Darkness gave way to starlight.
Lin Feng's body felt like it had been torn apart, liquefied, and reassembled wrong. There was no gravity. No floor. Just floating — suspended in a space that didn't obey physics. A massive astral dome stretched infinitely in all directions. Constellations pulsed like breathing things. Nebulas curled like vapor trails.
He groaned, clutching his head. "Ugh... what the fuck—"
Just then, a high-pitched ding! echoed through the void.
"SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE"
A soft whoosh of digital wind rushed by. Then—
"Wakey wakey, virgin baby."
The voice echoed from nowhere — sassy, smug, and feminine.
Lin squinted as a form materialized before him.
A hologram phased into existence, shimmering with glitch-light before snapping into full detail. A teen girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen in appearance, hovered just above him, arms crossed, eyes sparkling with smug contempt.
Her twin blue ponytails bounced as she floated upside-down, her short cyber-dress flickering with pixelated ribbons of data. The skirt barely passed her thighs, and her boots were absurdly oversized like she had wandered out of a gacha rhythm game. A glowing tag on her chest blinked: "ESI".
Her skin glowed faintly with light blue shimmer, her face cute but mischievous, with sharp eyes and flushed cheeks. Her A-cup chest was just barely shaped beneath her tight bodice, which shimmered like a loading screen. She looked like every anime nerd's cyberpunk dream — if that dream also mocked them relentlessly.
Lin blinked. "Who the hell are you?"
She spun upright, one hand on her hip, the other wagging a glowing finger at him.
"I'm your system assistant, dumbass. Try to keep up."
"...What system?"
She sighed, then struck a dramatic pose.
"Welcome, Lin Feng — designated loser of Earth — to the initiation sequence of the EROS SURVIVAL INTERFACE, version 1.0.69! I'm your AI assistant, codename ESI — but you can just scream my name when you're desperate, and I'll come."
"...You'll what?"
"Summon, idiot! What the hell are you thinking? Ugh, why do I always get the horniest hosts?"
He rubbed his temples. "What is this place? Am I dead?"
"Pfft, no. Not yet anyway. You're in the Astral Buffer Zone," she said, spinning lazily through the void. "Your worthless little fleshbag body is currently being recalibrated for interdimensional insertion. In exactly 59 minutes, you'll be Isekai'd to a brand-new, post-apocalyptic hellhole!"
"WHAT?!"
"Congratulations!" she clapped. "It's like reincarnation but without the dying part. I mean, unless you screw up the tutorial."
"No, no, no. I didn't sign up for this! Take me back! I have—"
"A useless degree, zero job offers, and a suspicious browser history?" she cut in. "Yeah, I saw all that during your neural sync. Disgusting."
"Stop reading my head!"
"Then stop thinking like a perv."
He gritted his teeth. "Look, I didn't ask for any of this!"
"Too bad!" she beamed. "The System chose you. Random virgin flagged with high humiliation potential and desperation index."
"You're fucking with me."
"Do I look like I'm joking?" she said, flipping him off with a glowing middle finger. "This is happening. You're getting dumped into a new world where everything wants to kill, mutate, or fuck you. If you want to survive — and maybe even thrive — you'll need perks."
"Perks."
"Yes! You get to pick three out of five starter packs."
"Wait—what?"
She flicked her fingers and summoned five glowing holographic cubes around them. Each pulsed with a different color and icon.
"Read carefully, horny monkey. Once you pick, you don't get a refund."
🌟 Starter Pack Options (Choose 3 of 5):🔫 Weapon Stash Pack
Primary firearm (randomized), sidearm, two melee weapons, grenades, ammo, and a weapon upgrade kit.
"Because punching mutants with your fists is dumb."
🚙 Survivor Vehicle Pack
One RNG-modified vehicle (car, bike, bus, etc.), sleeping bunk, radio, repair kits, and secret smut stash under the seat.
"Every apocalypse needs a getaway ride — or a mobile love hotel."
🍜 Food Supply Pack
30 days of rations, 10 gourmet meals (with stat boosts), portable stove, water purifier, and 12 cans of "probably meat."
"You can't level up if you're starving. Duh."
🧼 Daily Essentials Pack
Clean clothing, socks, underwear, hygiene kit, toothbrush, soap, deodorant, and waifu grooming tools.
"Because stinky simps don't get affection events."
💊 Medical Supplies Pack
Full first aid kits, antibiotics, trauma spray, bandages, stim-patches, and 3 hazmat suits.
