I took out my diary. The one I wrote in class 9.
Four Years Ago: April 2019
New Session, New Classes, New Books, New Curriculum, and absolutely - new me.
That's a resolution of every teenager out there in the universe, to be a better version of what they are. I have one too. To make an ACADEMIC COMEBACK this session. It's quite common in India, especially in middle-class households. I was average till 8th Standard, and literally, my parents gave up on me. So why not give studying a try?
Anyways.
As I entered the class, I sat near my best friend, who had saved a spot for me. Lucky to find a gem like her. Soon our classes started, and the day ended as if nothing had happened.
Now, I reached home and took out my planner to see that my evening was scheduled with nothing. Of course, who gives homework on the first day?
I thought of watching some "academic comeback" video, and took notes on it.
And the first thing it told me was: 'Stay ahead in your lessons.'
I finished the video and took out my books to study.
At first, I felt a little dizzy. The letters kept spinning and were getting congested. Then a little later, I found it interesting. I had started with English. Maybe the stories had kept me intrigued. Soon, I completed a chapter. For the other subjects, I had read the chapters, watched educational videos and gradually understood each and every topic.
Soon, I began answering in class. Being the class achiever, I had made a lot of friends. Gradually, the confidence turned into pride, and I started neglecting my studies. My best friend cut ties with me, too.
I pretended not to care.
The summer vacations arrived. We planned to go to my grandmother's place. As I reached there, the first thing I did was go to my cousin's place and go shopping with her. She was 12 years older than me and gave me anything I asked for. I started looking for stationery, novels and comics.
As I reached home, I started watching TV without putting my things in place. My mother, a complete clean freak, yelled at me for being irresponsible. Then she said, "How come you do well in your class when you are such an irresponsible child?"
Now, this hurt me. Or maybe my ego. And I yelled back at her. Why should I bear all the pain? And again I pretended not to care.
Days passed. I didn't study anything other than to complete my homework. Soon the school started, and we were having tests.
I ignored everybody in school. I was quite attentive in class after a long break. But as soon as I reached home, I completed my homework and started scrolling on my phone, Other than studying for my test.
Soon, after completing all the tests, my best friend turned out to be the achiever. I was jealous. Of course I was. I tried so hard to make an academic comeback. And she took it all away.
The next day, my mom came over to check on me. I was trying to read my chapters again, and I felt dizzy.
"You okay?" she asked
"Yes", I replied.
"You had taken a long break during the vacations. Had you studied, your scores would have been better."
"Yep, I agree."
"I'll be going to your grandma's place again tomorrow. She's sick. I'll go there for a week."
"Okay!"
"Study well"
"Hmm"
And the next day. The house felt empty.
While returning from school, I was drenched in the rain. In the evening, I caught a cold, which worsened through the night.
My father came running to me and gave me medicines. My fever lasted for 3 days.
At dinner, my father, looking at my sulking face, asked, "What's wrong, kiddo?"
"Due to this fever, I have missed a lot of chapters and have to catch up a lot in school. I don't understand how I will complete it all in three weeks. We have our Half-Yearly Exams coming up." I replied, tensed.
"Well, well, well. Time waits for none, does it? You see, you should have been careful from the start. I saw you were making progress, but your pride and overconfidence brought you down. Listen, kid. Your education is complete trash until and unless you are a good human being. It's good that you are confident, but if you think that nobody is going to score better than you, then you're in the biggest misconception, dear. Learning is something which does not have criteria or limits. It is for all at different levels as well as in different categories. Now that you have realised it, I guess it would be better to stop overthinking and get back to work."
After dinner, I lay on my bed thinking. Watching videos, making notes, then studying every topic- all meant for nothing. I thought about my parents, teachers and friends- all with disappointed faces. Then my best friend. I wanted to apologise to everybody. Even if it's too late.
The next day, the first thing I did was apologise to my parents. I apologised to my best friend and made up to her as I reached school. We started studying together. She taught me the topics which I didn't understand. On the other hand, I also studied some chapters by myself.
Again, the exams were held. This time, I ranked 2nd in my class.
Years passed by. We both studied together, joined tuitions, and took extra classes. We had ups and downs. Either she was the topper, or I and sometimes somebody else. But that didn't make us feel harsh on ourselves.
Present.
I called my best friend, who was currently preparing for her First semester examination. We talked for a while. As I ended the call, I took out my books to study for my First Semester examinations (which were around the corner), while I munched away on the chocolate wafers sent by my mother.