Retreat? What retreat—he meant dropping out of school, of course! At this moment, Shen was already acting with his life on the line. How could he possibly give up now? He immediately stated his request firmly, "Mother dear, I want to drop out!"
"Brat! Dare say that one more time?" Before Aiko even realized it herself, she saw Kazushi grab Shen by the collar and lift him off the ground.
"Aiko, bring me the rod!" Kazushi said while giving Aiko a meaningful glance.
Years of teamwork made the married couple highly in sync. Aiko took over from Kazushi and began earnestly pleading with Shen, "We can't hit him! What if this kid runs away from home? It'll become a laughingstock for the entire Konoha village! Since he doesn't want to go to school, let him be! Even if he becomes a good-for-nothing playboy heir, I accept it."
Kazushi understood Aiko's meaning—keep an eye out in case Shen tried to run off.
Shen also understood Aiko's hidden meaning, but under these circumstances, he had to fight back logically. After all, once a wise internet sage once said, "Keep pushing! You've got this!"
Ahem... If he kept going like this, things might get a little too on-brand.
"Father dear, since I can't learn taijutsu anyway, getting beaten up at school might as well make me a useless nobody," Shen pretended to be clueless.
"This move again? The kid really has grown up," Aiko thought before giving Kazushi a knowing look, signaling him to play the bad cop role.
Kazushi caught on instantly. With an extremely serious expression, he warned Shen sternly, "I don't care whether you end up as a nobody or not, but a real man must keep his word. You insisted on entering the ninja academy before, so what you say goes—now you want to quit? Don't think you can just change your mind freely!"
"Pfft, here comes the rap breakdown—are we gonna hear a skr next or what?" internally complaining, Shen outwardly retorted, "That was when I was immature, wanting something meant chasing after it. Now my reputation is ruined; even if I wanted to attend, no way it'd work out! Skr!"
The Uchiha couple blinked in confusion. What reputation? And what the heck is "skr"?
Watching silently from the side like a bystander enjoying melon seeds, Fugaku found himself confused. Although he understood every single word they said, why didn't their conversation make sense when strung together? Was he actually adopted? How come he alone couldn't comprehend anything within their family of four? Fugaku scratched his head, completely lost.
"What reputation got damaged exactly? Brat, what else have you done?"
Unable to imagine what other outrageous thing the boy might have done, Kazushi stepped forward menacingly, interrogating fiercely.
"I dueled the young master of the Senju Clan and lost, plus he's gay. I'm afraid he might try something with me."
Shen cleverly pinned the blame on Nawaki. Anyway, tomorrow when the Konoha Daily came out, everyone in the village would know about that nonsense. The clever guy figured—let my buddy take the heat, save myself first!
This time Fugaku finally understood. So this was all about dropping out? His younger brother still remained too naive. Compared to when he studied back then—"romantically appealing to both genders"—he received countless love letters from adorable boys. Naturally, among them, he'd only choose girls. As for being adult-like, he claimed complete confusion.
The Uchiha couple fell deeper into bewilderment. No wonder—the Senju Clan definitely had issues. Looks like those old rumors about Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha having questionable history weren't baseless. Seems like such affairs were indeed part of Senju Clan tradition!
"Cough, cough, cough!" Kazushi was the first to regain consciousness, his violent coughing snapping everyone back to reality.
Shen thought this move of "diverting disaster elsewhere" had been played brilliantly, so he quickly seized the moment: "So you see, Ninja Academy is really dangerous. Surely none of you would want me stuck there for five whole years?"
Kazushi quickly shot his usually cunningly resourceful wife a glance, urging her to come up with a plan fast.
Aiko stared at Shen intensely until her eyes began to feel dry, but still found nothing suspicious about him. She guessed this matter probably wasn't some exaggerated rumor.
The eldest son of the Senju Clan being involved in a same-sex rumor? That headline would top Konoha's trending news for a whole month!
After prolonged consideration, Aiko looked at Kazushi helplessly—male-female relationships she understood, but male-male? She silently declared this question completely beyond her capability, then gave him a meaningful look saying, "You handle it."
"What am I supposed to do?" Kazushi felt terribly wronged in his heart. How could he possibly know how to deal with same-sex relationships? Without related experience, such matters were genuinely difficult to address.
"Um, can I say something?" Fugaku, who had been watching the drama unfold like an eager spectator, couldn't help raising his hand to speak. He figured he was the only one here with any real "experience" when it came to guys liking other guys.
"Go ahead Fugaku, say whatever you want." Since no good solutions presented themselves, Kazushi decided to hear him out, trusting this clearly-featured young man with thick eyebrows.
Approaching the three confidently, Fugaku offered his suggestion: "It's perfectly normal for men to have feelings for each other. When I was studying, I received quite a few love letters from underclassmen. Kids are immature; they'll understand right and wrong when they grow up. If you don't like him, just ignore him—kids' interests fade quickly. Otherwise, tell his parents; that definitely works!"
"Exactly! They're both just five-year-olds!" (x2)
The Uchiha couple had been accustomed not to treating Shen as a child, completely ignoring the fact he was actually only five years old. After hearing Fugaku's opinion, enlightenment dawned upon them and soon they'd reached an understanding.
"Can't believe my bro just threw me under the bus!"
Shen mentally groaned. Looking at Fugaku's honest appearance with thick eyebrows, he hadn't expected the guy to be this untrustworthy.
Quickly shaking his head, he tried to deny: "But the whole of Konoha will hear about this! What about my reputation? And what about..."
"Don't worry son," Aiko interrupted with a sweet-(seeming) smile, "Tonight we'll have your father drop by Konoha News and throw a bit of cash around to trash that Senju brat. We'll paint you as the victim—people always side with the underdog anyway. Then through continuous coverage, we can easily shift the focus."
Wasn't this exactly Shen's past-life PR strategy—buying trending topics, blacking opponents, whitewashing oneself? Anyway, ordinary people just wanted juicy gossip and entertainment; who would bother seeking the real truth?
Faced with Aiko's "PR strategy," Shen now stood completely speechless. At this moment, he became absolutely certain: his mother's personality was definitely sinisterly manipulative deep inside.
"I just want to try to speak up: 'But what if someone finds out?'"
"What can they do if they find out? Just discredit them with some cash before they get desperate and act recklessly," Aiko retorted.
"But my reputation..."
"So what? Skip school for a few days. Stir things up first, and once this storm passes, everything will return to normal!" Aiko struck back with her second rebuttal.
"What if the Senju Clan gets involved?"
"Let them come. The Uchiha aren't pushovers. We'll shut down anyone who dares show up!" Aiko completed her three-part verbal counterattack.
Shen retreated with an honorable record of zero wins out of three.
After winning the argument, Aiko turned her smug face toward Kazushi like she was expecting a reward—it gave Shen chills down his spine.
"Well then, don't wait for me for lunch. I need to go handle things at the newspaper office first," Kazushi patted Aiko on the shoulder approvingly before leaving home.
"No way! All I did—was it for nothing?"
Inside, Shen cried out bitterly, "Fine then! Since you leave me no choice, I, Shen Uchiha, won't be acting like a human anymore!"
And so on September 1st, in the 25th year of Konoha, Shen Uchiha officially declared within himself—he would no longer act like a human being.
<><><><><><><><>
Thank you for reading! Your support will keep me updating!
~ Every 50 Powerstones = **4 Bonus Chapters** on the weekend!