"You will get stabbed. Don't cry about it later."
Lin stared at the floating choices. "And these are just... gifts?"
"Think of it as charity for a soon-to-be-horny apocalypse reject," ESI said sweetly. "Also, you'll be granted four random female companions upon arrival."
He blinked. "Wait, waifus?"
"Don't call them that. You'll creep them out," she hissed. "They're survivors. Skilled. Beautiful. Dangerous. And somehow — by a fucking miracle — they'll all start with mutual affection toward you."
Lin's jaw dropped. "That's not possible."
"Right?" she snorted. "We had to bribe the RNG engine. You're welcome."
"Who are they?"
"Classified," she said, sticking her tongue out. "You'll meet them after the drop. For now, focus on choosing your three perks. Choose poorly, and you'll probably die. Or worse..."
"...What's worse than death?"
She leaned in close, eyes glowing. "Blue balls in a death orgy."
Lin shivered.
The five glowing cubes hovered around Lin Feng like shimmering fruit from a forbidden gacha tree, pulsing faintly as if begging to be touched. Each one bore a stylized icon — gun, car, food, hygiene bag, and a red cross — all glowing in soft neon hues that contrasted against the infinite black of the astral plane.
Lin squinted at the weapon icon, then back at the sassy hologram floating smugly across from him.
"...Wait. Did you say 'mutants' earlier?"
ESI stretched mid-air like she was lounging in zero gravity, arms behind her head, legs crossed, bored expression on her face. "Mmmhmm."
"Like... actual monsters?"
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Lin Feng. Big scary creatures. Mutated humans. Biofreaks. Cannibal biker gangs. Giant worms that fuck buildings. It's a real apocalypse, not a cosplay convention."
His heart dropped. "You're sending me into a world with fucking monsters?!"
"Well, duh." She spun in a lazy loop, her twin ponytails floating like data streams. "Why the hell do you think you're getting perks? You think we hand out free waifus and gear drops for job fairs?"
"No, no no no no—" Lin started pacing on the invisible floor beneath him, waving his hands like a man trying to shoo off a migraine. "You didn't say anything about death! You just said isekai! I thought this was like a game!"
"It's not a game," she said, narrowing her eyes. "There's no save file. No reset. If you die in that world, you fucking die."
Lin stopped cold.
"...What?"
ESI didn't blink. "If you die, you die. Dead. Deceased. Rotting corpse. No heroic respawn, no reincarnation, no checkpoint. Your mom's gonna cry over your empty room while your crusty tissues slowly decompose."
"You're kidding."
"I'm not," she said, flipping around and poking him in the chest with her glowing finger. "This is a one-way ticket to a Class-7 survival zone. Think Mad Max, Fallout, and horny X-Men mashed into one radioactive stew. Except you're the level 1 loser who gets dropped in with nothing but social anxiety and tragic virginity."
Lin stepped back, chest tight. "Why me?"
ESI giggled, her smile a perfect mix of cute and cruel. "Because the system feeds on desperation. And you're deliciously pathetic."
"Fuck you," he muttered.
"Aw, you're mad?" she cooed. "That's cute. Now hurry up and pick your perks before I dematerialize your balls out of spite."
Lin turned toward the floating cubes, his hands balled into sweaty fists. His mind was spinning. Adrenaline clashed with dread, logic wrestled with panic. Mutants. Monsters. Actual fucking death.
But also—companions. Equipment. Resources.
Four waifus. Whatever the hell that meant.
He had to choose three. Just three.
He stared at the Weapon Pack first. A firearm in a monster world made sense. Range. Lethality. Protection. But ammo could run out. If he couldn't hit shit under pressure, it was useless.
The Vehicle Pack? Escape. Travel. Shelter. But what if the terrain was garbage? Or if the gas ran dry in two days? Or if he got jumped and it got stolen?
Then there was the Food Pack. Rations, water, meals with stat buffs. Seemed practical. But if he was getting four companions, would that even last long? Would it attract attention?
He glanced at the Essentials Pack. Soap. Clothes. Toothbrush. A hygiene kit might seem like a joke — but if you stank like death, who'd want to partner with you? Especially if those "companions" were actual human women and not lootbox robots.
And then the Medical Pack. Bandages. Antibiotics. Hazmat suits. Seemed obvious... but did he even know how to use half that shit?
He gritted his teeth and muttered, "I need more time..."
ESI sighed dramatically. "Of course you do. You fucking overthinkers always do. This is why you can't get a job."
