Klee: Brother Han Feng Is Taking Me to Liyue to Blow Up Fish? Yay!
Once Ganyu hurried out carrying her "Slime-shaped master,"
Madame Ping and Yanfei also took their leave— having witnessed the shop's miracles, they were more than satisfied.
And they were sure they'd return.
Maybe even bring other old friends… maybe even the Geo Archon himself.
Not long after—
pat pat pat—
A little red blur dashed toward the counter.
"Brother Han Feng! Klee finished the comic!!"
Klee held the book above her head with pure joy.
Han Feng smiled.
"Finished already?"
Klee nodded vigorously.
"Mm-hm! It's super good!
Klee loves Big-Boomy-Ziggs-Brother and Blue-Hair-Sister!"
Ah yes.
Out of the entire cast of League of Legends, the ones she liked were:
the explosives maniac
and the explosives maniac
…of course.
Han Feng blinked.
"Blue-Hair… Sister? Oh—you mean Jinx?"
"Yep yep! That sister!"
Klee nodded, then suddenly became serious.
"But even though Klee likes her…
Captain Jean said you mustn't use bombs to hurt people.
Blowing up fish is much better!"
Noelle, listening from the side, could only smile painfully.
She still remembered all too well— the day she asked Klee for "knight training advice," and Klee happily dragged her out to play with bombs…
…which got them both locked up by Jean.
Klee: innocent.
Noelle: traumatized.
"Mondstadt's fish must really, really hate you…"
Han Feng's mouth twitched.
Those poor aquatic souls.
Better luck in the next life.
Preferably in Inazuma.
Or literally anywhere except Mondstadt.
Klee hopped in place.
"So! Brother Han Feng! What's Klee's reward?
Is it a bomb?? Is it? Is it??"
Han Feng chuckled.
"Don't rush."
He opened the system— and the panel refreshed.
[Customer: Klee Read "Runeterra"
Reward — Enhanced Mega Inferno Bomb]
[Mega Inferno Bomb (Enhanced):
A super-long-range explosive fired from Ziggs' signature invention.
Deals massive magic damage in the blast zone.]
[Note: Enhanced version has far greater area and power.
Use responsibly.]
Han Feng blinked.
"…A buffed ultimate.
As expected of Klee."
Ziggs' ult was already terrifying.
Now upgraded by the system?
Probably at least equivalent to a mini-nuke.
In the future—
Left hand: God-Tier Card
Right hand: Ultra Mega Inferno Bomb
The meme "We promise not to deploy Klee unless provoked"
might actually become official Mondstadt policy.
A beam of light descended.
When it faded, Klee held a card in her hands— the artwork showing a massive, fiery explosion.
"Brother Han Feng, what's this?"
Han Feng patted her fluffy head.
"It's Ziggs' strongest move— the Mega Inferno Bomb.
A giant explosive you can launch from very far away.
Yours is the enhanced version."
Klee's eyes sparkled like fireworks.
"Really?! Then Klee's gonna go blow up fish right now!!"
She turned to run—
Han Feng immediately grabbed her by the hood.
"Hold it!
This bomb is way too strong.
If you use it in Mondstadt, you won't just get put in timeout— Jean might build a whole prison for you."
The range-damage was enormous.
This was area annihilation.
A single shot could probably remove half a mountain.
If Klee used this in Mondstadt…
The Knights wouldn't have time to lock her up— they'd have to evacuate the city first.
Klee froze.
"Eh… can't use it…?"
Her little ears drooped.
She'd been so excited to try her new toy.
Han Feng chuckled and pinched her cheek.
"Not in Mondstadt.
But later, I'll bring you to Liyue.
There'll be a perfect chance for fish-blasting."
Klee grabbed his sleeve instantly.
"Really?! Really really?! Does Liyue have fish?!"
"Mm."
Han Feng smiled meaningfully.
"A really big fish.
With five heads.
Perfect for bombing."
Klee gasped.
"FIVE-HEADED FISH?!
YAY!!!"
She bounced like a spring.
She had no idea what kind of creature that was— but if it had five heads, it must be super fun to blow up.
(Oseil: sneezes in the deep sea)
Suddenly, Klee quickly stuffed the reward card into her backpack.
Noelle blinked.
"Klee, why are you hiding it?"
Klee lowered her voice and whispered:
"Captain Jean doesn't let me play with bombs…
Last time she almost confiscated my God-Tier Card… So Klee has to hide everything!"
Then she tugged Noelle's sleeve.
"Noelle big sister…
When Barbara asks… can you not tell her what reward Klee got?
Please? Pretty please?"
Noelle hesitated.
For the safety of Mondstadt… she really should—
Then Klee's eyes widened.
Her little hands clasped together.
Her entire aura radiated the deadliest weapon known to mankind—pure, lethal moe.
"Pweeeeease?"
Noelle's brain: blue screen
"…Y-yes!! No problem!!
I won't say a thing!!"
Who cares about fish?
Who cares about explosions?
Nothing can resist Klee's cuteness.
Han Feng smirked.
"Klee's ultimate technique— weaponized adorableness."
Cute is justice.
Cute conquers all.
Even he felt a string of imaginary 648 recharge prompts appear in his vision.
Truly, an apex lifeform.
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