Nami screamed, scrambling backwards as Buggy's upper half, a grotesque flying torso armed with daggers, shot towards her. The heavy sack of treasure slowed her down, and the maniacal grin on the clown's face was getting closer and closer.
"Now you're mine, little thief!" Buggy cackled. "And so is MY treasure!"
He was so focused on Nami, so consumed by his rage and greed, that he had forgotten the most important rule of the battlefield: never lose track of all your parts.
Back in the center of the ruined street, Luffy looked at the bizarre scene. Buggy's flying torso was chasing Nami, while his lower half—his legs and feet—remained standing perfectly still, right where he had left them. A slow, brilliant, and incredibly stupid idea began to form in Luffy's simple mind.
'If his top half is flying…' he thought, a mischievous glint in his eye, '…then his bottom half is just… standing here.'
"Hey, Buggy!" Luffy shouted.
The flying head of the clown turned. "What do you want, Straw Hat?! Can't you see I'm busy?!"
"You forgot something!"
With that, Luffy took a running start and delivered a powerful, well-aimed kick directly between the legs of Buggy's stationary lower half.
The effect was instantaneous and universal.
Buggy's flying torso froze in mid-air. The maniacal grin on his face vanished, replaced by a mask of pure, bulging-eyed agony. He let out a strangled, high-pitched squeal. His daggers slipped from his grasp and clattered to the ground. His entire upper body then plummeted from the sky, landing in a heap and curling into a fetal position, his detached hands clutching at his phantom groin.
Luffy stood over the twitching lower half, cracking his knuckles. "Don't you ever forget who you're fighting," he said with a grin.
Nami stopped running, panting as she stared at the scene, half horrified, half hysterically amused.
"Just run, Nami!" Luffy called out. "Forget the treasure!"
"No way!" Nami shot back, hugging the heavy sack protectively. Her greed, even in the face of mortal danger, was unshakable. "I stole this fair and square! It's mine now! A pirate like him has no right to tell me off for being a thief!"
Her words seemed to snap Buggy out of his pain-induced stupor. "You… you little witch!" he roared, his voice several octaves higher than usual.
He pushed himself up, his face purple with rage and humiliation. This time, he separated himself even further. His head, torso, hands, and feet all began to float independently, a chaotic swarm of body parts.
"I'll tear you to pieces!" he shrieked, sending his various parts flying towards Nami from all directions.
It was a disorienting, impossible-to-track assault. But Luffy's eyes were once again fixed on the one part of Buggy that wasn't flying.
His feet. They were still planted on the ground, acting as an anchor point for the rest of his body.
Luffy dashed forward and, with a cheerful laugh, grabbed one of Buggy's shoes.
"Hey! What are you doing?! Let go of my foot, you bastard!" Buggy's floating head screamed.
Luffy didn't listen. He began to wiggle his fingers, mercilessly tickling the sole of Buggy's foot.
A bizarre thing happened. Buggy's various flying parts began to twitch and spasm in mid-air. A strangled laugh escaped from his floating head. "Stop! Hahahaha! Wh-what are you… hehehe… doing?!"
His assault on Nami faltered as his body was wracked with involuntary laughter.
"This is fun!" Luffy declared, and then, for good measure, he began to slam Buggy's foot repeatedly against the cobblestones.
SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!
With every impact, Buggy's floating head winced in pain. "Ow! Stop! Ouch! My magnificent foot!"
The distraction was all Nami needed. Seeing her chance, she swung the heavy sack of gold like a medieval flail, aiming for Buggy's head.
"Take this!"
Buggy, despite the bizarre torture, was still a seasoned pirate. His hand shot out and grabbed the sack, stopping it in mid-swing.
"My treasure!" he snarled.
A tug-of-war began, Nami pulling on one end of the sack, Buggy's detached hand pulling on the other. With his free hand, Buggy raised a dagger, preparing to stab the defiant thief.
"It's over for you!"
But he had forgotten about Luffy again.
A rubbery leg whipped through the air, delivering a sharp kick to the side of Buggy's floating head. The impact sent the clown's head careening directly into the treasure sack he was holding.
RIP!
The heavy canvas tore open. A glittering waterfall of gold coins, jewels, and precious artifacts rained down onto the street.
And amidst the glittering shower, a single, rolled-up parchment fluttered down.
The map to the Grand Line.
Luffy's hand shot out and snatched it from the air. "Got it!"
Buggy, dazed from the kick, let his body parts fall to the ground. He was furious. His treasure was scattered everywhere, and his map was stolen.
"That's it! Time to get serious!" he roared, preparing to reassemble his body for one final, all-out assault.
His feet stood up. His hands flew to his sides. His head floated into position. He was ready.
But… where was the rest of him?
He looked down and saw only a comical gap between his head and his feet. His torso, his powerful arms and legs, were nowhere to be seen.
He frantically looked around, and then he saw it.
A short distance away, Nami was just finishing tying the last knot. She had taken advantage of the chaos, gathering up all of Buggy's defenseless, scattered body parts and tying them up securely with a rope she had been carrying.
She gave him a triumphant smirk.
Buggy stared in horror at his own immobilized torso. He was now nothing but a head, two hands, and two feet. A pathetic, miniature version of his former self.
He knew he was defeated.
Luffy stood before him, cracking his knuckles. He planted his feet firmly on the ground.
"This is for my hat," he said, his voice low and serious. "And for Shanks."
He stretched both of his arms far, far back, the rubbery limbs disappearing down the street behind him. He pulled them taut, aiming the twin projectiles of his fists directly at the miniature clown.
"Gomu Gomu no…"
The air crackled with stored energy.
"BAZOOKA!"
His arms snapped forward with the force of a cannon. His two open palms slammed squarely into Mini-Buggy's chest.
The impact was absolute.
Buggy didn't even have time to scream properly. He was launched into the sky, a tiny, spinning clown, flying higher and higher.
"CURSE YOU, STRAW HAAAAAAAT!" his voice echoed, growing fainter and fainter, until he became just a tiny twinkle in the vast blue sky, and then vanished completely.
The battle was over.