LIRIENNE
I launched a sharp smack to my neck, feeling a tiny tingle there, and the crushed body of a bloodfly. Flicking it away and rolling over, I buried my face in his back. Only then did I realize I was awake.
Awake to my sense that a man was in my bed.
The whole of last night returning to my mind caused my skin to tingle again. My body felt heavy with that morning-after laziness. I stared at Ger's hair, down to the slight bump of spine at his nape. I hadn't planned to sleep with him this quickly.
We met about a month ago at the new medicine shop I worked at, but he started to show interest a week ago. A man tells a lot of lies but his best one will always be the one he spins to try to get between your legs. This I was aware of, and yet here I was, trying to pretend I didn't like last night.
It worried me how little I regretted it.
"What are you thinking?" He asked me.
I sat up and flexed my neck from side to side with a sigh. "I didn't know you were awake."
He turned his lanky self around, propping his head on his hand as he stared at me with a simple smile. "Anyone ever told you how glorious you look in the morning?" He then played with a long lock of my black hair. "Especially with all your hair let loose like this."
"Here we go again."
"What do you mean? No one ever told you that?"
I pulled my hair away from his fingers, flicking them all behind my back and rolling it into a weak bun. I got off the bedding. Ger caught my wrist, now sitting up. His eyes were such bright greys one could easily get lost in them if not careful.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"You had what you wanted, you won't leave?"
I immediately noticed his grip tightening. "What?" He pulled me back down so that our bodies were pressed to each other again. He loosened the bun with his other hand, smiling as it dropped down my back.
Those eyes of his gazed deep into mine and I fought getting hooked.
"I don't know what kind of men you have been around, but I am not like them."
Then they dropped to my mouth, barely giving me enough time to think before his lips took it hostage.
The wet warmth of his mouth made me shiver. I exhaled sharply through my nose trapped at the proximity of his face as he lapped at my mouth. The pressure around my wrist dissolved, his hand migrated up to guide my head back into the bed while he continued to kiss me.
Although I felt as if I shouldn't be allowing this happen — I have always lived a life where everything around me is temporary. I couldn't afford to see a future with this — his other hand on my thigh deliberately brushing between my legs scattered my thoughts like ash in the wind yet again. He continued up my ribs until he stopped on my breast and my nails tightened in the bedding.
Ger stopped kissing me and I felt his morning breath on my face as he said, "When I say I have fallen deep in love with you, I very well do mean it."
How deep does one really fall in a week though? I brushed his hair, smiling. I knew deep down that this probably wouldn't last. Very few things in my life ever did. But I was willing to ride with it for however long it was bound to last. I was attracted to Ger, is one truth I didn't need to hide from myself…although "love", in his words, was quite stronger than what I felt.
I answered, "I hear you."
"And that's more than enough for me," he said.
He boyishly leapt off the bed, the muscles of his bare buttocks flexing seductively as he walked to the window. He forced it open.
"Don't you ever open this?"
"I never needed to. I leave early and return late so I never bothered. Besides, I've not spent the high-sun season in this house yet."
"Fair enough," he nodded into the daylight flooding the room. "But you know what this place needs?" He turned to me. "More mornings like this. And I'll be honoured to spend your first high-sun here with you."
I smiled in return. It would be highly unlikely that I'm still here by then. That happening would be a miracle. I couldn't remember ever daring to assume continuity in a world I've trained myself to expect none.
I reknotted my hair into a bun and left the bed to drape something on.
"Please help with the sheets."
While I covered myself, he attended to the sheets and our clothes on the floor. I pointed him in the direction to keep the laundry, which he did. He then put his own clothes on.
"I'm going to have to head home to take a bath since I have no clothes to change into here."
I nodded.
"Do you have any plans for today? I heard the shops are closed for the festival."
"I will find somewhere else to be," I said.
"Which means you won't mind coming somewhere with me in the evening?" Ger was now fastening the ropes of his shirt.
