A long time ago, the angry young Xander you already
know and love was working as a waiter/bartender at the
Fruit Bat & Crocodile Caf� in Atlanta. It was a nice
joint. Catered to the after movie, after theatre crowd
- we got busy at ten or so, and stayed that way until
closing at 3AM. Needless to say, it fit my night-owl
lifestyle perfectly.
I'd been there for a bit more than a year when Lauren
started. Now, if you've tended bar or waited, so you
know how incestuous a restaurant "family" is. Everybody
is fucking everybody all the time (usually drunk as the
sun comes up). When someone new enters the mix, there's
practically a stampede. Well, as it happens, I slipped
in first to meet our new executive chef.
Mondays were usually dead - no theatre, no symphony -
so it was a shock when the night positively exploded.
We were slammed from around eight until after midnight,
so everyone on the small staff was totally beat when
the time came for me to line up the shooters for our
shift drink after the rush. Everyone in the front of
the house knocked theirs back, and I poured an extra
one to carry into the kitchen (and another for myself,
natch').
I made my way to the back and found Lauren cleaning the
pasta machine. We talked for a bit and I handed her the
drink - a kamikaze, probably. We clicked glasses and I
took a good look at her as she drank it down without
even a wince.
Lauren wasn't traditionally attractive. She had this
total tomboy vibe that I was into, though. Great eyes
that were gray and catlike and hadn't seen any makeup
for a long, long time. Her breasts were very small, and
her figure wasn't very womanly, but God she had great
arms. Sinewy and covered in a multitude of tattoos. She
had a number of piercings as well, but it would be a
long time before I knew that. Her shoulder length brown
hair stuck to her head - it was hot as hell in the
kitchen.
"I'm gonna go down to Dark Horse when we're done here,"
I said. It was an after hours tavern that catered to
restaurant and club people after they were off. "Want
to come." Lauren hitched up an eyebrow at me.
"I'm pretty beat," she said.
"How about some other night? We're both off on
Wednesday." Now Lauren actually smiled. Let out a
laugh.
"Like a date?" I grinned. Nodded. She kept the smile
wide. "You know I'm a lesbian, right?" I blinked at
her. I *should* have known. Generally, I was pretty
good about being able to tell these things. But not
this time. I stammered some lame apology, but she
laughed it off and said she took it as a compliment.
Fly, fly your thoughts...
A year passes. My grungy rock band breaks up (over a
girl, of course). I decide that the life of a bartender
isn't enough for me and apply to a bunch of colleges.
Every one but Brown accepts me, and having read Donna
Tartt's "The Secret History" I choose a little liberal
arts school in New England with a great financial aid
package.
Over this time, Lauren and I become great friends of a
kind I hadn't had before. She became my girl-buddy. The
one woman I could sit around doing shots with and
discussing my various sexual exploits. We'd both slept
with a few of the same women at the caf�, and sometimes
(terrible, I know) we would compare notes. We were
pretty close in the acquaintance way that co-workers
can be. So by the time she threw out the bait to see if
I'd bite, I already had one foot out the door. I
suspect she waited until then just for that reason.
We were at the bar after another busy night in the
middle of the ungodly hot summer of 1993. One by one,
the other waiters left for the night. The manager was
in back counting receipts and only Lauren and I were
left out front. We were shooting the shit about one
thing or another when she grinned at me and said, "you
know what I really want to do, Xander?"
"Another shooter?" She laughed. Nodded, and I poured.
"But also." she waited until I leaned on the bar across
from her. "I'd really like to fuck some straight boy
with my strap on." I can only imagine what my face must
have looked like. I drained my shot. Poured another.
"Reeeally." I milked the word for all it was worth.
"Yeah. Always have. It just seems, I don't know, hot.
If I found the right guy, I'd even let him fuck me."
She held my eyes, making perfectly clear that the
straight boy she wanted for this little experiment was
me. I stared back at her, debate raging in my head. I
was as far from homophobic as you could be. Had even
had a gay experience or two, but there's this social
taboo about a macho guy taking it up the butt. All the
same, the stirring in my black trousers was really all
the answer I needed.
Besides, Lauren was a friend. And I still thought she
was attractive. And a good bartender wants to make the
customer happy.
"You know," I said, "that sounds like it could be
interesting. Especially if a nice dinner and a lot of
wine was involved." Lauren laughed, and we finally made
a date for our next mutual night off at her place.
The dinner *was* nice. I've never liked seafood much,
but Lauren made this dish with mussels, garlic and
white wine that was out of this world. We laughed and
talked all through the meal just like a regular date.
And drank, me much more than her. First a cocktail,
then a bottle and a half of wine. Then another
cocktail. I was getting trashed. And desperately horny.
