Indifferently and calmly, I watched Tomiko's palms - she was adjusting her new omamori on my neck. Before she explained to me that this would allow her to prevent my turning into the vampire if it ever happened. The turning, as she shared with me, takes about several days. And the best thing that can be done in order to escape from such a result is not to let the soul be locked in the body. She shrugged and muttered something about being forcibly sent on realignment, which I understood as a promise of violent death. But anyways, I'd already made a decision and was mentally focused.
"Well, that's it, I've basically told you everything. Magical development in this world is dubious for you beyond what you already know. Perhaps you just learn to optimize because of multiple repetitions. And you got too little spiritual power even for one tail. Therefore, I recommend you just continue to live as you live, train as you already train, and rely on Fate. She would always lead you out!
"You say you're done?" I raised my eyebrows and looked into her eyes, causing her to freeze in surprise at my cold tone. "Then get out."
"What?" she recoiled from me. "Izzy, what do you mea..."
"I said, get out. Told me everything? Made it clear exactly what happened to me, and how are you connected with it? Is that all? So, get the fuck out. I am not interested in further continuation of our relationship. I thought I knew you. I was wrong."
"But... how!"
She was strangely confused for such an old creature, probably foxes had their own categories of growing up, but I'm definitely not in the mood to ask.
"After all, I'd like to teach you many things, there's a theory for all this, too, and it is quite important. After all, you will become one of us in the end..."
"You said that in order to become a kitsune, I don't even need to try very hard, it will happen on its own," I rubbed my hip, because the pain shot through it again, winced and continued in a mockingly soft tone. "Or did you lie about that, too?"
"You got that right, but there are certain..."
She started to clench and unclench her fingers, and I knew that I was upsetting her, but now I somehow had no desire to take her feelings into consideration.
"The sooner the better, right? And a better knowledge of the theory, and what you can expect from this... Ascension. You have nowhere else to take this knowledge from!"
"You said yourself that there is a cult of Inari, and you, kitsune, are her servants. And they reside everywhere where there is a cult of Inari. I'll find someone else."
"There are also travelers and temporary exiles in universes where there's no Inari cult," she added. "If you refuse the favor that is granted to you, then..."
"Favor?" I said it softly and even smarmy somehow, and was about to take a deep breath to start shouting, but she interrupted me.
"Yes! Anyone other than me will only do it in return for something! Quid pro quo! You saved me, and I gave you reincarnation with the memory of a past life - it was an involuntary exchange! My mistake in the ritual made it impossible for anything but friendship between us! I'm not some sort of villain, I didn't have any plans for you, I just wanted to talk to you! I almost never talked to humans before you saved me!"
"How's that?"
I was taken aback. And almost forgot the fact that I was going to send her to all hells and not speak to her, at least until I cool down.
It was already dark in the room - we didn't turn on the lights, and the street didn't provide much illumination. My concussion situation was fine with it, and Tomiko's eyes were clearly inhuman - they burned in this semi-darkness with some kind of feverish light.
"You were the first human compatible with our magic and at the same time not related to someone from my family line that I met! I... I am the real kitsune, not ascended from the human soul. I am the daughter of the fox and have served Inari directly almost all my life, as do many like me. This life... not at all as fast as human. In those worlds where magic is more than an empty phrase, we have duties. And I wouldn't have died from being hit by a car, but you didn't know that. You sacrificed your life, and behaved nobly... And I couldn't act otherwise."
"But why would you..."
I was almost strangled by conflicting emotions, so I just cleared this lump in my throat, winced and couldn't continue.
"As my mother said," Tomiko sighed and reached out with her palm to my cheek, "I had to take responsibility for what I did to the human soul. We haven't performed ascension for a very long time, even by our standards. I didn't even know initially that my ritual would lead to this."
"That is..."
"That is, if you're kicking me out for a time just to get your thoughts in order, I understand that! You're in your right! And I know you, you're forgiving. But don't try to break off our relationship completely!"
"Yet I don't know you!" I barked hoarsely, but even that didn't make her pull her hand away. "That's the problem, Tomiko. That's the whole problem."
"You are my friend," here it was, in her voice, the steel familiar to me from our rare disputes, so rare before these crazy days. "You are important to me. And not because I was forced to keep an eye on you as my mistake."
"Then don't tell me what to do," I said, almost syllable by syllable, while squeezing her fingers in mine. "I'll talk to these vampires if they want to, because I'm curious. I want to understand what the fuck happened to me because of Rosalie, without your oh so valuable instructions. I want to live and decide for myself. You can't force me to obey, Tomiko."
