Chapter 74: When Mars Slams into Earth**
Wu Yifan and Liu Wei had thought their act was foolproof—good enough to dupe anyone. But Liu Qingyang saw through it in an instant. They exchanged a panicked glance, already preparing to back down.
Liu Wei forced a weak smile, her eyes misting over as if she might cry at any second. "Dad, what are you talking about? I don't get it. 'Pretending' to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Yifan *is* my boyfriend. Why would I need to pretend? Do you really think your sweet little daughter would do something like that?"
Wu Yifan felt that three imaginary black lines appeared on his forehead. *She's a pro.* He was merely an amateur compared to her—she could summon tears on command, shift emotions in the blink of an eye. Mu Xiaoyao, for all her cleverness, was nothing next to Liu Wei's acting chops.
Liu Qingyang smiled, holding up four fingers. "Four reasons."
"Four reasons?" Liu Wei blinked, caught off guard.
"First," he said, ticking off a finger, "you claim to have known each other for half a year, but every move and word since you walked in has felt stiff—like you're performing in a bad TV drama. There's no natural flow, no ease. It's obvious you rehearsed your lines beforehand."
"That… that doesn't count!" Liu Wei argued weakly.
"True, it's not conclusive on its own—just a clue," he conceded, moving to the second finger. "Second: I mentioned earlier that Xiao Wu doesn't know who I am. Impressive, really, for a young man. But if you've been together for six months, how could he *not* know my identity? Don't you talk about your families when you're together?"
"W-we believe in free love!" Liu Wei stammered, her head hanging low in embarrassment. "We don't like mixing in other stuff. So we only talk about things we enjoy—never our families. Is that so wrong?"
"Third," Liu Qingyang pressed, ignoring her excuse, "you've barely looked at each other since you walked in. That's not how couples in love act. Even when you held hands, it was stiff—unnatural."
"I… we…" Liu Wei fell silent, defeated.
"Fourth," he finished, "when your mother mentioned those three things you did, Xiao Wu looked shocked. That makes no sense. After six months together, he should know your personality. How could he come here knowing nothing about you?" He leaned back, adding, "Alone, none of these prove anything. But together? I'm 80% sure you're faking it."
Wu Yifan clapped softly, impressed. "Uncle, your观察力 is amazing. You saw right through us. I'm genuinely impressed!" He wasn't just flattering—this man, the director of the Anti-Corruption Bureau, had a sharpness that cut through their charade like a knife. No wonder he held such a position.
Chen Liyun chuckled. "Wei'er, we just wanted you to meet someone. If you hit it off, great. If not, no big deal. Why go to such lengths? The minute we told you about the blind date, I saw that look in your eye—I knew you'd cook up some scheme. And here we are."
"W-who says I schemed? I was just… bored. Wanted someone to hang out with," Liu Wei mumbled, her cheeks burning.
Wu Yifan broke into a cold sweat. *Hang out with?* One minute he was her "boyfriend," the next he was just a boredom reliever. Ouch.
"Are you worried we'd force you to marry whoever we picked?" Liu Qingyang shook his head, amused. "You know your own temper. What ordinary guy would dare date you? And you're not getting any younger—it's time to think about settling down. That's why we set this up: to make you consider your future. Stop running wild. Besides, a blind date is just a chance to meet someone. Maybe you'll like him… though he might get scared of *you*."
"Who'd like *him* anyway?" Liu Wei pouted, crossing her arms.
"Dressed like that? Probably no one," Liu Qingyang teased, feigning sternness.
"I-I dressed this way to annoy him!" Liu Wei shot back, suddenly grinning. She bounded over to her father, clinging to his arm like a little kid. "See? Just to bug him!"
"Annoy him all you want, but don't make the Liu family look rude. We can't afford to lose face," Liu Qingyang said, softening.
"Who likes him? If he says I do, I'll smash his head in!" Liu Wei huffed.