Lauren was wearing an outfit as close to sexy as she
ever came. Tailored black slacks, a diaphanous shirt
that was mildly see-through. I could make out her
breasts through the pale fabric - small, steel hoops
pierced each nipple. More interesting, he underarms
were completely unshaved, bushy, dark hair clearly
apparent. Somehow, the violation of this social taboo
was a massive turn on.
When dinner was done, her demeanor changed. She sat
close to me as we drank, her leg brushing against mine
(bringing a pleasurable reaction along with it below my
belt). Still, when she bit her lip said we should move
to the couch, a rush of fear dropped my stomach. I
remembered what was coming, and it scared me.
Lauren took my hand and led me across her Spartan
apartment. The hardwood floors creaked under my feet
and it seemed that time had somehow slowed. Her couch
was red, and she released my hand as she approached it.
She flipped on the stereo - the Cocteau Twins - then
moved to the coffee table where a black sheet sat
folded. She turned to me and smiled as she flipped it
in the air, unfurling it. My heart pumped faster as it
drifted down over the couch.
"You sure you want to do this?" she asked. I *wasn't*
sure, but that lack of certainty turned me on even
more. Her eyes flicked down to my pants and up again -
she could see it.
"Hey," I said. "You made dinner. I owe you something."
I grinned at her and Lauren plunked down on the couch.
She twirled her finger in the air.
"Why don't you take your clothes off," she asked, but
it wasn't really a question. I took a deep breath. She
was in charge, something of a reversal from my usual
encounter. I pulled off my black t-shirt, unzipped my
jeans while kicking off my shoes. She watched with
glistening eyes. When I was finally nude, she said,
"Dicks are so funny."
"Been a while?" I asked. She patted the couch beside
her, gesturing me to sit.
"A *long* while," she answered. I came over and sat, my
erection bobbing almost comically. I saw what was under
the sheet on the coffee table: a tube of KY Jelly. I
stared at it and felt what I can only describe as a hot
flash, my face growing warm with dread and excitement.
Lauren leaned forward and looked at me. Silently, she
ran her hand over my chest, letting the hair run
between her lithe fingers. It was hot, a single fan in
the window serving as the only coolant in the room.
Keeping her fingers moving over my chest, she leaned in
and kissed me hard. Almost too hard. She pressed her
lips into my own, her tongue darting in. I tasted wine
and cigarettes. I reached up to run my hands over her
body, when she pulled back with a laugh.
"Stubbly," she said, and it occurred to me that most of
the people she kissed didn't have a five o'clock shadow
or a soul patch at the base of their lip. I stroked the
soft hair under her arms in response.
"Uh-huh," I answered. She smiled, took her shirt off
and said, "see for yourself." She raised her arm and I
leaned in, licking the thick, bushy hair. I'd never
been with a woman with thick hair before, and I
devoured her like I was going down. She seemed to like
it, her breathing growing labored and her hands
stroking my chest, my back, my legs.
I moved around to her tiny breasts. The nipples her
hard and dark, and I took one of the hoops in my teeth
and pulled lightly. She responded with a moan like a
purr and told me to bite harder. I was happy to comply,
especially when her hand found my cock.
She pulled on it awkwardly, out of practice but it
still felt good. I moved downward from her breast,
licking and biting. She released my dick and pulled my
face to her other nipple. "Not yet," she said, so I
tugged on the other piercing. Licked and bit until it
was as hard as its twin.
Lauren raised her far arm, and I strained forward to
devour it as I had the other. "Ride me," she commanded.
I climbed astride her, the opposite position from the
way I usually was in a situation like this. I straddled
her thighs as I licked her underarm. She smelled
faintly of sweat and Ivory soap - 99 and 44 one
hundredths percent pure - and grew very aware of a
pressure against my ass. I moved back to her mouth.
Kissed her hard.
"Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy
to see me," I asked. She reached down and pulled on my
cock, smiling.
"Mmm-hmm," she whispered. "Wanna see?" I wasn't sure if
I did, but I scooted back on toward her knees
nonetheless. Reaching down to her trousers, I unbuckled
the belt. Unbuttoned the pants, smiling nervously. I
was so nervous that my cock began to dwindle despite
her awkward attentions. I unzipped her pants.
"Grab it," she whispered, watching my face carefully.
"Grab my big fucking dick." I shoved my hand down under
her waistband and felt it. The latex dildo was soft. In
any objective sense, I don't think it was *that* big,
but it felt monstrous in my hand. As if by instinct, I
stroked the inorganic thing in her pants and she
reacted at though it were real, moaning gutturally and
barring her teeth. "That's it," she said. "Pull it
out."
