I started talking about him like a memory —
while he still walked into rooms I sat in.
Still replied with "lol" and "yeah" and nothing else.
He was there.
But not with me.
And slowly, the part of me that used to light up at his name
just… dimmed.
I loved him in present tense.
But he gave me past-tense energy.
So I adjusted.
And called it healing.