' स्वप्नानुभवोहिमनसःप्रकाशः '
(' The experience of dreams is indeed the illumination of the mind')
The past few days have been nothing short of weird. To be honest, I feel like I am going a little insane. Not because of the upcoming thesis defense though; I know it's going to be bad. For the better half of the year, my health has been particularly down with bronchitis. The doctor suggested bed rest and ample medication, but I had to crunch up midnight hours with my pen and paper all along the bloody winter, which was already eating me, albeit part by part.
Eventually, my body could take it no more. I was coughing my lungs out and had to be shifted to the hospital where I spent a week, while my friends successfully defended their theses. If only I could have held up myself for one more week! Alas, my institute was gracious enough to provide me an extension, and the next date was three months later. Upon slight recovery, I went to my native place which was much more generous during the winters, the wind being breathable without me coughing all over the place begging for it to be over. Also, the care from my close ones was helping a lot.
So mostly, I have all the time in the world these days. Sometimes, I play out scenarios of how my defence would proceed. I was performing my best during these imaginary plays. But there was one particular professor (named Nishonku) who did not like me from our first encounter itself. He was enraged about how I had provided a different viewpoint on a philosopher's theory. Although he had a calm face, the twitch in his eye muscles revealed his anger. Apparently, I had totally missed the point of the philosopher. I was sure the philosopher would have laughed if he were anywhere near the point the professor was making. Thereafter, he always poked into my matters. I ignored him mostly, which angered him more to the core. So that was the petty power dynamics. Part of the academics, I guess, and I tried my best from my side to irritate him more.
I have been reading quite different things these days since none of my academic literature is with me. There is no television in my room, and the radio signal is attenuated a lot. So, I am at the mercy of magazines and other books in the house. I found them interesting after removing a layer of dust settled on them over the years. This resulted in the consumption of all kinds of information, and I guess my subconscious is all worked up, and I have been having different dreams. Tonight's dream was particularly amusing, and I decided to write it up. A few of the visions are vague, and I filled them up to the best of my imagination.
I was having my breakfast, and an old melody was being played in the background. The masterful lyrics soaked me in completely. There is such a charm in these songs, I pondered. I finished my breakfast, and my cell phone rang.
"Good morning... Vikram!"
So that's my name in my dream. Okay. Got it.
And somehow, I instantly knew all about the voice; well actually, my dream alter-ego did. I could not imagine a face for now, but her voice was soothing nonetheless. I was still happy; after all, she was in my dreams. I was living a dream.
"Hi Radhika," and I wished her morning to be good as well.
Then our chit-chat proceeded. I was surprised about the topics I could talk about in my dream version. It seems my subconscious ridded me of my reserved nature, and I am grateful for it! In the end, she notified me that her father wanted to talk to me.
I went blank in my head like a good session of meditation does. Her father knew about us, but nonetheless, this kind of situation put me on alert. You never know what hell might break loose, when and where. A father is a father, sworn to look after their kids. On top of that, her father was an important official, working for the CBI. When Radhika had introduced me to him, I was a hell of a lot of nervous. This man could see through lies after years of dealing with all kinds of deranged, crooked, insane, psychotic, clever people. One glance and you knew that he was staring down your soul. What possibly could you hide from him? After the meeting, it was clear that he knew everything about me, down to the last detail. Clearly, he had his resources to ensure who I was and how I was treating his daughter. Thank God I was not a spy, not involved in shady practices by a mile, and not trapping his daughter for intel. That gave me a chance. Radhika knew this and tried her best not to make the session an interrogation. She expressed her displeasure, and I understood that even a man as powerful as Mr. Anish could not go against the wishes of his daughter. He loved her much, cared for her as she had lost her mother to an early tragedy. I will elaborate on that sometime.
Then Radhika briefed me on the mission, "My father wants to have a word with you. He will send you the place and the time. He says it's urgent and you might need to call in sick to work today."
Thousands of questions crossed my mind. What possibly could it be? I surely was in a great deal of trouble. But he did not call me directly, so I was unsure. Anyway, I decided to comply. I applied for sick leave, and the headmaster reluctantly agreed. Apparently, in my dream as well, I was not on good terms with my superiors. I smirked as I remembered that I had suggested a few changes in the existing linguistic curriculum and that the students deserved to know more of their rich literary heritage, but the headmaster was more focused on shortening efforts on anything other than STEM. To him, literature was something that would mar the reputation of the institute in STEM fields, and other institutes would get all the laurels. That would result in fewer and fewer admissions and the trustees would not like that. "Go teach in a different place then." Well, I needed a job, and that was hard to get, so for then I kept my cool. Maybe my dream world was not so different from my real world. Even in the dream, I was scared of unemployment. And why the hell was I not some bigshot professor in some reputed university? Dream big, they say, and my mind surely did not understand that.