Okay wait hold on—
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ROOM??
Why are there twelve old dudes floating in a circle?? Why is one of them glowing from the mouth??
Why is the ground made of jade???
WAITTTTT.....
WHY AM I NAKED (Sad emoji, Sad emoji, Sad emoji)
And then outta NOWHERE, some guy with the voice of a YouTube narrator just yells:
"OUR CHOSEN ONE HAS ARRIVED!!!"
HUH?
WAITT??
WHATTT????
BRO....
WHO CHOSE ME???
I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP FROM A NAP I was tryna heat my leftover noodles.
Now I'm floating above a turtle made of stars.
And before I can scream, some crusty elder steps forward like he's doing voice acting for a gacha game:
"We offer thee the **Curse of Eternity**, the **Gift of Heaven**, and the **Loneliness of All Gods."
…Also here's a pet fox. "
"bro what."
Now Fast forward 4.2 seconds—I can fly now??
I think I can teleport??
I **accidentally killed a bartender** in nearby town because I mentally whispered "shut up"and he just dropped
Like. He just fainted out of existence.
I cried for 3 hours lmaooo
He was pissin me off thoo
But then i resurrected him thru sheer guilt and cried once more
He fking said: You're a devil… fk u"
I tried to go home.
Guess what.
Home?? GONE.
The sky is purple. My phone turned into a dragon. He turned into a jade beauty descended and said:
"Dual cultivate with me."
Broo what happened to uuuuu~
"AND GURL WHAT—?????"
WHO TF SAYS THAT?
Bro I ran and cried behind my spirit beast.
His name is Kevin. He's tired of my bullshit.
Next day, a war general with 200,000 body count came up like:
"Fight me or perish, fake god."
Broo I have sever social anxiety fr bro...
Broo I was just abt to look for a therapist but was summoned here instead.....
whatever,
Fast forward to now i m king of heaven or whatever shit these mfs yell ngl
I m tired of their bullshit
I didn't apply. There wasn't even a form.
I got peer pressured into being divine
That general?
Yeah. He now serves me, after the aggressive hugging i had with him that day
I had to take him yk
Not cuz he good or smth but he begged me to take him as disciple like I'm running an internship program
said i just wanna go home "Broo i ain't a master or sum shit, I ain't a god"
And fking world started bleedin
what the hell setting is this who coded that shit bro i was soo terrified
Fire them rn asap
Whatever lmaoo smh,
But huhuhuhuhuhuhu,
I finally ditched that shiny, dramatic-ass realm
I forsook my id
Snuck out while everyone was fighting over "who gets to offer me their daughter for cultivation."
**I JUST WANTED TO WATCH NETFLIX.**
Current Questline: Join the sect Infront of u....
So now I'm here.
Standing outside a random sect.
Wearing someone else's clothes.
Holding a sword I don't know how to use.
Fox sleeping on my shoulder.
Kevin's glaring at me.
And the Sect Guard just asked:
"Name. Cultivation rank. Purpose?"
Bro....