I kept walking through the darkness, repeating my name over and over.
"Isaac… Isaac… Isaac."
I can't stand being trapped in this place anymore. I can't keep watching everything without being able to act.
When I first arrived in that world, I thought I could control Frieren's body. I thought I could grow stronger using that cultivation system.
But that's not what's happening…
I remain seated in the darkness, unable to think or move.
In silence, I just watch everything unfold.
Isn't this body mine too? Why can't I make decisions?
I've tried reaching out to the owner of this body several times, but I've never managed to do it.
And on the few occasions when I did take control, I couldn't do much. The control only lasted a few seconds.
"I can't forget who I am…" I began repeating that to myself as memories of the past filled my mind.
My family, my old world, my home — and the few friends I once had.
I can only move around in this place and think about my past life when the body's true owner is asleep.
But I can't take control while she's sleeping.
I've already tried everything.
I tried using magic, tried calling out to the system, even prayed to the god who brought me to this world — but none of it worked.
This is the only time I have to think about my past life and about what's happening right now in the world of Danmachi.
What a strange world.
Humans and elves hating each other, the World Tree, the massive forest, the bizarre existence of Frieren…
But what caught my attention the most was Frieren's relationship with Loki.
I didn't see that coming.
I've always liked Loki.
If I could take full control of Frieren's body, I'd definitely take advantage of her relationship with Loki. Loki really loves her — I'm sure I could do anything I wanted.
"What am I even thinking? Am I losing my mind?"
The faces of my wife and son came to mind.
I can't think about things like that.
"But… is it really a sin to think that way?"
I'll never be able to go back. I've already accepted that. My wife will probably move on with her life. She'll probably meet a good man who can take care of her and our son.
Just thinking about that made my heart ache.
Before I could think of anything else, tears started running down my face.
"I just want to live a little. Please, let me live a little longer. I can't stand being trapped anymore."
I sat on the ground and grabbed at my short hair in frustration.
In this vast, empty darkness, the body I have is the same one I had before I died.
####
Pov: Third Person
Some time had passed, and Fern was still living at the Loki Familia's home. She spent most of her time inside the bedroom, too afraid of the goddess Loki, who didn't seem to like her very much.
Fern had been using Tiona's bathroom and wearing clothes that Tiona had bought for her. On top of that, Tiona always brought her food and water — in the morning, afternoon, and even at night.
It was the first time Fern had felt so loved since Heiter's death.
Every day, Fern made sure to express how grateful she was to Tiona for letting her stay there so long.
But I need to talk to that elf… She's taking too long.
Days had gone by since Fern started living there, and her anxiety was only growing. Even though she liked staying in that place, she knew she had to leave soon.
She didn't want to become a burden.
'But won't I be a burden anyway?' she thought.
If she went to the elves, wouldn't she still be a burden?
"No! Once I get there, I'll work hard. I want to learn magic and help them," Fern said to herself with a faint smile.
As she threw herself onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, the door opened.
Of course — it was Tiona.
"Fern…"
"Hm?" Fern quickly got up and walked toward her. Tiona's expression was complicated.
"Did something happen? You look sad."
"Ryuu's here. She's downstairs," Tiona said with a weak smile.
"She's here? When did she arrive?"
"She just got here."
"Can I talk to her now?" Fern asked, not paying attention to Tiona's obvious sadness.
Why was she sad? It was simple:
Because she didn't want Fern to leave.
Tiona had grown fond of Fern's presence in her room. She enjoyed taking care of her. She thought Fern was beautiful and gentle.
She didn't want her to go.
That's why she'd asked Loki several times to let Fern join the Familia — but it didn't work. Loki didn't want Fern in her Familia.
Even so, Tiona still wanted to stay by her side.
Despite her age, Tiona already felt like a mother.
"You can wait here. I've already spoken to Ryuu about you. She'll come up in a few minutes."
"Alright. Thank you." Fern bowed her head politely, and Tiona sighed.
"What will you do after you talk to her?"
"As I said before, I'll ask Ryuu to take me to the Elven Forest. I'm not staying in this city," Fern said, looking seriously at Tiona.
She had already explained why she wanted to go — it was her master's last request.
Tiona thought it was madness, but she couldn't stop her.
"Alright. If that's what you really want to do."
"Are you sad because of that? Because I'm leaving?"
"No, of course not!" Tiona said quickly, clearing her throat afterward.
Then, someone knocked on the door.
When it opened, Ryuu stepped inside wearing her hood. Her eyes met Fern's, and she held her breath.
What an adorable child, she thought.
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