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Chapter 4 - Chapter Four

We didn't talk for a few days. Then, one afternoon as I was walking home from school, I spotted him sitting at their gate. He looked up just as I approached, and his face brightened with a hopeful smile. He waved awkwardly, then called out softly, "Hey… Angelica." His hand lifted slightly in a tentative reach, as if unsure whether I'd come closer. My heart leapt—I was so happy he wanted to talk to me. After days of emptiness, just hearing my name from him filled me with a warmth I hadn't realized I was craving.

A shy smile spread across my face as I approached. "Hello, it's been a while. How have you been?"

His smile mirrored mine, gentle and genuine. Without thinking, he wrapped me in a hug. The warmth of his arms around me chased away some of the lingering coldness inside. "I'm sorry. I miss you."

I hugged him tightly in return, holding on as if to freeze this moment in time. "I miss you too," I whispered, my voice trembling with things left unsaid.

We settled down by the gate, sitting close yet silent for a while. The quiet stretched, filled only by distant city sounds and the beating of my own heart.

Finally, I broke the silence, my voice soft and uneven. "I'm sorry for leaving that day. I appreciate your feelings—I know they're real. It's just… I got scared." I looked down, struggling to hold back tears. "I don't want you to leave me, like my two exes did. I want us to stay together forever, even if it's just as friends."

A sad smile tugged at my lips. "Also… I know it's been a year since Mitch and I broke up, but I still miss him. I don't know if I still love him, but I'm longing for him, hoping one day he might come back. I'm really sorry."

Hot tears slipped silently down my cheeks. I glanced up to see that he didn't say a word—just reached into his pocket and handed me a handkerchief. His eyes were soft, steady, full of quiet understanding.

After a few moments, he finally spoke, his voice warm and unwavering. "That's beautiful. You still miss and care for him, even after all this time."

He hesitated, then added more firmly, "I want that too—I want you to love me the way you love him. I want your care, your attention. I want you."

He took a deep breath and looked straight into my eyes, his gaze unwavering and sincere. "Angelica, may I court you? You don't have to say yes right away; take all the time you need. I promise I won't rush you. Let's just keep doing the things we usually do… but this time, I want to spoil you and show you I'm worthy of your love. Will you let me? Will you give me the honor to court you?"

His voice was almost a whisper, filled with hope and a vulnerability that made my heart flutter. I could see the faintest tremble in his hands as he nervously brushed a stray lock of hair away from his forehead.

I swallowed, my mind reeling. He looked at me with a pleading gaze. So cute, so handsome. His almond-shaped hazel eyes shimmered under long lashes, framed by gentle, not-too-thick eyebrows. and his lips—he has beautiful lips, small and heart-shaped, as pink as roses, lips that have never been touched by a girl or cigarettes. I wanted to kiss them; I wanted to taste them. I'd never kissed anyone before, but looking at his lips, I had this urge to kiss them.

Lost in the softness of the moment, I didn't realize he was calling my name. "Angel?"

His voice pulled me back to reality. I blinked and met his gaze. "Yes?"

He chuckled softly, a playful glint in his eyes. "Why are you so startled? I caught you staring at my lips."

I felt my face flush. I instinctively stepped back and shook my head. "Huh? No! I wasn't…"

He smiled mischievously, seeming to enjoy my embarrassment. He leaned in slightly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear before gently placing his hand on my cheek. "Do you want to kiss it?"

I flinched and quickly pulled his hand away, cheeks blazing. "No! How could I? How dare I?"

His warm smile softened, and he looked deeply into my eyes. "Your answer?"

Was he teasing me about the kiss or the courtship? Not wanting to give him too much to tease me about, I chose to answer about the courtship.

"I… um, yes. You may court me...but I don't know if I can return your feelings yet. It might take months, maybe even years," I whispered, my voice trembling with both hope and fear.

His eyes sparkled with something bright and unwavering, a mixture of relief and joy. Without hesitation, he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I'll make you happy. I don't care how long it takes—that's what courting is all about! I love you, Angelica."

I felt my heart flutter wildly, caught between the warmth of his words and the knot of anxiety still twisting inside me. Deep down, I wanted nothing more than to say yes, to be his girlfriend, but the uncertainty held me back. Could I open my heart fully again?

After a few moments, he gently pulled away, his gaze softening. "I've kept you here too long. You should go home," he said quietly.

I felt a pang of disappointment that the afternoon was ending so soon, but I nodded, forcing a small smile. "Oh! Right! I should get going."

With a last shy glance, I turned and ran, my heart pounding as I made my way home.

Once inside my room, I pressed my back against the door and closed my eyes. My chest still raced from the flood of emotions—the hope, the fear, and the promises whispered in the fading daylight.

Though uncertainty clung to me like shadows, a tiny spark of warmth blossomed inside. Maybe, just maybe, this time things could be different.

Taking a deep breath, I whispered to the quiet room, "I'll try. For him… and for me."

A small smile broke through the clouds of doubt, and for the first time in a long while, I felt ready to face whatever tomorrow might bring.

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