"This… has something to do with you."
Lan's voice still lingered in the air when Jie shifted slightly.
His tongue brushed the edge of his lip—
The sting came back.
A faint taste of blood still clung to his mouth.
It wasn't his.
It was Di's.
Back in the room, in that chaos, in that kiss he hadn't seen coming, he had bitten him. The taste—iron and sharp—still sat in his throat, as real as the cold wind now pressing against his skin.
He turned his head slightly, as if the act alone could help him breathe again.
But it couldn't.
His thoughts were a mess. Loud, disordered. Every time he blinked, he saw that moment again.
Di's eyes.
The weight in them.
The force of something finally breaking open.
—
"I don't know what he was thinking…" Jie said, voice hoarse.
"He's not like that. He's never like that."
He paused.
"At least… I always thought he wasn't."
His hands clenched unconsciously at his sides. Fingertips dug into his palms.
—
Lan stayed quiet beside him, not interrupting.
She waited.
She listened.
—
"He kissed me," Jie said, like he was still trying to make sense of the words himself.
"I didn't even… react in time."
"I was just—standing there. And then I ran."
He let out a small breath, part laugh, part exhale, nothing settled.
"Like a coward."
—
Rain began to fall.
At first, only a few drops, soft and uncertain, tapping lightly onto the pavement.
Lan quietly opened her umbrella, shifting a step closer to cover them both. She didn't say anything.
—
"He's always been there," Jie murmured.
"Always quiet, always steady. Never asked for anything. Just… there."
"I thought that's what friendship looked like."
—
The rain grew steadier, filling the silence with a quiet rhythm.
"I never realized he looked at me like that."
He lifted his gaze slightly, eyes unfocused.
"Maybe he always did."
"Maybe I just didn't want to see it."
—
His breathing caught. The weight in his chest shifted from confusion to something heavier. Regret? Guilt?
"I just thought he was… dependable. That he'd never change."
"But I guess I did."
—
"You didn't do anything wrong," Lan said softly.
"You just didn't know."
—
Jie didn't respond, but something in his expression cracked. His eyelids trembled slightly.
He wasn't angry.
He was lost.
And underneath it all—he felt ashamed.
—
"I'm not mad at him," he said after a moment.
"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
"Am I supposed to pretend nothing happened? Say something? What?"
He trailed off.
There were no good answers. Just a wall he had never thought he'd have to climb.
—
"You don't have to know right away," Lan said.
"It's okay to take time."
—
He let her words hang between them, too afraid to reach for them fully, too afraid not to.
"I'm scared," he admitted.
"I'm scared he won't look at me the same anymore."
"I'm scared… I won't know how to look back."
—
Lan didn't speak. She simply tilted the umbrella a bit further toward him.
—
Jie stood there, one shoulder damp where the rain had snuck through. The cold had already settled into his clothes.
But somehow, he didn't want to move.
Because standing here like this, not knowing anything, not having answers—
It felt… honest.
Painful.
But honest.
—
He looked up, watching the streetlights blur through the rain, and said quietly:
"After the rain, from now on… what will we become?"