Jade
I screamed.
I gave voice to all my pain, frustration, resentment, anger, and the urge to cry.
In that scream, I shouted to the world all the contempt and hatred I felt at finding myself rejected and betrayed once again.
But this time I won't take it; I will bite, tear, and tear apart every piece I can see. I have no intention of giving in.
I will leave, that's for sure, but I will choose to do so.
The fact that I'm in the final makes me proud, a sign that I'm a winner, that I have talent and have demonstrated discipline, so I have nothing more to ask of myself.
Today, too, I gave it my all, I sent my message to Min-Ho and completed what I promised myself I would do.
The last piece is missing, my little flash of dignity: telling the Lee family to go to hell.
I'm happy Min-Ho decided to help me. I can't tell him anything, but he'll understand that I'm saving him too, and what little feeling there is between us.
It's fragile, a light just turned on, and I want to preserve it like a beautiful desert flower, protecting it from everything. Maybe one day it will be different... maybe...
I go back to the dressing room, freshen up, and return to the stalls.
Ari throws himself at me like a truck, and I find myself lost in his embrace.
"Sister, great sister. My Korean Jade has balls like that!" he says, hugging me tightly. "Are we going home, sister?"
I nod and pat her on the back.
"Aren't you among the finalists?"
"No, I'm the second one out, but even if I were the first, if you leave, I'll leave too. Fuck these misogynistic vermin."
I burst out laughing and hug her again.
"Who's going in for me?" I ask curiously.
"That bastard Ji-Ho."
I nod bitterly, but at least he got what he wanted.
I let her go and join the others, falling into complete silence, ignoring the flurry of comments and furtive glances directed at me.
Lee Su-Heok observes us all, pacing back and forth, and then stops beside me.
"What should I expect, Lee Yeona?" he asks me seriously.
I smile at him. He really is a beautiful actor, with that supernatural air that fascinates me so much.
"When he finishes reading the list, I'll ask him to say something. I know he's very good at his job, so pretend to be as surprised as possible, and we'll give the show a huge audience."
He nods, with the faintest hint of a smile.
"It's a real shame, though. But I accept your decision."
He gives me a small bow and walks away, while the others in line give me a puzzled look.
Maybe they didn't realize I meant it when I said I was leaving.
Filming begins, with the usual routine and pleasantries, until we're called to sit on the stage, on the ten finalists' stools. They start in tenth place, and as they progress, I realize I'm the second-place finisher in terms of votes and ratings.
I'm happy, I enter with a big smile and take my seat at number two, welcoming Choi Seung-Gi, a very talented member of the reds, with a huge round of applause. He's received top marks in every episode, and I admit he's really good, so I'm rooting for him as the leader of the new group he's forming or as a soloist.
When everyone is seated and the final greetings are supposed to begin, I raise my hand, attracting Su-Heok's attention, who looks puzzled.
"Did I forget something, Lee Yeona?" he asks, checking the paper in his hand.
I shake my head and stand up.
"Can I come closer? Can I talk?"
He nods and waves at me.
"I'd like to thank everyone, here in the studio, at home, on social media, and on the web in general, but I've decided to withdraw."
There's a noticeable buzz from the audience, but I raise my hand to command attention.
"I understand that this decision of mine may be met with some confusion and discontent, but I'm not taking it lightly. My heart is heavy right now, but I can't continue with the program. But I want to hug everyone, in every corner of the world, for the support, for the love, for the closeness they've shown me throughout the time I've been part of this contest. You've been wonderful, but for me, it's time to go."
"Can you explain the reasons behind your choice, Lee Yeona?"
I shake my head.
"I can only say that I'm going back to being Jade Taylor, an American from Los Angeles, who was lucky enough to have a little piece of her heart in Korea. And it's to this little piece that I want to give one last song, to remember who we are and what we want to be. May I?"
He nods and leaves the stage, while I raise a hand and the backing track begins to play.
It's "Storm," by Reb3ls, whose words ease my pain and caress my soul.
I got lost in the night,
I screamed out my pain,
no one came to save me.
Only shadows and silence,
that's what's in my heart.
Storm.
Cold.
Pain.
But then a light comes,
small and distant,
someone reaches out to me,
I know you're there.
I know you're there.
You have mastered the storm.
As I sing, in absolute silence, still at the center of the stage, not dancing or making a move, Jon Ho, Min-Ho, and Seo Joon have joined me, backing me up, rapping, and we duet in a magical atmosphere that moves me.
We finish the song, and I throw myself into Jon Ho's arms, crying. He remains still, distraught, but the other two envelop me in a multiple embrace, whispering sweet, comforting words.
"I have to say something," I murmur, sniffling. "Who's going to help me?"
Before Min-Ho can step forward, Seo Joon takes my hand, squeezes it tightly, and says,
"Let's go together, noona."
Nodding, I break free from their embrace, wipe my face, and bow to the audience, who has continued to applaud.
Smiling at my support, I speak again.
"Reb3llius!!! What happened today?" I shout loudly, making the audience clap. "How exciting, Reb3ls duetted with me. When will something like this happen again?"
Seo Joon laughs, winks, pats my hand, still holding it in his.
"Damn!" I murmur, wiping my cheeks again. "We're young, fragile, and the world around us is so chaotic that sometimes we get lost. I got lost, found myself again, and now I want to move on. With your help. I won't forget you, I don't want to. I love you all, truly. But from today, I'll only be Jade Taylor. Jade and no one else."
I enjoy another round of applause.
"Thank you, Jon Ho, for your wonderful voice, for the emotions you bring us; Seo Joon, you are the embodiment of sweetness and an exceptional artist, thank you from the bottom of my heart." I look at Min-Ho for the first time and bow. "Coach, I really don't know what to say, other than that I love your honesty, wisdom, and enormous talent. Thank you for accepting me on this talent show; I'm honored. And the next time we see each other, I'll be the one applauding you at a concert."
I give him a huge smile, then say goodbye to everyone again, pay my respects to Su-Heok, and leave the stage.