I can hear whispers…
one…
one…
Sometimes, it's just vague feelings, like something is tearing my flesh and burning it.
I'm driving myself mad, it hurts so much.
I can feel but can't see anything, hearing those whispers of someone or something like a creature that isn't me, the voice of a little girl, of a man, a maddening experience in itself.
I remember vaguely being a normal guy, trying to live, day by day, working random jobs after random jobs not lacking anything, but not wanting anything in particular, feeling empty and without goals.
I was a good biologist nerd, studied in a good university, passing the diploma without many problems, but in the end wasn't able to have a job in the ecological sector, supposedly lacking experiences but the real reason was an argument with another student, didn't even know him, then without even knowing it, I was somewhat blacklisted because of his so called father connections. What a shitty reason, just a fucking disagreement, then I was spat in the face because of daddy little boy.
Huh, fucking assholes.
2 years of living without meaning, staying close to my parents, but not enjoying life, just watching series, movies, reading shitty fanfictions, drinking with friends, fucking random girls… Yeah, nothing exceptional just existing… Existing and seeing greed and powers around me, seeing nature dissolving itself because of us… Plastic ocean… Climate change…Mass extinction… What a life huh…
I remember taking a smoke outside my parents' house (ironic i know), scrolling my phone for anything interesting, then some random fucking storm spawned over my head, throwing my cig in the dumpster, hearing a boom, and blacking out. By then, only feeling pain, nothingness, pain, voices, whispers, pain, noRhngin, pain, whispers, pAiN, Voicbes, PaIn PAIn Pain PaIN PAIN.
Mother.. Father..
The pain was still here, but I was regaining awareness, really just a strange feeling, not dissimilar to a bad night's rest.
How many times did it pass, minutes, hours, days, months, years? I don't even fucking know. It could be centuries for all I know.
Then I was in some sort of sky, just in a strange murky cloudy sky, but not The Sky, the one I see every day, That one was red and brown (or was it yellow?) not blue for sure. Thunder roared beside me like an angry god that didn't want my presence here. Pain rocks my body again, a pain so immense not dissimilar to the one I was feeling before but more real, more raw.
Was it hell?
What did I do to deserve that?
I wasn't exceptional but I wasn't bad either!
No?! Why! Why!
Mother.. Father..
An echo, a name, a whisper?
one..
Finally, only hoping that my nightmare would end, that I'd be finally put to rest. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be better? At least I hope so.
Laughter, deep, dark, inhuman, human?
I blacked out, the last thing I can remember, hearing that laughter?
My rage.
So strong, so profound, if I found out who or what was laughing, I would find myself killing it.