**Chapter 65: Pretending to Be a Boyfriend**
"Whoa, Wu Yifan! You're the one who invited me, so why are you shoveling food like there's no tomorrow? Save some for me, will you?"
"Wu Yifan, pass that drumstick over here! Otherwise, I swear I'll fight you for it!"
"Wu Yifan, have you *really* not eaten in three days? I've never seen a man eat so rudely. You're hoarding all the good stuff—are you some kind of starving ghost reincarnated?"
"Wu Yifan, people are staring! Could you act civilized? We're supposed to be modern, educated adults. Looking at you… I don't even know what to say."
Liu Wei was this close to losing her temper. Wu Yifan had insisted on treating her to dinner, but his eating speed was nothing short of alarming—like a whirlwind sweeping through the dishes. Of the dozen or so courses, half had vanished into his stomach already. She'd only managed to grab a few bites by moving fast, practically lunging for the plate. If she hadn't, she'd probably be leaving this restaurant with an empty stomach.
Wu Yifan pretended not to understand, his face creased in feigned confusion. "Miss Liu Wei, what are you on about? I'm eating too fast? Really? I hadn't noticed. I'm just a straightforward guy—no dilly-dallying. Unlike you, picking at your food like it's poison. Don't you realize that's bad for the restaurant? Other customers might think their dishes taste terrible!" As he lectured, he tore off a drumstick, tossed it into his mouth, and spat out a clean bone seconds later.
"You—you…!" Liu Wei's face turned a shade of green.
Was this man a bottomless pit? How could he possibly eat so much? Men usually acted all refined around her, barely daring to make a sound while eating, terrified of annoying her. But this guy? He was a walking contradiction—equal parts baffling and infuriating. Had he escaped from Jurassic Park or something?
Ding Shihan, sitting across the table, was laughing so hard her sides hurt. In all her years, she'd never seen a man and woman bicker like this over food. Their personalities were简直 (jiǎnzhí, absolutely) made for each other—like a match made in chaos. Even though she'd run around earlier and her stomach was growling, she ate slowly, elegantly, a stark contrast to their messy, competitive feasting.
Finally, Liu Wei rolled her eyes, plopped her chopsticks down, and raised her hands in surrender. "Wu Yifan, I give up. I really do. I didn't drag you here just to mooch off your dinner. I need a favor. If you agree, *I'll* pay for this meal. Deal?"
"You'll pay?" Wu Yifan's eyes widened. "Is the sun rising in the west today? Am I dreaming? This must be the weirdest dream ever. I must not have slept enough lately—hallucinations and all that."
Liu Wei nearly jumped out of her chair. But remembering why she'd asked him here, she bit back her irritation, pulled a thick stack of bills from her pocket—easily three thousand yuan—and slapped it on the table. Her eyes locked onto Wu Yifan's, each word deliberate: "Believe me now?"
A nice meal at a place like Fude Yuan—decent but not fancy—cost around two to three thousand yuan. It was no match for high-end spots like "Celestial Empire Seafood City," but it wasn't somewhere ordinary people dined every day, either.
Wu Yifan, seeing she meant business, finally paused mid-bite, whistling softly. "The sun *is* rising in the west."
"I'm serious. Help me, and I'll cover the bill—plus, you can order more, up to four thousand yuan. What do you say?" Liu Wei kept her voice steady, her gaze unflinching.
Wu Yifan wasn't about to be bribed with a meal. If she was offering this much, the favor must be no small thing. He grinned, tilting his head. "Miss Liu Wei, I'm just a regular security guard—can't even lift a chicken, let alone save the world. No money, no status. You're asking the wrong guy. I know some pretty capable friends, though. I can introduce you."
"I thought this through. You can do it easily. No big deal." Liu Wei smiled, her tone light.
"Oh? And what's 'it'?" Wu Yifan pressed.
"I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend tomorrow. Help me get out of a blind date." Liu Wei said it with a mischievous grin, as if it were the simplest request in the world.
"Pfft!" Wu Yifan, who'd just taken a sip of red wine, spat it out—right onto Liu Wei's face. His eyes bugged out, as if he didn't recognize her. "Y-you… have you烧坏 your brain? That's not a joke to throw around. I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
Liu Wei shot up from her chair, grabbing a napkin to furiously wipe her face. Her almond-shaped eyes blazed with anger. "Wu Yifan! What the hell is wrong with you? If you have a problem, say it! Don't pull this childish stunt! You're despicable—you… you…!"
Ding Shihan stared, equally shocked. She hadn't expected Liu Wei to ask for *that*. It was surprising, but a tiny part of her was curious—what would happen at tomorrow's date? It might turn into a complete disaster, and honestly? She kind of wanted to watch.
Wu Yifan looked ready to cry. "Miss Liu Wei, we've met *once*. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, ruin your blind date… does that even make sense? Your parents would see right through it, for starters! And look at me—average looks, average clothes, average job. I'd blow my cover in two sentences. I can't help you. Find someone better. Don't let me mess this up for you."
"Everything you said is true," Liu Wei admitted, pouting her bright red lips, "but you're the only guy my age my parents haven't met. If there was someone better, do you think I'd be begging you?" She mumbled the last part, sounding annoyed.
"Does *this* look like the face of a convincing fake boyfriend?" Wu Yifan gestured to himself.
Liu Wei studied him, then nodded slowly. "You're average-looking, your clothes are a mess, and you act like a fool half the time… but if you squint, there's *some* masculinity there. Anyway, my blind date's success depends on you. Don't let me down."
"I really don't have a knack for this. Find someone else." Wu Yifan was already plotting his escape. Pretending to be a boyfriend? How cliché could this get? He'd be exposed in minutes, and then he'd have to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment.
"I've made up my mind. You're the one. No arguments. Just get ready tonight—tomorrow, all you have to do is play along." Liu Wei cut him off, tired of his protests.
"Isn't this a bit… forced?" Wu Yifan rolled his eyes. What was happening to him lately? Every woman under the sun was asking for favors, like he'd suddenly turned into some superhero in red underpants. Was his luck finally turning?
"Be at your place tomorrow at 8 a.m. If you're not there, I'll resort to… *special measures*. Your name, Wu Yifan, will be all over Beitian City. You might even outshine Ding Shihan as a celebrity!" Liu Wei's smile turned sinister, and she let out a low, menacing "Heh heh…"—like a crafty little fox plotting something.
Wu Yifan wanted to bang his head against the wall. If he'd known this would happen, he'd never have stepped foot in this restaurant. He wracked his brain for a way out.
Liu Wei, seeing him rendered speechless, preened. She ordered four more hot dishes, savoring every bite—happier than if she'd just eaten a magic ginseng fruit.
Ding Shihan, noticing Wu Yifan's glum expression, chuckled. "Brother Wu, if Liu Wei's asking, just help her. It's not a bad thing. Think of it as a free meal. Most guys would kill for this chance."
"Free meal?" Wu Yifan scoffed. "That meal's going to taste like poison. It's a trap, mark my words." He considered faking a sudden illness tomorrow—anything to dodge this.
But Liu Wei saw right through him, giggling. "If you pretend to be sick, I'll drag you there with a donkey. So think of a better excuse."
Wu Yifan weighed his options. There was no escaping this. He might as well face it head-on. With a resigned sigh, he nodded. "Fine, Miss Liu Wei. For better or worse, I'm in. Tomorrow, I'm all yours. Happy?"
"Much better," Liu Wei beamed. "To our successful plan tomorrow—cheers!"
"Cheers," Wu Yifan muttered, raising his glass with a grimace.