A name isn't decoration, after all. A name is memory.
Memory of those who are no more. Of those who were once near, but now remain only in the sounds you pronounce to convince yourself they existed.
A name isn't a tool, it's a hook. A hook catching you to the past, to those you don't want to lose even after loss. A hook that won't let go until you tear the skin from your palm yourself.
This applies to everyone, or... no? There are always those who were shortchanged, whom fate left on the roadside, like an unnecessary ant that fell behind its swarm.
True, the name of one who isn't in the records of human history. No, rather, the name of one who was erased from it. Is this happiness, or punishment? Who knows, no one can know you better than you yourself. Even if you don't want it.
His name, like a blind spot in memory. The name of one who's always near, but as if dissolved in air.
Avaley Le Fay.
Yes, I made a mistake. A big one, irreparable. Dug a hole so deep in the past that no earth can fill it now. I could have prevented that incident. That murder of the elder, who spent his last moments at the mountain peak. Could have... if I hadn't listened, if I hadn't opened the door to that person. If only...
Though no, could it have been otherwise? He would've come anyway. Even uninvited, he always comes, always accomplishes what he planned. Without approval, without permission, without right.
And though I could no longer reach my creations after I'd spent more than half my strength on their very creation... one way still remained.
The person who sided with my enemy was called Edogawa Akira. He was the one capable of hearing my words. No, the one I allowed to hear. The one I allowed to see.
Why?
Because, having concluded a contract with Yahweh and become his "core," he became a mediator between me and him. And though I couldn't speak with Yahweh himself directly, I could with his core. Could, but... didn't dare.
I remained silent. Closed my eyes. Watched as Avaley dealt with the elder. Monstrously, cruelly, leaving no chance. I could have stopped it, could have saved him, thereby saving myself. Been understood by them.
"This is where your problem lies," the witch said proudly, cutting off my thoughts. "Your own doubts came back to bite you. They became your obstacle. With this you deprived yourself of the only chance to be understood. Ha-ha-ha-gh!"
And however much I wanted to object... she's right. Right about everything, I had nothing to say. I stood before an obvious fact, so naked that even lying to myself became shameful.
"Better tell us, how exactly could saving this decrepit old man have saved you yourself? We all want to hear! We all want to see this pathetic performance of insignificance!" she said with laughter, theatrically spreading her arms.
The performance continues. The curtain simply changes colors, repainting the scenery, as if that changes anything.
But everything's far more complex than it seems. Let's rewind. The moment when I just concluded the contract with Yahweh.
It all began with a person who desired power. Power capable of allowing him to achieve everything he wished. No, not that magic that grants wishes. The power of fists, of truth that breaks through bone and law. Power that makes them bow before you, as if you yourself are the law.
But... for what? A question that should be addressed not to him, but to me.
When I expanded my domains, creating infinite civilizations, separating them by hierarchy, placing over each a higher being with the title "True God," I lost power. Yes, I myself, by my own stupidity, didn't foresee that I could lose strength.
Because of this stupidity I lost connection with my creation. Sealed myself in my own space. Could only observe through the sphere of life. Without the right to interfere.
And after all, this was all planned. By that very person who advised me to expand the boundaries.
He also warned of a "threat." A false threat, a lure. So that I'd waste my strength, so that I'd make myself weak. So that this threat would become real.
That's why I concluded a contract with Yahweh. A deal by which he was supposed to bring all the others to me. I became for them a monster that needed to be destroyed, and he their hero. Their last hope.
People and gods, who just yesterday were Yahweh's enemies, sided with him. Gave their lives for the one they'd previously wished death upon.
The story told in their world sounded simple. About a guy who was humanity's enemy. About a guy who threw away lives like small change. And about the one who became their last hope.
And I... I became a threat to those I loved. Became a monster, only to save them from the real monster.
Ironic, right?
The elders... they were those who kept the memory of epochs. Those who passed knowledge from generation to generation. Those who could see a threat even before it took form. That's precisely why Yahweh had to find the one single person of this epoch.
But it was too late.
I, watching all this, could have prevented his death. Could have given Yahweh a chance to arrive first. Could have changed everything.
But didn't.
And now no one will ever know that Enua... was never the one you considered an enemy.