Jiya,s pov
I woke up at 9 in the morning today. I haven't woken up this early in a long time. I was surprised myself at how I woke up. My stomach was growling. Oh, I completely forgot. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday. I freshened up and stood in front of the dining table. My mom and dad were staring at me in shock. At first, I was surprised too – why are they staring at me like that? Then I realised – oh, I woke up early today. Mom was feeding dad. Seeing me, my mom came over and touched my forehead and cheek and said,
"Are you sick? Do you have a fever? Are you feeling unwell?"
I said,
"So many questions at once. I'm fine, I'm just hungry, that's why I woke up."
Mom said,
"I told you to eat last night. This is what happens when you sleep without eating. Why didn't you eat? Now just shut up and eat. These kids nowadays are so troublesome. I wonder what you'll do after marriage. How will you manage a household, who knows."
Like all Bengali mothers, my mom is the same. "Nasty child – doesn't shower properly, doesn't sleep properly, doesn't eat properly. Even the monkeys at the zoo are cleaner than you."
I swear, if I wake up early again like this, it's over. Mom kept scolding me. I quietly took my food and came back to my room. I'm eating on my bed. I was thinking, it's been so long since I saw the morning. After finishing my food, I opened my diary. I haven't written anything in it for a long time, so I thought I'd write something today.
It's a pink diary with lots of stickers on it. I've been writing in it for 12 years. For the last two years, I was just looking for my life's albatross. After two years, I found it. Let me see what I wrote last. When I open the diary, I realise that for the past 10 years, I've only written about Alex. So much time has passed, and I still haven't stopped loving that person. Time flies so fast. I still remember his first work. His first project became a huge hit. He became so famous in many countries. The whole world knew the Philippines differently because of him. But because of this, I'm scared too, what if someone tries to harm him. It's okay if I watch from afar, but I still wish for him to always be well.
Now I'll start writing:
"Date: 24/10/25. Dear Alex."
Wait – is today my birthday? I completely forgot. Birthdays are haram in Islam, so I stopped celebrating it three years ago. Besides, no one even remembers my birthday. Even though I celebrate everyone else's birthday nicely, no one really does mine properly. Still, on my birthday, I feel very happy. I just like it for no reason.
After a while, my phone rang. It was a call from bubu. A video call. I answered it and saw Sofy's mom.
"Asalamualaikum aunty, how are you?"
Aunty said,
"Walaikum assalam, dear. I'm fine. How are you? Is everyone at home okay? How's your dad now?"
I said,
"Yes aunty, Alhamdulillah, everything is going well. Aunty, when did you go to Australia?"
Aunty said,
"Don't even ask, dear. Your bubu kept crying, 'Mom, mom,' so I came. I feel lonely too. Your brother is busy with his wife, so your uncle and I came here."
I asked,
"Where's Sofy, aunty?"
Sofy said,
"Here I am – tadaaa!"
I asked,
"What are you doing?"
Sofy said,
"Forget all that, I have a surprise for you!!"
I asked,
"What surprise?"
Sofy said,
"3…2…1… You are going to the Philippines and mom will help you."
I was shocked. I didn't understand what just happened. I said,
"Say it again, what happened? I didn't understand."
Sofy said,
"Mom will give you the full money for the Philippines."
I was silent for a while listening to her words. I didn't know what to answer. Let her say it, but I won't answer. Because it's a huge amount. Then I tried to explain to her that it's too much, We talked about this topic for a while and then I cut the call. It's a lot of money. It's not possible. I told mom and dad about it once, and they also said it's a huge amount, how can we accept so much?
I talked with Dad and Mom about this for a while, then we had lunch together. Sofy keeps calling me. I know she's really worried about me because she knows everything about me from the very beginning. She knows how much I've struggled for this job. It has been my wish for so many days.
It's been 3-4 days since we last talked about this. One afternoon, I was lying down when Mom came into the room and just said one thing, "Your departure is final."
What?? Did I hear that right? How did this happen? What is happening with me? Did I really hear it correctly? Before I could say anything to Mom, she said, "You'll find out how it happened. Start getting everything ready." Then she left.
After a while, Sofy called. Sofy said, "What's up babe, my dudu. I've convinced your mom. Go, quickly start packing everything. Go to your love, go to Alex."
Tears started falling from my eyes. I really couldn't believe this was actually happening to me. I started crying loudly in front of her. I didn't even know how to thank her. I was just crying loudly. She told me, "You really love him, don't you? But you know he's Christian and you're Muslim. And the biggest thing is he's a celebrity. Nothing will ever be possible in the future. You've loved him for so long."
I closed my eyes tightly and answered, "10 years." She was just shocked. She herself didn't realise it had been so long since I started sharing these things with her. I said, "I just want to see him with my own eyes, that's the only reason I want to go there. Sofy, I can't even explain to you how much I love him. I've forgotten all the things that used to be my favourites. Because I've made all his favourite things my own – his favourite colour, favourite flower, everything. I've taken all the things he likes and made them mine, and that's how I've been living all these years. It's been 10 years, and there hasn't been a single second when I didn't think about his face. He's always in front of my eyes – his smile, his looks.
But one thing hurts a lot – I know I can never have him for myself. I will always drown in one-sided love. You know Alina, the lead actress of his series, she likes him. He never had a girlfriend in his life, but Alina was his first love and his first kiss. I don't hate her, but she is my first love's love. That's why I've accepted her too."
Sofy said, "Hold babe, hold. I know you love him so much, you feel so many things. But in reality, let him live his life as he wants. You're like the moon in the sky – you can only see him, but can't do anything else. Anyway, fulfil your heart's wish. Mom has sent you the money, check it."
I said, "Sofy." Tears fell from my eyes again. "These are such small words but still, thank you 🥹🫶."
Sofy said, "It's okay, aree janemannn ji le apni zindegi " .😘 (Oh darling, live your life)