Intrigued, I asked. "And where is that?"
"A friend of mine just had triplets," he smiled proudly, "He's throwing a celebration tonight in Lycartown. You could use the fun of a little trip and party. Also meet my people…"
Why did he make it sound like we're becoming a serious couple or something?
"Coming?"
"Mhmm," I agreed, "Tonight will be the first time I see triplets so that's one thing to look forward to."
He seemed excited. "Good. I'll be back here in the evening."
"You could come meet me at a different spot," I redirected, "That way I won't need to take the journey back here by evening."
Ger arrived at the exact time he said he would. The sun was leaning westward by the time we set out for the harbour. I also bought a new dress because I wasn't sure anything I already had would be worth the glamour I was most likely going to meet at the party. And from the stories Ger told me on the way, I was expecting to see something grand.
Two hours later, we reached the other side of the water, where the final path to the town was. Ger helped me out of the boat and I immediately felt more aware of myself than usual.
The aura of my wolf heated my skin.
She was demanding my attention in the way only she knew how. Other than shifting during full moons, this was our only language. Normal people were able to hear their wolf's distinct voice when needed, but those with mute wolves like me weren't. Whenever this sensation filled me up, it always came in this one form, and it was up to me to interpret what it was, using my surroundings or situations.
That's how I knew what she felt when I let Ger undress me last night was lust. That's how I knew she felt safe when the ten-year-old me was sheltered in a mountain by a group of kind souls after wandering the forest for days. That's how I knew that the first time I sat around a fire with other kids my age to tell my story, she felt kinship.
But sometimes, situations were not enough to tell.
I observed the shoreline and the distant town lights.
I had to taste the feeling itself.
I taught myself to translate her message through flavor. I learned to pause, close my eyes and let it settle on my tongue.
This one was a taste I've known for years. It was like biting into an apple with half a worm…
"Lirienne?"
I stop staring at the shoreline, now following Ger alongside a few passengers who seemed to be headed the same way. The further down the path we went the more the surroundings began to feel like what I had tasted.
I ducked quickly, pulling out the knife under my skirt, but I was hurled to the ground by the two men behind us quicker than I could swing the blade. The side of my head was knocked harshly into the ground, a thick boot climbing on my wrist. I screamed from the pain of my bones grinding together and my fingers unclasped from around the knife.
"Ger!"
The weight on me multiplied. I could feel a knee in my spine, forearm wrenching my shoulder. My strength wasn't enough to fight them.
Ger came closer, watching the spectacle.
I was more shocked that I wasn't so surprised to see his true colours, than I was at myself for falling for his trick.
"I swear I'm going to kill—" the bone on my wrist was crushed even more. I screamed.
"Don't be so harsh on her now and just do what you have to do," he waved his hand as if swatting away my suffering.
I glared up at him through strands of my hair, feeling my heart burn with such sudden hatred for him. I let my guard down a little and this is what I got. It was my fault.
They slashed my skin with a knife, collecting some blood to coat a small crystal in and it glowed. Roars of laughter followed.
Ger smirked. "I told you my visions don't lie."
They threw him a purse of money, which he caught, almost salivating as he looked into it.
I grunted in pain and fear for my life as they dragged me upright. "What are you doing?"
"What do you think?" one sneered at me. "You're a pure blood, and we're going to sacrifice you to our god for something special in return."
I groaned again, not breaking gaze from Ger's face as an angry drop of tear slid across the bridge of my nose. My futile struggles earned nothing but more laughter. One of them pressed a cloth with a pungent smell on my face and I could instantly feel my senses shutting down, bones weakening.
Ger knelt close to my face and caressed my cheek,
"Just so you know, I did like you…with sex like that, to the gods I wouldn't have let you go for anything if I had a choice. But you have to lose some to gain some."
"You should pray to your god that I don't survive, because if I do, count your days…" I grunted through the last shred of strength in my teeth.
"Shh," he said against my lips and kissed me as my world dissolved into nothing.