Chapter 296: Xiao Yan: "Here's your ultrasound, with two lines."
What's... sizzling?
What's that rich, fragrant, barbecued aroma?
"Oh," Gu Yuan thought with a strange, terrifying detachment. "It's me."
"So, my Physical Body is cooked... and it smells this good?"
Gu Yuan was a bit dazed, his mind unable to fully process the absurd sensory information.
...
After witnessing this scene from the outside, Xiao Yan felt a little "regretful."
Had he gone too far?
To be fair, Gu Yuan himself had actually been decent to him. It was just the people of the Gu Family who were a bit tactless and arrogant...
After a moment of "deep" thought, Xiao Yan finally...
Closed his eyes, a faint, satisfied smile on his face. He hadn't gone nearly far enough.
In reality, he wasn't just intentionally making things difficult for Gu Yuan.
These so-called Six Trials were a creation he had personally devised, using the Great Five Elements Technique combined with other Divine Abilities from the chat group.
[Inorin's Note: The Great Five Elements Technique is a powerful crossover cultivation technique, not native to the Dou Qi Continent, that Xiao Yan possesses.]
They weren't simply meant to torment people. No, they served as an excellent, premium-grade Trial Grounds.
If one could pass through these Six Trials, even a powerhouse at the Late-Stage 9-Star Dou Saint realm, like Gu Yuan, would benefit greatly.
Moreover, the difficulty of these trials could be adjusted.
From old-timers at the Late-Stage 9-Star Dou Saint Realm down to someone like Ling Ying—who he recalled was the top Dou Huang of the Gu Family—all could enter and undergo the trials.
[Inorin's Note: Ling Ying was the Dou Huang (later Dou Zun) bodyguard who protected Xiao Yan in the Jia Ma Empire on Gu Xun'er's orders.]
Ordinary cultivators who went through it once would emerge completely transformed, their foundations strengthened.
And, most importantly, there was no real danger to life.
It's no exaggeration to say that these Six Trials could even serve as the ultimate foundation of a new Imperial Family's heritage.
This was a grand, generous gift Xiao Yan was giving to the Gu Family.
At most... he just turned up the "pain level" a tiny bit. Just for the first user.
Once the old-timer personally went through it and reaped the benefits, he would surely be eager to share them with his Clan members.
From then on, the people of the Gu Family would be regular, enthusiastic visitors to these Six Trials.
This was especially true for those in the Dou Zun Realm who were so dissatisfied with him.
Currently, most of the people in the Gu Family who were dissatisfied with him were concentrated in the Dou Zun Realm.
And these Six Trials just so happened to have the best training effect on those in the Dou Zun Realm.
Because of the existence of the Dou Di Bloodline, Gu Family members could easily break through to the Dou Zun Realm.
However, because they relied so much on their bloodline during cultivation, their mental state and foundation in the Dou Zun Realm were not sufficiently cultivated. This made it incredibly difficult for them to take the final step and break through to Dou Saint.
Within the Gu Family, a large number of people were stuck at the 9-Star Dou Zun Realm.
These people were also the core Elders of the Gu Family.
Most of those dissatisfied with him were also from this group of stubborn elders.
The trials of these Six Trials—especially the mental and physical torment—could help them temper their minds and break through to the Dou Saint Realm.
Xiao Yan could guarantee, one hundred percent, that if a 9-Star Dou Zun Realm expert managed to clear all Six Trials in one go...
They would definitely be able to break through directly to the Dou Saint Realm.
A Secret Realm that could allow people to break through to the Dou Saint Realm with one hundred percent certainty... the value of this gift was self-evident.
It's just that...
The process might be a little painful.
However...
To become stronger, how can one not pay a price?
Xiao Yan felt that he was truly a great and benevolent person.
Those Dou Zuns of the Gu Family were so displeased with him, yet he still disregarded past grievances and generously helped them break through...
He was simply a Saint. A true Saint.
This was something being given to the Gu Family, so it was a normal procedure for the "Old Man" Gu Yuan to verify its effect first. A simple quality assurance check.
If the old-timer didn't know the benefits of this thing, how would he promote it to the Gu Family members?
This was the old-timer's solemn responsibility as a Clan Chief! Xiao Yan was just helping him fulfill his duty.
Gu Yuan struggled to emerge from the raging, golden-black flames.
After he finally walked out, his entire body, from his ceremonial robes to his ancient skin, exuded a strong smell of cooked meat.
"It's... a bit burnt," a strange, detached thought flashed through Gu Yuan's mind.
Under the effect of the Azure Emperor Wood Emperor Art, a boundless, life-giving energy was simultaneously healing him as he was being cooked.