She released my cock and reached behind her, hooking
her arms over the back of the couch. God, she smelled
good. I pulled the dildo out of her pants and looked
down at it. It was molded like a real cock - veins, a
head - obsidian black and warm. "Jerk it," she
whispered. And I laughed nervously, losing my character
in this little role-play.
Lauren reach up and held my face with both hands. "Shh,
baby. Come on, Xander. Stay with me." I closed my eyes
for a moment, remembering how sexy this situation was
and trying to forget that this was my friend wearing an
absurd strap-on penis. I took a breath.
I looked back down and began to run my hand up and down
the phallus. "That's it," Lauren cooed. "Jerk that
fucking dick. Jerk it."
There was an edge of needy violence in her voice that
turned me right back on. I increased the speed of my
hand, looking back at her. Though there were no nerves
connecting this latex thing to her, she threw her arms
back and watched my hands working on her as though she
felt nothing but gritty pleasure. And that turned me
on, too.
"Suck it," she said. "Suck my big cock." I swallowed,
getting into the fantasy now. For whatever reason,
Lauren was turned on to the notion of this macho,
straight kid being the girl for her. I got up off her
and kneeled down between her legs. I reached up to
grasp the waist of her pants and she lifted herself up
slightly so I could pull them down to her ankles. As I
did this, she reached down with her own hand and
stroked the dildo idly, as I had in similar situations
many time. Another big turn-on. "Suck it," she demanded
again.
On my knees, I looked at the harness attaching the
strap on to her, at her thick pubic hair beneath.
Lauren didn't shave her legs, and a downy, brown hair
covered them. I leaned forward to the fake cock. She
still held it around the base. "Lick it first," she
said, and I did.
I ran my tongue up the underside of the black dildo,
the faint aroma of the latex not overriding the
wonderfully pungent scent of Lauren's pussy rising from
below. I licked around the base, back up over the top
and around the head. Her hand was still gripping the
base and after a while she shook the cock, smacking it
against my face and growing.
"Suck my cock, baby. Suck it deep," she said. I almost
laughed again, the nervousness and absurdity almost
taking me away. But I didn't. I opened my mouth and
took it in. "Yeah. Yeah, Xander. That's it," she said
as I bobbed up and down on it. After a moment, she
released the base and planted both of her hands on the
back of my head, running her fingers through my hair.
Then, on a downward stroke she pushed. The dildo
touched the back of my throat and I gagged, pulling
back. Lauren groaned. "Take it," she whispered, and
pushed again. I was totally into this strange scene now
and took as much as I could. I moved up and down, and
then when she pushed I went down as far as possible and
held the black cock.
I was almost at the base and I gagged. Coughed around
it, a thick patina of slobbery spit running down the
dildo, over her harness and into Lauren's thick pubic
hair. I coughed again, eyes watering and she held my
head fast. I squeezed her thighs as she pushed up from
the couch, fucking my mouth. Understand, I was much
bigger than she was and could have ended the discomfort
at any time. But there was this weird release in being
totally subservient to her.
Finally, she pulled my head back and I coughed deeply.
My face was a mess. It was covered in drool, my eyes
streaked with tears. Lauren leaned forward and kissed
me hard. I put my arms around her, rubbing up and down
her slick back. Then she leaned forward even further
and I suckled at her tits while she reached behind me.
When she leaned back again, she held the lube in her
hand.
I stared up at her from between her legs with wide
eyes, nervousness overtaking excitement again. Keeping
her eyes locked on mine, she flipped open the lid of
the tube. She and took my hand and turned it palm up.
Squirted a huge gob of the slick, viscous liquid into
my hand. "Stroke it," she said. "Stroke that big dick."
Looking down at it, it seemed infinitely more gigantic
than even when Lauren had been cramming it down the
back of my throat. The sweat standing out on my fevered
skin ran cold. I ran my hand with the cold fluid over
it slowly, and the dildo glistened in the soft light.
As my hand moved up and down, Lauren whispered,
"faster. Jerk it." I did, and even as my hand moved,
the skin on my ass seemed more alive.
Still working my hand on the fake cock, Lauren pulled
me up to straddle her. I put my weight on my knees and
she kept her eyes on me as I stared down at the thing
that would soon be inside me. My breathing grew ragged,
and surprisingly, my own cock came back to life. The
dildo was slick in my hand.
"Come on. Ride that fucking cock, you slut. Ride it."
Her teeth were barred like some feral thing, and that
turned me on. I bit my lip, a feminine gesture, and
rose on my knees, jostling forward. My cock touched the
warm skin of Lauren's flat belly. "Come on," she said
urgently. I reached around behind me and took the dildo
in my hand, guiding it.
