[TEN YEARS AGO]
When was the first time he saw the girl who writes , she sat at the corner with the sunlight basking on her skin and her long black hair which flowed simultaneously to the light wind, she looked ethereal , they were different , he somehow became popular because of his looks and in general everything about him , if you asked them why they liked him so much they would say that it was because he was Denver , he went with the flow , with the attention he got , he allowed himself to be immersed in it and...there she was , she gained that same attention but she was never bothered to it, never went with the flow , she always did what she wanted and she already knew what she wanted , while he just went with what people said.
At first he didn't get it, she had the chance to have people who were ready to stand by her , why didn't she just go with the flow like him?, now he knew , leaning onto someone, getting that attention that you never wanted was suffocating . one's life always have to be in the spotlight, sometimes just being in your space was enough , he wanted to be her friend, curious to know how she did it , how she didn't care of what people thought of her.
When that opportunity finally came and thy spoke for the first time in that class , he saw that she wasn't as poised as she posed herself to be, she also had her imperfections, when she bumped her leg on the table or when she had awkwardly waved her hand at him , it showed that she was also...human, it reminded him that she was human, whether she plugged her ears or not, she heard the gossips , she saw the admirers, but she just....ignored it all.
Despite when she saw her book damp on the ground in the rain, she didn't flinch , she just walked away, as precious as it was , she chose to ignore , anytime he looked at her from the back , her shoulders seemed so small to carry any of those burden , what did he feel for her back then..., what would he call it, was it...pity?.
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[SOME HOURS AGO BEFORE THE INCIDENT ]
Rhea was laying on her bed, Denver was always on her mind these days , why did he have to apologize....., he always apologizes even when he was not in the wrong , it was annoying, " was he a fool huh...?", she aggressively tugged at her bedsheet as she heaved slightly. At that moment her phone beeped, the person that came to mind was Denver , did he text her,but...it was just an unknown number which just simply said , " I will call you now ...", and as Rhea was still confused and trying to grasp the situation her phone rang , it blared in the silent room startling her , Daniel, Diah....it could be one of them, but....they never texted before calling her, who else had her number?, she shouldn't answer , she didn't know who it was , she shouldn't be curious , but then a text popped in once more , she glanced through, " please Rhea answer your call", before she could even process that message, her phone rang again , that buzzing, that ringing felt deafening , who was it?, should she, should she not?, and then.....her hand pressed the answer button , then a voice she thought she will never hear again echoed through the room , and at that moment the walls around her crumbled.
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There was a time I wanted to ask Denver what I meant to him, despite being so popular , why did he choose to approach me and why did I let him in , those eyes that looked at me and the way he leaned down to listen to me,....I couldnt recognise it then because I had never seen eyes look at someone like that , but looking into his eyes felt like reading a novel , there was so much to see at the same time there was a nothing. Through those eyes I felt authenticity, maybe that was what I feared....that one day , he would change and I would clearly see it and be able to tell, that was why I wanted to push him away.
As I saw them together , his usual lazy expression and the girl that just spoke non stop , I realized I have been in the wrong all through , I had never seen him like that before , he looked carefree, you could easily tell that whatever conversation they were having was flowing in both directions, she looked like she had everything sorted out, a good life, one with no complicated past or a dysfunctional family, she looked warm and pleasant.
What was I thinking was going to happen between us?, the illusion I had created for both of us was slowly blurring into reality , I felt my lips curve up into a smile , this had been such a long and beautiful dream.....it was time to wake up.
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[LOUZERIA RESTURANT]
Rhea stared at the woman before her , those beautiful features that people mummured about in the room and the obvious resemblance , you could easily tell that this was Rheas mother , the wealth that she abandoned her daughter for showed in every inch of her body, from her jewellery , bag, shoes and clothes, it was....repulsive.
The food had been served but neither had been touched, Rhea just coldly stared at her, despite being her mother, Rhea despised her with every fiber of her being , it was also easy to tell that her mother was nervous, how many years had it been ?, and this was the first time she had seen her in the flesh in fourteen years.