[Inorin's Note: The Azure Emperor Wood Emperor Art is another crossover technique, likely from Eternal Life, which provides immense vitality and healing.]
He was being flash-fried and flash-healed at the same time. He had... already gained some experience in barbecuing.
"If the heat were a little weaker, and I walked out a bit faster... it shouldn't get burnt. It would probably be just right. Medium-rare."
Gu Yuan thought to himself, his mind fuzzy from the pain.
A surge of pure vital Qi acted upon his body. After a few breaths, his charred skin flaked off, revealing a new, more refined Physical Body underneath.
Not smelling that rich, meaty aroma anymore... he felt a little lost instead.
It took him a full ten seconds to snap out of it.
'What the hell am I feeling lost about?!'
'It's my own cooked meat!'
Upon realizing this, Gu Yuan quickly checked himself to see if he still had any injuries.
However, he was surprised to find that after emerging from the raging flames, both his Physical Body and the Dou Qi within him seemed to have undergone a powerful refinement.
He had become stronger!
Hiss!
Can barbecuing... actually make you stronger?
Gu Yuan looked at the next trial—a towering mountain of pure, black ice—gritted his teeth, and walked in.
He had already passed two trials. Naturally, there was no reason to give up now.
Moreover, he had also realized that Xiao Yan wasn't purely venting his anger or toying with him.
These so-called Six Trials...
Held some profound mystery!
As soon as he stepped into the Ice Mountain Trial, Gu Yuan shivered all over, his teeth chattering violently as he trembled from the bone-deep cold.
Last time was a sea of fire.
This time, it was an ice mountain.
It was like experiencing both fire and ice. A true song of ice and fire...
Gu Yuan was frozen stiff in an instant, almost unable to move. He desperately circulated the Dou Qi within his body to resist the cold, then struggled to walk on the ice mountain.
This was another completely new and agonizing experience.
His body was stiff with cold, and every single step was incredibly difficult.
Gu Yuan's speed walking through the ice mountain was slower than a turtle's.
The further he walked, the more his awe for Xiao Yan grew.
Such methods were terrifying.
These so-called Six Trials... each one was more tormenting than the last.
Even a 9-Star Dou Saint expert like him would be stripped of a layer of skin within them.
If it weren't for the constant support of that special, green vital Qi...
He would probably have died long ago.
In other words...
The Six Trials casually set up by Xiao Yan had the power to kill a 9-Star Dou Saint expert.
Gu Yuan found it hard to imagine just how terrifying Xiao Yan's true strength really was.
Although it was difficult...
Gu Yuan eventually emerged from the ice mountain, his body numb and blue.
Ultimately, the Six Trials were only a bit tormenting; there was no real danger to life.
It just tested one's willpower a bit.
Gu Yuan was, after all, a 9-Star Dou Saint Realm expert, so he had the willpower to endure it.
Having passed the ice mountain, Gu Yuan staggered into the trial of the Bone-Scraping Calamity Wind.
This trial was set up using the Great Calamity Technique.
[Inorin's Note: The Great Calamity Technique is a devastating Dao art from Eternal Life (Fang Han's world), one of the Three Thousand Great Daos, controlling disasters.]
It contained some elements of an apocalyptic natural disaster, but its power was mercifully weakened so as not to truly kill people. Just... mostly.
As Gu Yuan stepped in, he saw fierce, gray-black winds howling within a desolate valley.
At first, he didn't know the mystery of this trial.
But when the first wisp of wind scraped against his body, he shivered.
Pain!
Too much pain!
It wasn't a wind that cut the skin; it was a wind that scraped flesh from bone, a wind that seemed to carry the despair of a dying world, targeting the soul and the marrow.
As the calamity wind scraped his very bones, a tear of pure, unadulterated regret appeared in the corner of Gu Yuan's eye.
'Why... why didn't I stop those idiot Elders from bothering Xiao Yan?'
'Why did those Elders insist on bothering him?!'
'He wanted the girl! Why didn't you just let him have the girl?!'
'If Xun'er liked him, then just let her be! Why did we have to interfere?!'
'Pain! Too much pain!'
...
Gu Yuan didn't know how he walked out of that wind valley, his soul feeling like it had been put through a cheese grater. He quickly rushed to the next trial.
Endless Purgatory.
This trial was, on the surface, quite unremarkable. It was a vast, empty, white space with nothing inside.
However, Gu Yuan dared not let his guard down in the slightest. He knew that anything Xiao Yan created would never be simple.
Gu Yuan stepped in, his every nerve on high alert.
