Jeddah's phone buzzed.
MAMA.
He inhaled, then answered.
"Jedidiah! You've just forgotten your mother, abi? You can't pick my call again?"
"Ma, I've been really busy."
"Busy doing what? You young people in America now act like you don't have parents. Always forming 'work'."
He sighed, already tired.
"Anyway," she continued, "I called for something important. Have you found her"
Jeddah closed his eyes. "Mum..."
"Don't 'Mum' me. I'm serious. This one is a good girl o. Proper wife material. Not like those Instagram girls you people are always chasing."
"I'm not-"
"Please don't argue with me. Do you want to marry when your hairline is gone? You think time is waiting for you?"
He chuckled despite himself. "who's this girl even?why must I marry her"
"She's my best friend's daughter.A good girl. Big behind, very respectful, clean family. No baby mama drama. Not like that one you dated before-what's her name-Stacy?"
Jed rubbed his forehead. "Mum..."
"I'm not even joking. You need to settle down. This bachelor life won't help you. I want to carry grandkids before arthritis starts."
He smiled. "Alright. I hear you."
"No, not 'I hear.' You will call her. Her name is Ore. I've told you. I don't forget oh. You know that's your specialty."
Jeddah was about to end the call when he suddenly remembered.
"Wait, wait, wait, Mom. This girl..Ore... Where is she? I mean, how am I supposed to find her?"
There was a brief pause.
"Kí lóríburúkú béè tí o ń béèrè fún àgbàbíyà mi?"
(What's this silly question you're asking an old woman like me?)
"Am I supposed to do everything for you? I will take you to the river, and still be the one to force water down your throat? God! Jedidiah, find that one out yourself. I only got her number from her mummy-and the woman was kind enough to give it to me because you've been a useless boy."
"Mommy..." Jeddah pressed his fingers to his forehead.
"Jedidiah, find her. Meet her. Any kind of meeting you want to do. That's your business. I've done my part."
"Mommy!" Jeddah called again, slightly louder, exasperated. This woman was watching way too many telenovelas. She needed to stop before she lost it entirely. Not in her sixties.
"Bó, Mummy... Have you even met her? Ever seen her face? I just want to be sure because-okay, I called the number, and someone else picked. It was weird, and-"
She cut him off sharply.
"O màí Gọ́ọ̀d! Yejitaya bá mí dílé ayé bá mí!"
(Oh my God! Should I die for you?!)
"I told you-this girl is beautiful. Very beautiful. Big behind. Good shape. A woman like me telling another woman she's fine? That one is rare. So if I'm telling you she's good, just take it like that. Receive sense."
"I'm even stressed out right now. I'm an old woman o. I need peace. I should be learning how to sit back, get pampered, and enjoy my grandchildren-not stressing over one fine boy that doesn't want to settle down. You better do the needful, bro. Find her. Marry. Get out of my neck."
Her voice rose one more octave.
"And if you like, after this conversation, don't call me again. Don't give me updates. Don't look for her. I will look for you."
"Maami ..." Jeddah sang her name in a smooth, teasing Yoruba tune-the exact one he always used to get her smiling.
But she was too fast. She ended the call before he could fully catch her in the melody.
He dropped his phone and laughed.
Different film.
She didn't even let him tell her how things were going-or how the call went.
Typical Mama.
He rubbed his forehead slowly.
He had all the attention in the world-but now he needed just one.
And suddenly, his brain kicked into full gear.
She hung up before he could protest.
Jeddah dropped the phone and shook his head.
Nigeria-never far