't know my situation. And judging by the timeline… she was probably around Teio's current age. Maybe even younger."
"That senior once asked me whether the kid was particularly unpleasant. But honestly, I thought she was pretty great. The fact that she could even think of those questions meant she was smart—and attentive."
"After I said that, though, the senior looked completely unconvinced. She laughed at my judgment, said her kid had a terrible personality—so bad she'd even snapped at her own mother."
Cough—cough—cough.
A sudden fit of coughing cut him off.
"…Sorry. I accidentally choked."
Rudolf lowered her head. For some reason, her face was flushed, her gaze evasive.
Kitahara studied her briefly to confirm she was alright, then resumed.
"To be honest, I didn't really doubt that she might have a bad temper."
"According to that senior, the kid was related to her by blood. And that senior? Among everyone I've ever met, her personality ranked near the top in terms of sheer viciousness. Extremely violent, too."
"So if a related Umamusume had a bit of a nasty streak or a short fuse, that'd be normal. Especially since she'd torn up my proposal right away... Are you choking again?"
"…Mm."
Rudolf kept her head down and patted her chest lightly, hiding her embarrassment.
Just as she steadied herself, ready for him to continue, a hand appeared in front of her holding a glass of water.
"Have some. It'll help."
Kitahara waited until she'd taken a few sips and stopped coughing, then moved his chair directly across from her.
"Back to that kid," he said. "I don't think that senior was lying. But even if the kid had a bad temper—or violent tendencies—I still believe there was light in her heart."
"I studied those questions she sent carefully. And I reached a conclusion: they couldn't have been about herself."
"A lot of them would've seriously affected health and racing performance. If she'd really had even a tenth of those issues, she wouldn't have been able to become an Umamusume at all."
"So if they weren't her problems, the most likely explanation is they belonged to someone around her."
"Not to brag, but not everyone can spot an Umamusume's underlying issues at a glance the way I can."
"Many of the problems she asked about were subtle—deeply hidden. Without genuinely caring about someone and observing them closely, even veteran Trainers might never notice."
"So I think… even if she seemed harsh or irritable on the surface, at her core, she was probably still a good kid."
As he finished, Rudolf slowly lifted her head.
A faint light shimmered in her eyes.
Trainer Kitahara…
"But of course, yelling at her own mother was going way too far," Kitahara added casually, breaking Rudolf's reverie before the smile fully formed on her face.
The brief silence that followed felt uncomfortably heavy.
Eventually, Rudolf spoke again. "And afterward?"
"Afterward?" Kitahara tilted his head in thought.
"Well, after that, I kept in touch with her through that senior Umamusume. I continued traveling, offering advice here and there. That arrangement lasted several years."
"There wasn't much else to tell—it was always like what I mentioned earlier. Whenever the girl ran into trouble, she'd ask me questions, and I'd give her solutions or training plans when I had the time."
"The only thing worth mentioning was that after we became a bit more familiar, I realized that her trainer was terribly irresponsible. She practically never bothered with that kid. Honestly, it made me pretty angry at the time…"
"Because it increased your workload?" Rudolf asked gently.
"I won't deny that was part of it," Kitahara admitted, pausing briefly before sighing softly. "But more than that, I was angry on her behalf."
"I never met her personally, but from our exchanges, I could tell how hardworking and driven she was. She improved noticeably in every aspect—yet somehow, she ended up stuck with a trainer who barely did a thing for her."
"…You cared a lot about her?" Rudolf asked quietly.
"Obviously," Kitahara replied bluntly. "That girl was the first Umamusume I ever coached. Even if it was just remote guidance, it lasted years. Calling me half her trainer wouldn't be an exaggeration. Of course I cared."
"…Did you ever think about meeting her?"
"Honestly, yes," Kitahara admitted, leaning back to gaze out the window. "But in the end, I decided against it. The senior never explicitly said so, but I figured the kid must've been from some wealthy family. Meanwhile, I was wandering around with Eclipse, barely able to feed us."
