"What would you like to play?"
"I don't like games."
It was the middle of July. Instead of warm days, rain and a cold, strong wind swept through our town, blowing with a force that felt like a tornado. Luckily, I wasn't outside, which spared me from experiencing it again — two days ago I had, and it hadn't been pleasant. I had started to fear the weather, which seemed to grow worse every year.
James had organized a get-together, one where our whole group was supposed to come along with Mary. But to my surprise, I was the first one there, and the others were supposed to arrive any moment. At least, that's what I hoped.
"When will they get here?" I asked, biting my fingernails. I was a little impatient, though my mind was drifting to Lilou, the girl I'd met in therapy. It had been such a strange meeting, and lately I'd been searching for her around town. I even went to the cinema hoping to see her, but she wasn't there. She wasn't in the park either. I could have asked for her number, but what if she thought I only wanted it to ask her out on a date?
James didn't answer. He just walked over and sat on the floor beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a blue bracelet on his wrist. It caught my attention because I'd never seen him wear something like that. I asked him where he got it.
"Oh… Mary gave it to me," he cleared his throat. "Do you like it?"
"Maybe."
"I can give it to you, if you want."
My eyes widened.
"What? No, it's a gift for you," I gestured with my hands. "She'd be mad if she found out you gave it away…"
"She wouldn't. You can always buy another one."
Another one? I hadn't thought of that. Still, it wouldn't be right to Mary. Even if I found out what store it came from, there was still a problem: I had no money. I couldn't ask my mom — things were already tight. Damn, now I had to find a way to close this conversation.
"And where did she buy it?"
James raised his right eyebrow. His eyes drifted upward for a second before returning to me.
"I don't know. You'll have to ask her. Probably not in Willow Hollow."
I dropped my gaze to the floor.
The clock in James's living room chimed. It always let out a characteristic cuckoo sound that echoed through the whole house. Annoying as hell, and I was glad I didn't live here. Thankfully, the cuckoo bird returned to its little house after a minute. Because of the noise, I didn't notice when James laid his head on my shoulder. I flinched and immediately moved away.
"What?" He raised his brow again, sounding confused, like he didn't know what I was doing or why I had pulled away.
"You… put your head…"
"So? We're friends."
"You know… it feels weird…"
"Friends do that all the time, what's so weird about it?" His tone was firm.
A thought crept into my head — was this some kind of trap? But I quickly pushed it away. Maybe he was right. Maybe friends did that. But friends didn't do it when one of them had feelings for the other, without the other knowing.
"Right."
He touched my cheek with his fingers, staring at it blankly.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking," he answered. "You have a nice face. A really nice face." He laid his head on my shoulder again.
I fell forward onto the floor, rolling onto my back, and he just shook his head and laid down on my chest. My heart started beating faster and faster. I hoped he wouldn't notice and ask me about it.
"Really?" I swallowed.
"Yes. You could become someone great, someone you can't even imagine right now," he said, stroking my cheek up and down with his fingertips. Being in such an uncomfortable position was getting to me.
"Sure…" I tried to control my breathing, but it wasn't slowing down — not for a minute. That only made me more nervous. "What if Mary comes and sees us like this?"
"She won't."
His confidence started to irritate me. The shoulder thing, maybe you could explain away. But this? No one would believe any excuse. Even if I were in her place, I'd slap both of us in the face.
"Even if she did, so what?" James sniffed. "I know she wouldn't break up with me."
"I don't doubt that," my mouth was dry, and my breathing sounded ugly.
"I hear doubt in your voice."
"Excuse me?"
"You think she would break up with me, don't you?" His tone was pressing, almost like he had a problem with me not believing him. "Would you be happy then?"
"Why would I be happy?" I smiled nervously. "You'd be sad, and I don't want you to be. I'd be worried about you."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You'll have to prove that to me someday." James burst out laughing. "Don't worry, Mary and I will be together for life. And if not, she can't live without my big dick, so…"
I was speechless.
"What? She'd sooner die than go without it for even a moment. Want to see?"
My eyes widened. I hadn't expected that. My thoughts froze like a broken record, and so did my voice, stuck in my throat.
"I don't want to."
"Your loss."
Drrr.
The phone rang, echoing through the room. James looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"All good things come to an end," he lifted his head from my chest and stood up. He picked up the phone. "Hello?"
It was Ryan, waiting at the door with the rest of the group. James quickly ran to let them in.
For the next few hours, James didn't pay me a second of attention. And inside, I felt an empty, nostalgic void — one I wished he, or someone, could fill. It wasn't me anymore. It was someone else.
***
The voices grew clearer, sharper. I turned my head toward their chairs. Sitting there were only Jeremy and Joshua. Three people were missing. As I wondered where they had gone, my eyes darted quickly to the bed where I lay — and there, resting on it, was a hand.
"Who's that…?"
From a blurry shape, the figure of a man formed, a face staring at me with mad desire.
Ryan.
He grabbed me by the ankles, pulled me toward him, and flipped me over.
"Ryan?"
"Shut up."