Three months had passed since the Five Kage and Uchiha Hikaru announced the creation of the Ninja Association during Konoha's Chūnin Exams.
From that day onward, Kakuzu noticed a drastic decline in the number of contracts posted at the underground bounty exchange. Only a handful of humiliating, low-grade jobs still clung to the list like parasites refusing to die.
Today, Kakuzu had just completed a mission—hunting down a Jonin for a bounty—and was preparing to head to the abandoned exchange point with his eternal headache, Hidan, to claim the five-million-ryō reward hidden in their usual secret location… the toilet.
They moved through the filthy restroom with the ease of routine. The heavy stench of ammonia hit immediately, making Hidan wrinkle his nose and sniff twice.
"It still stinks like hell in here…"
With a hum of satisfaction, he strode to the innermost urinal, let Little Hidan out to do his business, and after ten seconds, his whole body shuddered from the release.
"Ahhh~ finally free. Gods, that feels good~"
But halfway through savoring the relief, something clicked wrong in Hidan's head.
…Why wasn't Kakuzu yelling at him?
Every time they came here, Hidan would use the urinal like it was some VIP golden shrine, and Kakuzu would instantly start barking insults at him.
But today—nothing.
No complaints. No profanity. No venom.
It felt wrong. Unholy, even. (・・;)
Hidan hurriedly pulled up his pants and shuffled after Kakuzu.
"Hey, what's with you today? Cat got your damn tongue?"
Kakuzu didn't respond. In his right hand, he held the pale corpse of the Jonin he'd spent a week tracking down. With his left, he tapped along the wall of the restroom.
Donk donk. Donk donk. Donk donk…
The more he knocked, the uglier his expression became beneath his mask. His brows scrunched tighter, his five hearts started pounding faster, and color flushed beneath his skin.
"Shut up. I'm finding the door."
He kept knocking—thirty seconds, a full minute—until finally his patience snapped. Kakuzu cocked his fist back and slammed it straight into the wall.
BOOM.
A huge hole blasted open… revealing nothing but bricks and mortar.
No hidden compartment.
No sliding panel.
No metal hatch leading to the exchange broker.
Just bricks.
Kakuzu dropped the Jonin's body to the floor and attacked the wall with both fists, ripping into the masonry like a wild animal. Hidan leaned against the opposite wall, arms folded, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You call me the 'God of Greed,' but you're the one punching walls for free. Seriously—your left hemisphere must be shit and your right is toilet water. Shake your head and you'll make soup."
Kakuzu didn't hear a word.
He ripped through the entire wall, brick after brick, until half the restroom interior was destroyed—
—and still no entrance.
Then the truth hit him.
The gold exchange was gone.
The hidden compartment in the toilet wall had been welded shut. Filled. Sealed.
And the corpse he'd spent seven hellish days capturing—the one he'd slept beside like a lover—was now worthless.
Was it attachment? Duty?
No.
It was money.
Five. Million. Ryō.
A week of work.
Gone.
Kakuzu's green eyes burned red at the edges—his rage simmering into a murderous heat.
He kicked the Jonin's corpse so hard it flew into a nearby stall, shattered the flimsy door, and plunged straight into the feces-filled pit.
"…Let's go."
He forced his voice steady and turned toward the exit.
But Hidan watched him walk away and—whether prompted by god, ghost, or pure stupidity—opened his mouth.
"Since we're already here… shouldn't you at least take a shit? Otherwise this whole trip really was a waste."
Kakuzu froze with one foot over the threshold. Slowly… silently… he lowered it back down.
After a long pause, he muttered:
"…You're right."
He looked left at the stalls, right at the urinals, then made a dignified beeline into SVIP Stall #1 and shut the door.
Inside, Kakuzu clenched his fists, sat down, and made a vow:
"Even if I have nothing in me today… I am filling this pit."
Outside, Hidan escaped the stench early, sat on the steps, and stared lazily at the clouds.
Behind him, the stall erupted with earth-shaking, wall-rattling detonations.
"…Holy crap," Hidan whispered. "How much rage can one man vent through his ass? That's not bowel movement—that's a chakra-enhanced purge." (⊙_⊙;)
An hour later, Kakuzu emerged with trembling legs and a strangely satisfied aura.
"…Let's go back."
That day, the cleaning staff opened Stall #1, took one glance, and silently wept. Their hearts were shattered. It took three days to clean the crater Kakuzu had created.
From that day forward, restrooms across the shinobi world carried a warning:
"If you are constipated, pray silently. May the Defecation Spirit bless your release."
For Kakuzu, the toilet—won at the cost of one week and five million ryō—became a sacred battlefield. He developed an unbreakable habit of squatting. A hobby forged from grief, rage… and economic trauma.
When Kakuzu and Hidan finally returned to the Akatsuki base—a hidden cavern thirty meters below the Land of Rain's storm-soaked surface—most of the members had already gathered.
The renegade swordsman Jūzō Biwa from Kirigakure.
Sasori of the Red Sand.
Deidara from Iwagakure.
Konan.
And Tendo Pain.
Only Obito and Zetsu were absent.
Tendo Pain stood atop a rock pillar, Rinnegan sweeping the chamber. Once he confirmed the missing two had not arrived, he spoke.
"Everyone is present. Next, White Tiger will brief us on the latest intelligence."
Konan stepped forward to speak—
—but Hidan tilted his head, confused.
"…Wait. Isn't someone missing?"
"They haven't shown up. Shouldn't we wait for those two before starting?"
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Send Power Stones
Bonus Chapter at 150 Power Stone
Second Bonus Chapter - 300 Power Stones
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