"Besides, my role was limited to guidance. She had her own trainer—even if they were irresponsible, she'd chosen them herself. And who knows? Maybe there was some hidden reason behind that trainer's behavior."
He paused, adding quietly, "More importantly, the kid didn't seem to like me much. No point embarrassing myself."
Rudolf's body stiffened involuntarily.
To be fair, she hadn't exactly known better at the time. She'd always assumed the guidance she received came from a whole team assembled by Symboli Speed—and given how much she resented the old woman, it was natural her responses had carried some hostility.
"…I'm sorry," Rudolf muttered subconsciously.
Kitahara misunderstood her apology as sympathy for his past hurt and waved it off casually.
"It's fine, it was ages ago. I accepted it long ago. I don't expect everyone to like me—especially since, back then, some of my training demands were pretty harsh. It's natural she might have disliked me."
"No, that was a misunderstanding—" Rudolf blurted out suddenly.
"A misunderstanding?" Kitahara looked at her in confusion. "What misunderstanding?"
Realizing she'd slipped, Rudolf quickly calmed herself, carefully finding an explanation. "What I meant was, you might have misunderstood that child. Perhaps she didn't dislike you as much as you thought. You know that personality type people talk about nowadays—tsun… tsun-something…"
"Tsundere?"
"…Right, tsundere." Rudolf felt a flash of embarrassment but pushed through to save face.
Noticing Kitahara's thoughtful expression, Rudolf quickly pressed further. "Then, if you'd known back then that the girl didn't actually dislike you—and even invited you herself—would you have gone to meet her?"
"I suppose so?" Kitahara replied uncertainly. "It's hard to say for sure since it never happened. But if she really didn't hate me, considering how long I'd guided her, I probably would've tried to visit."
If only she'd realized sooner. If only that old woman had told her the truth earlier. If only she hadn't acted so stubbornly—or had even just shown less hostility…
Perhaps everything would've changed.
But there were no "if onlys." Regrets couldn't change reality. Still, unlike many Umamusume haunted by permanent regrets, Rudolf knew she still had a chance to make amends—a chance right before her eyes.
Drawing a deep breath, Rudolf steadied the tumultuous emotions in her heart and asked softly, "Then, Trainer Kitahara… what about now? How do you feel about her?"
"Now?" Kitahara considered briefly before giving Rudolf an answer she hadn't expected at all.
"I suppose… I feel guilty."
"…Guilty?" Rudolf stared at him, stunned. "Why?"
"Well…" Kitahara paused thoughtfully. "You heard what I said earlier—I had no real Trainer knowledge back then. Everything I knew, I learned on the fly. I made a lot of mistakes at first, took many wrong turns."
"Usually, a rookie Trainer would have someone guiding them. But I didn't, so I fumbled around blindly. And every mistake I made, every poor decision, fell directly onto that kid's shoulders."
"Everything I have today—my skills, my achievements—a significant part of it came from the foundation she helped build."
"To put it nicely, we grew together. To put it bluntly, I used her as a guinea pig. If it were me now, I could have done far better by her."
"Fortunately, despite my mediocre guidance, the kid herself was determined enough. The senior told me later that she managed to achieve pretty good results in the end. At least I didn't hold her back."
Pretty good results, huh…
Listening to Kitahara's quiet words, Rudolf felt herself drift momentarily into a haze. If she'd met the current Kitahara earlier—or if she'd started her career later, under his mature guidance…
Forget it.
Rudolf shook off such pointless thoughts, pulling her attention firmly back to reality. Gazing at the man before her, she spoke carefully.
"Then, Trainer Kitahara… if someone told you now that the girl never disliked you at all, would you seek her out?"
A brief silence.
Then he shook his head decisively.
"No, I wouldn't," Kitahara said without hesitation. "Misunderstanding or not, the past is past."
He raised his head, gazing out at the silver moon rising slowly in the darkening sky. Exhaling softly, Kitahara gave a gentle, genuine smile.
"Besides, I asked that senior about her recently. She said the kid's doing very well now."
"And that's enough for me."
---
T/N: lmao rudolf calling herself a tsun