THE SECRET LIFE OF HOSTEL WEIRDOS
CHAPTER : 2
The Unexpected Birthday Present
It was a Wednesday morning—one of those rare hostel holidays where the classrooms were silent, the corridors echoed with yawns, and every girl either vanished into her bed or wandered around like a zombie post-mass. The air smelled of leftover Maggie and Dettol, and most of the sisters were off at church or visiting family. All except one: the dreaded old Sister Agatha.
She wasn't evil—just... ancient, sharp-eyed, and equipped with a supernatural ability to assign the most annoying chores to whoever crossed her path. I, Zoya, had no intention of being that unlucky soul today.
Which is why I was "sweeping" the middle veranda, more like lazily shoving dust to the other side. Let that side's assigned girl figure it out. I was too tired, too bored, and too hungry to care. The sun was warm, and my mind wandered to more important things, like—where the hell were my friends?
I looked around, scanned the usual nooks: the washroom window ledge (where Kiara sometimes read), the abandoned classroom (where Aanya lowkey napped), and behind the hostel pantry (Rhea's secret snack spot). Nothing.
Then Mahi appeared—nosey as ever, clutching her toothbrush like a mic.
"Looking for your gang? I saw them go out the gate," she said, way too casually.
"Out the gate?" I blinked. "Did they take permission?"
She shrugged and wandered off. My stomach twisted with suspicion. Nobody just walked out the convent gate without a solid reason or a solid death wish.
A few minutes later, I spotted them. Marching in like ninja bandits—with BLACK MASKS on their faces.
"Where were you guys?" I hissed as they neared me.
"No time! Come with us," Rhea whispered urgently.
"To where?"
"Backside drying room. Come fast."
Before I could process, Kiara grabbed my arm and they literally dragged me away like I was being kidnapped for a crime I hadn't committed yet. We reached the dusty drying room, where an old wooden bed sat in the corner—usually where we dumped buckets and forgot about laundry.
Rhea pulled something from behind a bucket and handed it to me.
It was a tiny pink box wrapped in lined notebook paper, taped together with what looked like fevicol and... was that cotton for a bow?
"Happy Birthday!" they yelled in unison.
I blinked.
"But it's NOT my birthday?"
"Exactly," Aanya grinned. "Yours falls in Diwali vacation, so we're giving it now. Surprise, loser."
"Open it, open it!" Kiara practically bounced.
It was weird. THEY looked more excited than I felt. Like they already knew what chaos was about to unfold.
I started unwrapping it, peeling the paper with suspicion. Inside was a pink packet. The brand said "DOTT" and beneath it, in suspiciously fancy letters, were the words:
Vanilla Flavored Condom
My brain froze.
"WHAT THE—"
Before I could say anything, they exploded into laughter. Rhea was howling. Aanya was on the floor. Kiara was crying actual tears.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THREE?!"
"It's a birthday gift for your future, babes," Aanya winked. "You're welcome."
"Oh my God," I mumbled. "Please tell me this is a prank."
"Nope. It's very real. There's THREE inside."
They leaned forward, watching me like I was about to cut a wedding cake.
"Open one," Kiara whispered.
"NO."
"Please," they chorused.
"Absolutely not."
"Zoya. For science."
"Ugh... fine."
I sighed, opened the box, and pulled one out like it was a cursed relic. They handed me a toothbrush.
"Let's see how far it stretches!"
"Are you serious?! Whose toothbrush even is this?!"
"Does it matter?" Rhea said.
It did. A lot. But peer pressure is real.
So yes. I tested a condom using a mystery toothbrush. In a convent. With three devils in black masks.
When I finally threw the toothbrush out, I asked the obvious question:
"HOW did you even buy this? You're all minors!"
"We didn't steal it, Zoya!" Kiara defended.
Rhea explained their mission: she was the buyer, Kiara stood guard, and Aanya did the wrapping. Rhea nearly fainted when the cashier lady gave her the stink eye, and some creepy uncle stared the entire time.
Hence... the masks.
"Honestly, this is the dumbest, weirdest thing anyone has ever done for me," I said.
"And you love us for it," Kiara grinned.
Sadly... I did.
Even now, I still have that pink DOTT box. Untouched. Legendary.
Every time we talk about hostel life, we pull it out, wave it around, and laugh until we can't breathe.
Some people get birthday cakes. I got birth control and trauma.
Best. Gift. Ever.
***TO BE CONTINUED***