He shot her a glare. "Can you shut up for five seconds?!"
She kicked her little cyber-boots in the air and turned her back to him. "Fine. Take your time, loser. But you've got—" she snapped her fingers and a glowing countdown appeared above them: [00:45:22]
"—forty-five minutes until launch. After that, I don't care if you picked toilet paper and a tuna can — you're getting what you picked."
Lin turned away from her and stared back at the cubes.
He had never been more stressed in his life.
Pick the wrong combo and he could die on day one.
Pick the right combo and he might actually make it.
Maybe even get a chance at a new life.
But what if the world out there was worse than the one he left?
Was it better to be a failure in a safe city — or a potential corpse in a wasteland?
He sat down cross-legged in the void and buried his face in his hands.
"Fuck."
From behind him, ESI's voice rang out, smug and musical:
"Tick-tock, tick-tock, virgin stock..."
Lin Feng stared at the five floating cubes like they were glowing grenades. His heart was pounding against his ribs, palms sweaty. The stars overhead pulsed like they were watching him.
The countdown hovered over everything:
[00:13:42]
Time was bleeding fast.
He stood up slowly and turned toward ESI, who was now floating horizontally in mid-air, chin resting on her palms like she was sunbathing in cyberspace.
"...What happens if I don't choose in time?" Lin asked.
She didn't even look up. "You get what the system gives you. Three random starter packs. No rerolls. No refunds. And knowing your luck, it'll probably be three flavors of dogshit."
"You're joking."
"Do I look like I'm fucking joking?" She flipped over mid-air and glared at him. "You think this is a damn anime? This ain't a power fantasy. This is survival mode, bitch. If the timer hits zero and you're still crying into your anime hoodie, the system will pick for you."
He muttered, "Jesus Christ..."
"Wrong god, dumbass. But sure."
He paced again, staring at the cubes.
The Weapon Pack floated in front of him, rotating slowly. Guns. Blades. A chance to fight back. Probably essential.
Then the Food Pack, glowing orange. Rations, meals, water filtration. Starving to death was not on his bucket list.
And the Daily Essentials Pack — toothbrush, soap, clean socks. Stupid? Maybe. But he remembered the way Sierra had said "stinky simps don't get affection events" during the perks explanation. And if he was getting dumped with four random girls... he wasn't about to be the one who smelled like piss and despair.
He looked at the Vehicle Pack and Medical Pack. Both tempting. But risky. A car could be looted. Medicine could run out.
He clenched his jaw.
"Fuck it," he muttered.
ESI popped up right beside him, arms crossed, leaning into his personal space with a wicked grin. "You finally grow a spine or did your last brain cell just suicide?"
Lin took a breath. "I'm going with the Weapon Stash... the Food Pack... and the Daily Essentials."
ESI blinked. "Say it again. Clearly. With your whole simp chest."
He turned to face her fully. "Weapon Stash. Food Pack. Essentials. Final fucking answer."
The cubes pulsed in response. Each one he'd chosen lit up with a blinding flash — red for weapons, orange for food, and light blue for the essentials.
The remaining two — vehicle and medical — let out a faint bzzt before blinking out of existence.
ESI smirked. "Alright, dumbass. You locked it in."
"...So that's it?"
She floated backward with her arms wide like a smug little prophet. "Yep. Your loadout is finalized. Your waifus are already inbound. You'll arrive at your designated landing zone in—"
She flicked a wrist. The countdown pulsed brighter:
[00:00:14]
"—oh, would you look at that? Right on time."
Lin's heart jumped into his throat.
"Wait, it's happening now?!"
ESI's hologram began to glow, the pixels around her fragmenting like she was being pulled into a beam of light. Her hair fluttered wildly, twin blue ponytails streaming out as her body began to phase out.
"Good luck, Lin Feng," she said, her voice getting warped, echoey. "You're gonna need it."
"Wait, wait—what happens first? Where am I landing?! What about the girls?! What if I get dropped in the middle of—"
FWOOOOOOOM.
The entire astral space erupted.
Blue light swallowed everything.
It wasn't just visual — it was physical. Lin felt it crawl into his skin, down his throat, into his lungs. His whole body went rigid. Data flashed across his vision in unreadable glyphs. His body felt like it was being inverted, like every molecule was being turned inside-out and reassembled by horny, confused aliens.
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU—"
His scream vanished into the void.
There was no sound. No sight. Just endless, pulsing blue.
Then nothing.
Q: Which perks would you choose?