Liu Qingyang and Chen Liyun exchanged a look, both smiling wryly. *What man would put up with our fiery daughter?*
Seeing his chance to escape, Wu Yifan stood up. "Uncle, Aunt, if that's all, I should head out. Thanks for having me!" He'd never wanted to be part of this charade, and now that it was falling apart, he was ready to bolt—preferably to his bed for a long nap.
Liu Qingyang waved him down. "Xiao Wu, don't rush off. Even if it's fake, maybe it could turn real. I see the way Wei'er acts around you—better than she acts around most guys. There's hope."
"Dad! What are you saying? I don't like him!" Liu Wei whined, her face turning pink.
"Huh, I never said you did. You just admitted it," Liu Qingyang shot back, grinning.
Liu Wei stamped her foot, squirming like a toddler. "Dad! You're impossible!"
Chen Liyun laughed. "Your dad just wants you to seize a good opportunity—don't let someone you like slip away." She checked her watch, frowning. "Strange. Old Song said they'd be here by ten. Did something happen? Should I call?"
"Old Song's boy is a troublemaker—always fighting, causing chaos. He drives Old Song crazy. Probably had a hard time dragging him here," Liu Qingyang chuckled.
"Old Song? Who's Old Song?" Liu Wei asked, curious.
"Old Song is just Old Song," Liu Qingyang said, mysterious.
Liu Wei glanced at Wu Yifan, silently wondering who her blind date could be.
Fifteen minutes later, a commotion erupted outside the door.
"Dammit, Dad! You're such a hypocrite! Springing this blind date on me without warning—you want me to drop dead from exhaustion? I don't care what you say, I'm not marrying that girl in there!" a voice yelled.
"You ungrateful brat! Do you think this is easy for me?" another, gruffer voice shot back. "I finally found you a nice girl—pretty, gentle—and you act like this? You *will* meet her today, whether you like it or not. Otherwise, I'm disowning you!"
"Disown me then! I'll change my last name, let the Song family die out. See how you face your dead father and ancestors!"
"You naughty boy! How dare you say that? I'll slap you senseless!"
Wu Yifan and Liu Wei froze, their faces draining of color. They knew that voice—the whiny, arrogant tone.
Song Mingjie.
Old Song? *That* Old Song? Liu Qingyang's "Old Song" was Song Mingjie's father?
This was a disaster. A collision of titans. Who could've guessed Liu Wei's blind date was that fat little thug?
Liu Wei turned on Wu Yifan, teeth gritted. "Did you plan this? You knew it was that fatty, came to watch me make a fool of myself? I should've known you two are in cahoots—both scumbags. I'm such an idiot for dragging you here!"
Wu Yifan wiped sweat from his brow. "How would I know who your date was? Miss Liu, maybe think before you speak. It's like they say—"
"What?" Liu Wei snapped.
"Big breasts, small brain."
"Wu Yifan! You dead man! What did you say? Say it again!" Liu Wei's eyes flashed.
"I said your chest is… impressive," he backtracked, grinning.
"Finally noticed?" she huffed, though a faint, proud smirk tugged at her lips. Women *did* care about that sort of thing.
Liu Qingyang bit back a laugh. He'd heard the Song boy was a handful, but this was beyond belief. Noticing Wu Yifan and Liu Wei's stricken faces, he asked, "You two know the Song boy?"
"No!" they yelped in unison.
*Bang!*
The door flew open, kicked off its hinges.
"Where's that girl? Let me see her. Let's get one thing straight—I don't want no non-virgin. If she *is* a virgin, I'll think about it. She better look like Maggie Cheung, have a body like Alyssa Chia, and boobs bigger than Cecilia Cheung's! Otherwise, forget it!"
Song Mingjie swaggered in, his small eyes scanning the room. He wore a garish checkered T-shirt, baggy boxers, and giant plastic slippers—looking more like a street thug than a proper suitor. His voice boomed, loud as thunder.
Liu Wei's jaw dropped. Wu Yifan winced.
Mars had slammed into Earth, all right. And the explosion was going to be spectacular.