"But now that we've had our fun—what the hell are you doing on my island?"
Silence fell like a curtain.
Nami raised an eyebrow. "Your island? This isn't a private domain. There's a whole village here—"
"I don't care about the politics; you think you can just sail in here unnoticed?" the voice cut her off. "Unregistered boat. No merchant flag. No Navy colors. No shipping logs. That's suspicious as hell. You three scream 'pirate' from a mile away."
"Well that's ridiculous," Nami snapped. "What if we were just castaways? Or visiting merchants? Ever think of that?"
"You're on a dinghy with a torn sail and no cargo," the voice deadpanned. "What kind of merchant would sail that?"
She opened her mouth—and then closed it.
"…Fair point," Zoro muttered.
Luffy, still hanging upside down, gave a big, happy grin. "We're pirates!"
Nami's head whipped toward him. "Luffy! What the hell!?"
There was a full beat of silence. Then the voice, dry and unimpressed:
"Welp. There you go."
Nami immediately smacked the straw hat boy on the head with the branch again. "You absolute moron!!"
The long stick thwacked Luffy on the head repeatedly as Nami vented her frustration on his rubbery skull.
"You idiot!"
Thwack!
"Pirates are dangerous!"
Thwack!
"They shoot people on sight!"
Thwack!
"We're supposed to be diplomatic!"
"I'm sorry!" Luffy laughed, even as she smacked him again. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Nami, wait—ow."
Zoro rubbed his temples. "So much for diplomacy. Alright, enough playing nice."
He turned back toward the trees.
Zoro, watching with folded arms, exhaled through his nose. Then he turned toward the woods and raised his voice. "Alright, you're clearly watching us. So what? You only know how to hide and giggle in the trees? You set rabbit traps and talk tough from the shadows. Must be a real hero around here."
Silence.
"Oh, what, now you're shy? Thought you had a lot to say," Zoro added, voice like gravel. "Or are you one of those cowards who only has a backbone when they're up a tree?"
The response was a scoff.
"You're preaching to me about honor?" the voice said, "that's rich coming from a pirate. What? You lot scream about honor and pride while burning down ports and robbing the weak?"
Zoro didn't flinch. "I don't remember robbing anyone. But if you've got something to say, come out and say it."
"Why?" the voice replied coolly. "Being a coward works for me. Always does, besides, I don't owe pirates anything."
Another pause. Then:
"And what's wrong with being a coward?" the voice asked, genuinely curious. "Keeps you alive. That trap? Worked. You walked right into it. So who's really the idiot here?"
Zoro clenched his jaw.
Luffy, still swinging, looked thoughtful. "Coward, huh...?"
He tilted his head.
"You don't sound like a coward," Luffy said aloud, eyes scanning the canopy. "I've met plenty. They shake. Hide. Beg. You just talk like you know what you're doing."
He grinned upside down.
"You sound cool!"
The forest fell silent again. The echo of Luffy's earnest voice lingered in the leaves, like even the trees were stunned.
"…You're weird," the voice finally replied, after a beat. "Still stupid—but weird stupid."
Luffy grinned wider, swinging a little in his net like a particularly smug coconut.
Nami rubbed her forehead. "Now what?"
"I'm going to ask again," the voice said. "Why are you here? And don't lie. I can sniff out a fake smile from across a field and read a twitch before you even blink."
His voice was calm, but there was something underneath. A sharpness. Not bloodthirsty, not cruel—but watching.
Carefully.
Closely.
Nami opened her mouth—but, of course, Luffy got there first.
"We're here for food!" he declared cheerfully.
"LUFFY—!"
Zoro didn't say anything. His hand rested on his sword hilt. Calm. Ready.
"And maybe to buy a ship!" Luffy added, still stuck. "A good one! One that can take us far! To the Grand Line! But mostly—we're starving!"
He turned his head slightly, hanging upside-down and tilting like a confused bat. "You live here, right? There's a village nearby, isn't there? Villages mean people! And food! Maybe even a ship!"
There was a pause. One second. Two.
Then the bushes to their left—just a few meters away—moved.
Zoro's eyes snapped to the motion. Nami nearly jumped back, her hand flying to her side even though she had no weapon.
Luffy blinked. "Huh?"
Two thick branches straightened into… legs.
The "bush" took a step.
Nami's jaw dropped. "WHAT THE—?!"
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "COOL!"
Zoro didn't move—but his body tensed like a bowstring being drawn.
The shrub shook. Leaves fell away.