Grace cleared her throat,"Rhea...try..try the beef...., I heard it is good, even their steamed carrots , I heard they glaze it with honey", " I don't eat carrots", it was short , cold and blunt and the tension between them got more heavy, Grace could see that inevitable resentment in Rhea eyes, " oh....oh I see", Grace said awkwardly as she dropped her cutlery and fidgeted with her fingers underneath the table , it was tense , she couldn't even look at Rhea in yhe eye, " so....so how have you been doing lately ,I ....I heard about what happened and I want to.....", " tsk...pathetic.....", that single word felt....surreal, Grace slowly raised her head and met her daughters gaze, they were cold emotionless , the girl she gave birth to was no longer there, though sometimes she seemed aloof and mature for her age, she could always see through her but...this wasn't the girl she knew fourteen years ago .
" Ha...", Rhea sighed as she leaned unto the table , her arms crossed , that smile that etched from the corners of her lips was nothing but a facade, " did you think this will be a cute mother and daughter moment, you already saw it on the news right?, my life is trash now, so why are you asking ne something you already know....aahhh", she leaned back on her chair ,her arms still crossed , that smile stretching out more, " you just wanted to make sure that I truly failed ....", " Rhea that is not.....", " you wanted to see if it was really worth abandoning your useless daughter, you wanted to justify yourself huh.....wanted to clean that dirty conscience of yours....", " Rhea....", Grace called her out softly, her voice shaking as she tightly fisted her hand. Rhea sighed as she bent her head somewhat low before she spoke again, " why.....why did you suddenly call me out of the blue after fourteen years...did you...did you finally remember that you left you daughter behind?".
Rhea clenched her fist as she tried to fight back the tears , she won't cry infront of her, she won't let her tears fall infront of someone who is undeserving of it, but.....she wanted to know the reason why she never came back, why she never answered her calls and why she never turned back to look at her, as much as she hated hated her mother , she wanted to know the reason.
Grace eyes were already overflowing with tears as she repeatedly apologized, " I...I know you despise me so much that you want to kill me , I have been such a terrible mother to you , that I can't deny..., I was so focused on wealth that I forgot the one thing that was important to me .....please Rhea, please forgive me huh....", her voice slightly distorted from crying, Rhea shut her eyes , why was she giving her the option to forgive her , how could she say it so easily?, how could she tell her so easily to forgive her?, she always wondered what she would say to her mother when she saw her and now..., she narrowed her gaze as she bent her head lower , " why did you want you see me?", her voice this time was calm but it still held that absolute resentment, Grace bent her head low not answering the question, Rhea bit her lower lip as she looked away , " when I called you, why didn't you ever pick...?", another question that had been on her mind but...Grace didn't answer, she waited , she wanted to hear her say the reason , just anything that could give her a confirmation, to give her a reason not to hate her, but...she never did.
Rhea drew in shaky breath, that tear she had desperately begged to not finally did as she asked te final question, " why didn't you turn back that day?", Grace flinched at that question as she didn't dare to look up, Rheas voice was weak, her resolve broken as those tears streamed down her face , she hoped that eventhough her mother didn't answer the previous question, she could at least answer that one question that had kept her through all these years but...she didn't answer and Rhea just watched as her final hope drained out , in the midst of her tears, a sardonic smile formed as she leaned back, she raised her hand and roughly cleaned her tears , she had...completely wasted her time , she had done everything for that answer and she still didn't get it, " I am such a fool....", she muttered in amusement and then she raised her hand and slapped herself hard, her mother looked in shock as she wanted to say something but she couldn't, if she wasn't born , will this be happening to her?, if she wasn't pathetic or useless, will everyone treat her right?, she hated it, she hated how everyone saw her as a tool , how they could just walk over her feelings like this.
Those chains felt tighter , heavier and more suffocating and this time she knew that she couldn't break out of it.