He looked left. He looked right. Nothing.
"This trial... it doesn't seem to hurt?"
A hint of profound relief rose in Gu Yuan's heart. Maybe Xiao Yan had run out of ideas.
The next instant, voices appeared beside his ears. Majestic, ancient music swelled.
"Long live our Emperor, long live, long long live!"
Hearing this sound, Gu Yuan felt a little dazed.
Who am I?
Where am I?
He looked ahead. He was on a golden throne, and countless officials knelt all over the ground in a grand hall.
Oh.
My name is Gu Yuan.
I am the Emperor!
"All my beloved officials, rise!" Gu Yuan spoke, his voice booming with authority.
"Thank you, Emperor..."
...
After a long, prosperous day of court sessions, Gu Yuan returned to his imperial study.
At this moment, the Empress entered, leading a little girl as delicate as a jade sculpture.
"Empress. Xun'er. You've arrived."
He was the Emperor, with three thousand concubines in his harem, but his only true loves were the Empress and the daughter he had with her.
Especially his daughter. Gu Xun'er.
She was his sweet little cotton jacket, the most beloved princess of the Dynasty.
Gu Yuan wished he could give her all the best things in the world.
Soon, the little princess grew up, becoming the most beautiful woman in the land.
Whatever she wanted, Gu Yuan gave her.
But very quickly, Gu Yuan was dumbfounded.
"What? You want to summon a penniless scholar to be your consort?"
"Father Emperor, Brother Xiao Yan is not a penniless scholar at all; he's very talented!"
"A fellow who has studied for over ten years and isn't even a Xiu Cai? What is he if not a penniless scholar? Is he worthy of being with you?"
[Inorin's Note: A "Xiu Cai" was the lowest-level graduate in the ancient Imperial Examination system.]
"I don't care, Father! I just want to be with Brother Xiao Yan!"
"You are the current princess! What kind of young talent can't you find? The top scholar of the Dynasty, a Young Master from a noble Family, a young general—you can choose anyone! Why did you have to fall for such a useless, penniless scholar?"
"I... I don't care... I'm already... carrying Brother Xiao Yan's child..."
Upon hearing this, Gu Yuan felt his vision blur with golden stars, and the world spun.
"Emperor! Emperor! Quickly, call the imperial physician!"
...
"Ugh... why does it feel like I had a strange, terrible dream?"
Gu Yuan woke up from his bed, feeling a bit groggy. He was in a small, cramped room, the sun barely shining.
"Never mind... Time to go to work!"
Dressed in strange, stiff clothing, Gu Yuan prepared to go to work.
Being middle-aged, the pressure was quite high. He had to support his family.
Fortunately, his sweet little cotton jacket, his daughter, was very promising. She got into the best university in the country! Everyone around him envied him for having such a smart, thoughtful daughter.
After returning from a long day at the factory, Gu Yuan began to calculate the days until his daughter's holiday return.
It wasn't far.
He wondered how she was doing in university. Had she made any new friends?
With these warm thoughts in mind, finally, his daughter came home for the holidays.
"Mom and Dad, let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend..."
When Gu Yuan first saw his daughter return, he was overjoyed.
After hearing his daughter's words, his heart sank.
After seeing the person his daughter brought in, his heart died.
How long had his daughter been in university? A few months?! And she already had a boyfriend?
And she was dating... a yellow-haired, smoking, tattooed guy?!
"Hello, old-timer!" The yellow-haired guy walked up to him and greeted him with a lazy smirk.
Upon hearing this, Gu Yuan clenched his fists so hard his nails dug into his palms.
"I didn't know what to give for our first meeting," the yellow-haired guy continued, digging in his pocket. "So I'll just give you a child!"
The yellow-haired guy said, pulling out a folded sheet of paper.
Gu Yuan felt a terrible, cold premonition and snatched the paper.
An... ultrasound report!
His heart died.
"And here's this. There are two lines!" The yellow-haired guy then pulled out a white plastic stick with two clear, damning lines on it.
Gu Yuan clutched his chest, feeling breathless.
He tremblingly looked at the yellow-haired guy, then at his daughter, and asked, his voice shaking, "Do you know him, you, you..."
His daughter didn't speak, looking at the floor.
The yellow-haired guy beside him spoke up with a grin: "Oh, we know each other. Everything that needed to be known has been known, and what shouldn't have been known... well, that was also known that night."
Upon hearing this, Gu Yuan could no longer suppress the explosive anger in his heart and shot up.
The yellow-haired guy also stood up immediately: "Hey! Don't hurt the baby!"
Gu Yuan felt like he couldn't breathe.