"Will it hurt," I asked nonsensically. Lauren looked up
into my face, her face still a blend of sexual heat and
deep, hidden anger.
"Fuck it," she said. I placed it against the sensitive
opening of my asshole. Rubbed it against it. Then I sat
back. At first, I could not make it go in. I gritted my
teeth and pushed down, but it just slid away.
"Come on. Fuck me. Do it," Lauren demanded. She reached
down and squeezed my balls, gentle but urgent. I placed
the head of the cock - Lauren's cock - at my ass again
and moaned as I pushed.then I gasped.
It was in. There was a sensation that's difficult to
describe - it was like *opening*. Coming alive. I
groaned. It *did* hurt, like a mild burning around the
flesh of my asshole and now I was gritting my teeth. I
sank a bit deeper, though, and pulled back so just the
head was inside.
"That's it," Lauren whispered. He eyes had the look of
someone half here, half somewhere else. "Take it. Take
it." She was exorcising something, I think. At that
moment, though, all I wanted to do was please her. All
I wanted was to be fucked by her.
When I adjusted and the burning feeling passed, I took
the dildo deeper again. Down a little more, then all
the way up. I went down again and found this *spot*. I
let out a loud moan that seemed to come from my
stomach. It was amazing. I put my hands on my thighs
and began rocking, totally speared. I'd never felt as
*full*, and Lauren's black dick was touching me
somewhere I'd never been touched before.
"Yes," Lauren groaned. "Do it. Do it." I was pouring
sweat, and as I rode her my cock rubbed against her
belly button piercing, arousing me further. I took a
bit more of the dildo, gritting my teeth and groaning
so loudly that the neighbors probably got quite a sound
show. Just when I thought I was going to come right
then on her belly, Lauren pushed me off.
"Lie back, baby," she whispered. She was breathing hard
now, too. I climbed off her and leaned back on the
couch, and she kneeled between my legs. She poured more
of the jelly on her own hand, rubbed it over the dildo
and then reached forward to fuck my ass with her
fingers. I was really into it now.
Lauren pushed my legs back and I held her there. She
teased my asshole with the cock, and I said words that
came unbidden, words I never thought I would hear
myself say. "Yes. Fuck me," I said.
She pushed inside me and I let out a cry. With her in
control, she fucked me deeper and I was riding the
razor's edge of pain. She stayed on her knees for a
time, watching the dildo go in and out of me, eyes
flicking up to read my face now and again. Then she
leaned down, her slick torso meeting my own. She put my
legs over her shoulders and began to fucking *plow* me.
I totally gave over to the sensation of the experience.
Her smell and my own. The taste of her sweat. The full
sensation in my bowels and the undulating pressure and
the synthetic veins worked my asshole. She locked her
mouth on mine as she fucked me, our moans blending in
each other's mouths.
All this while, her stomach rubbed my needy cock, and
finally it was enough. I came hard, maybe as hard as I
ever have. Jets of my semen lubricated our bodies as
she had her way with me. Her own rhythm slowed, then
stopped. We lay still for a moment, the pressure inside
me both tremendous and aggravating. Her face next to my
ear, Lauren laughed, the shaking jostling inside me.
When she slowly pulled out of me, I felt oddly vacant.
I laid breathing for a moment, watching her undress
with a smile on my face. She pulled her shoes off, her
trousers. The strap-on shimmered wetly and she took it
off. Already, I could feel myself getting turned on
again.
Lauren plopped down on the couch across from me and
asked me how long it would take me to get doing again.
"Not long," I answered. Now she looked nervous at the
prospect of being fucked by a man. She started to play
with herself and I did the same, becoming hard again
pretty quickly. As I watched her watching me though, it
occurred to me that as much as I wanted to be inside
her, as much as I wanted to taste her, Lauren really
was a lesbian.
"You don't want to do this at all," I said with a half-
smile. She sputtered for a moment, saying that we
agreed and all that, but I cut her off. "Look. I had a
great time, Lauren. But.listen. Just make me a tape of
you and one of your girlfriends."
She laughed and threw a pillow across at me. "Straight
guys. You're all the same." But she looked relieved.
It's funny, in any regular story this would be the
point where I just gather my clothes and leave.
Instead, though, Lauren and I cuddled the night away
naked as jaybirds and watching a Dennis Miller special
on HBO. We fell asleep under a cover on the couch, my
come dried on both of our stomachs, and perfectly
contented with the way things had gone.
I was sore the next morning and told her so. Lauren
laughed, making breakfast.
"What can I say," she answered. "I got a big dick." I
looked back at the coffee table. She was right.
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