Chapter 21: The Destroyer's Arrival and a Humorous Diversion
The New Mexico desert, usually a picture of dusty tranquility, had officially become a cosmic war zone. Loki, proving he was indeed a chip off the old manipulative block, had sent the Destroyer to Earth. This hulking, faceless automaton was stomping through the tiny town, blasting everything in its path. Thor, still depowered, was desperately trying to protect Jane, Darcy, and Selvig. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, led by a very stressed Coulson, were trying to contain the damage.
Adam, who had managed to blend in as a particularly enthusiastic "emergency volunteer" (mostly by offering bewildered civilians oddly specific directions to the nearest, safest donut shop), watched the chaos unfold. "Alright, big guy. You want to destroy things? Let's make it a show. A very, very funny show."
[DAILY WISH DAYS ACCUMULATION: +1]
The Destroyer aimed a powerful energy blast at a fleeing family. Adam focused.
[WISH GRANTED: DESTROYER'S ENERGY BLAST TARGETS, AND COMPLETELY OBLITERATES, A GIANT FOAM ADVERTISING BANANA. COST: 120 WISH DAYS.]
Instead of hitting the family, the blast veered sharply, obliterating a giant, inflatable advertising banana that had been tied to a local car dealership. The banana exploded in a shower of foam and plastic, sending a comical, high-pitched squeak echoing through the town. The family, bewildered, stared at the banana debris, then at the Destroyer, then at each other, before resuming their panicked flight.
Coulson, watching from a safe distance, rubbed his temples. "Did that… did that banana just squeak?"
Suddenly, a piece of concrete, dislodged by the Destroyer's rampage, flew directly towards Adam. "Oh, for crying out loud. Not again with the 'funny saves' and the public humiliation."
[DANGER DETECTED FOR HOST! INITIATING RANDOMIZED LIFE-SAVING PROTOCOL.]
He felt himself trip, not over a rock, but over a conveniently placed, giant pile of cotton candy that had inexplicably materialized behind him. He landed with a soft thud, emerging covered in sticky, pink fluff, looking like a particularly disheveled marshmallow.
[HOST SAVED! CURRENT STATUS: EMBEDDED IN A MOUNTAIN OF MARSHMALLOWS, LOOKING ABSURD BUT UNHARMED. COST: 60 WISH DAYS.]
Adam spat out a piece of fluff. "Marshmallows? Really, System? You're getting very specific with your dessert-themed saves."
He shook his head, brushing off the stickiness. Coulson was trying to coordinate his agents, barking orders into his comms unit.
"Let's give him a little… encouragement."
[WISH GRANTED: S.H.I.E.L.D. AGENT COULSON'S COMMS UNIT EMITS SUDDEN, LOUD QUACKING SOUND. COST: 25 WISH DAYS.]
Coulson, mid-sentence, suddenly flinched. His comms unit, instead of his agent's voice, emitted a loud, unmistakable QUACK! He stared at it, then shook it, then glared at it as if it had personally offended him. "Did… did that just quack at me?!" he muttered, bewildered.
Adam grinned. "Yes, Agent Coulson. Yes, it did. The universe has a strange sense of humor. And a lot of rubber ducks."
The Destroyer continued its rampage, its targeting system locking onto a local ice cream truck. "Oh, no, you don't. Not the ice cream. That's a line even a cosmic automaton shouldn't cross." Adam focused, a new wish forming. He made the Destroyer's targeting system briefly highlight the ice cream truck as its primary threat, then, with a subtle nudge, shift its focus to a giant, inflatable hot dog on a nearby billboard.
The Destroyer, in a moment of apparent indecision, paused, then blasted the hot dog billboard into oblivion. The ice cream truck, miraculously unharmed, sped away.
Adam sighed in relief. "Crisis averted. The children of New Mexico can still have their sprinkles. You're welcome, tiny humans." He checked his wish bank. It had taken a hit, but it was worth it. The chaos was contained, the humor was high, and the Destroyer was about to meet its match.