Since things had come to this... he had no choice but to inquire about the yellow-haired guy's situation.
"How... how did you come here today?"
The yellow-haired guy grinned: "I came on my ghost bike. Old-timer, is my ghost bike safe parked downstairs at your place?"
[Inorin's Note: A "ghost bike" (guǐ huǒ chē) is slang for a heavily modified, loud, and flashy motorcycle, often associated with delinquents.]
As he spoke, he pulled out a key and pressed a button.
Beep! Beep! WOOOO! A series of loud, obnoxious sounds came from downstairs.
Gu Yuan looked outside; a colorful, ridiculously modified motorcycle was flashing neon lights below.
Pain!
Too much pain!
"Do... do you have a job...?" Gu Yuan forcibly suppressed the anger in his heart and continued to ask.
"I have an ultrasound report."
"Do you have a house?"
"I have two lines."
Upon hearing this, Gu Yuan couldn't hold back anymore.
"You don't even have a car! You have a toy! How dare you pursue my daughter!!!" He roared furiously.
The yellow-haired guy was confused by this: "No, old-timer. Xun'er pursued me first..."
Gu Yuan looked at his daughter in disbelief.
His daughter nodded shyly: "Yes, Dad. I think... I think Brother Xiao Yan is quite handsome!"
Gu Yuan's eyes darted back and forth between the two in utter disbelief.
Damn it! A good-for-nothing, yellow-haired guy?! And his own daughter actively pursued him?!
The yellow-haired guy coughed twice: "It's the charm, you know..."
"Alright... alright... I'll accept this son-in-law today. You wait right here. I'll go to the kitchen... to prepare a red packet for you!"
"Officer, I swear, I really don't know anything! He was in pieces when he arrived..."
...
"Boss, ten oysters!"
Gu Yuan looked up from his grill. A yellow-haired guy walked towards his late-night barbecue stall.
"Ah, youth is great. You must have had a lot of fun tonight, haha!" Gu Yuan smiled at the yellow-haired guy, showing an expression that all men understood.
The yellow-haired guy also gave a lewd, knowing smile.
"Thanks for your business, handsome. How about this, I'll give you an extra grilled kidney later, on the house..." Gu Yuan spoke generously.
"Thank you, boss! Thank you, big brother..." the yellow-haired guy spoke with gratitude.
"We're all men..." Gu Yuan responded naturally, then prepared to barbecue the oysters and kidneys.
Just as he turned to barbecue the kidneys, his precious daughter, who was supposed to be in her dorm, walked over.
"Dad, let me introduce you. This is my boyfriend..."
Gu Yuan looked at his daughter holding the yellow-haired guy's hand, completely bewildered.
"This... is your boyfriend?"
"Yes!"
Gu Yuan looked at the yellow-haired guy. The guy looked at the oysters.
"I..."
"You f******..."
...
"I am the Heavenly Emperor, and I have a lovely daughter, the Seventh Princess."
"She said she wanted to see the mortal world. I couldn't refuse her, so I let her go..."
"Then... she told me."
"I was going to be a grandfather. The father was a mortal farmer named Xiao Yan."
...
"I am the Clan Chief of a large, powerful Family, and I have a lovely daughter."
"For... some reason... I had to send her to be fostered elsewhere."
"We hadn't seen each other for over ten years."
"When she finally returned..."
"She told me."
"I was going to be a grandfather!"
...
The ten thousand lifetimes of Reincarnation seemed to pass in an instant.
And yet, it felt like a very, very long time.
Gu Yuan opened his eyes, which were unfocused and hollow.
A single, clear tear slowly streamed down from the corner of his eye.
Pain.
Too much pain!
In the endless Reincarnation, his little cabbage... his precious Xun'er... was defiled by pigs countless times. In every conceivable scenario.
It almost drove him to complete despair in the Reincarnation.
The most, most, most despairing thing was...
Now that he had woken up and escaped the influence of the Reincarnation...
But...
That was real.
His little cabbage was really being defiled by that pig, Xiao Yan, right now, outside this trial!
What could possibly be more despairing than finding out that the nightmare you just had... was actually real?
"To hell with the Tuoshe Ancient Emperor Jade!" Gu Yuan suddenly roared, his voice cracking with despair.
[Inorin's Note: The "Tuoshe Ancient Emperor Jade" was the key to the final Dou Di's legacy, and the entire reason the Gu Clan originally sent Gu Xun'er to the declined Xiao Clan.]
If he had known this would be the outcome, he would never, ever have sent Xun'er to the Xiao Family, no matter what!
It was bad enough that he didn't get the item.
He even lost his daughter!
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