"I wasn't going to," she paused for a few seconds and closed her eyes. "But I can. You don't understand what these local vampires are. They are not demons, not like those Buffy ones. They are humans whose consciousnesses are doomed to be in these bodies, and their souls do not develop despite the time they have lived, they may even degrade. Kitsune can also get energy from blood, as you probably remember from the myths, you've read them, so I don't despise the leeches for that." I nodded thoughtfully at this. It seems she was preparing me gradually, and I was just starting to notice it. "But until you're fully kitsune, it's dangerous for you to be around them. I'm not simply... And, you just said it yourself, your blood would be like a drug for one of them!"
"And I have no chance to fight back," I nodded, but I was definitely not going to give up my previous words. "They're too strong."
"Omamori can give temporary powers," she added. "I wanted to teach you to concentrate on it after they discharge you. Well, their senior leech works as a doctor, and he's the one who was in ER when you were admitted. So, he knows exactly how much your bone should take, how long the cast should stay... If you want to keep a secret about who we are for as long as possible, then you will have to wait a bit with active participation in anything."
"They can't tell you're not human?"
I was surprised and realized that my curiosity overcame my desire to throw her out of the window.
Well, yes, it was a losing situation - I shouldn't have let her talk.
"Of course not," she rolled her eyes and stated with her usual composure, already clearly convinced that we were not continuing to argue. "I am a higher spirit, and kitsune are masters of disguise. These vampires sparkle, Izzy. They sparkle and they stink!"
"How dare they!"
I gave out a strangled giggle and, as if I had been caught doing something bad, froze under her gaze.
"I understand that you need to think about all this, and I won't..." she began.
"It's better this way," I interrupted. "I have to figure it out myself."
"It's easier to solve the issue with omamori right now, so that we don't have any reasons to cross paths before you think it over and decide for yourself," she nodded to her own thoughts, it seemed. "I can wait until you had enough of your games, sure. Time is what I have in abundance!"
"I'm not doing it for any games," I said irritably. "I want to understand what I feel. And I want to try and do something about what you said about Lillian. After all, if these ghouls are interested in her, it means there is a chance that she will get herself into the bullshit that happened according to the canon. The canon I don't know, to my joy or unfortune I haven't decided yet. And you weren't going to send me to reincarnation yourself and right now, were you?"
"No! We no longer kill unnecessarily!" she slapped me on the shoulder and then pulled my ear. "And I don't see any necessity as of yet!"
"As of yet?" I moved my eyebrows playfully and grinned toothlessly. "Do I need to worry?"
"I don't kill anyone at all," she scowled. "Why would I do that? I mean, generally, our kind don't do that. We're all different, you know. Shit happened. Historically speaking."
"There is no beast scarier than a human," I shrugged. "And since you say that the local vampires are the same humans, then I understand your concerns about me. And that's why, Tomiko, I can't help but fear for Lillian."
"You still love her," the fox winced. "She's too obsessive."
"Look who's talking," I chuckled. "But yes, there is that. And no, Tomiko, I don't love her. I didn't allow myself to dive into feelings because I suspected. It was something inside me, I felt that I'll keep remembering. Losing everyone I knew once again? Put up with the fact that all my friends are in the past, and I won't see them anymore? It hurts, Tomiko. I don't make friends easily."
"Come to think of it, it always annoyed me that I don't feel your happiness when you're together," she sighed. "You're going to get into this shit anyway, aren't you?""
I simply nodded.
"Then let's meditate on omamori so that you are at least ready to go down fighting, you moron," she muttered with resignation and sat down next to me on the bed. "You don't want to take my apprehension into account, yes, but without precautions you won't stay alive for sure if there is a clash with these local ghouls."
"Wow, what an emotional roller coaster you got me, fox," I muttered and looked at the window, the night was finally here. "I suggest we sleep on it. Tomorrow is another day."
She settled herself more comfortably, threw her hand on my stomach and reached out with a kiss to my cheek.
I jerked away.
"It's not time yet, is it?" she murmured.
"Tomorrow, as soon as you teach me at least partially..." I whispered.
"I'll teach you completely, it's easy enough!" her voice was excited even.
"So you'll teach me. And you won't stay around until I call or until there is a need for it."
She turned around and lay on her back, contemplating the ceiling.
The silence lasted about five minutes, and I was already beginning to slowly nod away, but her whisper on the verge of my hearing made me come to it.
"I agree. I'll give you time, I told you. You're my best friend."
I nodded my agreement into the darkness that quickly surrounded us and closed my eyes.