"Jaime, this doesn't look like a good idea," Elia said worriedly as she watched him cling to a column in the training yard.
"It isn't!" He said cheerfully.
Even Oberyn looked wary, "Wouldn't this be better to do inside? Where there is no risk of you falling onto a sword and injuring yourself?"
Jaime straightened up a bit more, slightly wobbly on his roller skates, "This is fine."
"Maybe you should hold my hand?" Lysa offered, eyeing the skates like they were about to come alive and attack her.
"If Jaime wants to strap tiny carts to his boots, let him," Cersei rolled her eyes. "Father says that the best way to learn not to be a fool is to break your neck."
Catelyn and Elia gave her worried looks at that comment, probably wondering about their safety if their father is really telling her the Westerosi equivalent of 'Fuck Around and Find Out.'
Coincidentally, that is Jaime's motto for life, and right now he is about to Find Out.
"What's going on here?" The booming voice of Robert Baratheon interrupted their little circle.
The Stark and Baratheon children had appeared from their morning ride. Lyanna was still in a dress a slightly bit too short on her that showed her calves and the breeches she wore underneath, which Jaime was sure Lord Rickard would not be too happy about. Robert had an arm around Ned's shoulders, who was trying to diplomatically escape the bigger boy. Brandon had a cocky grin on his face, probably thinking he was about to trounce some younger kid in a spar for coolness points. Stannis was hanging at the back of the ground, but he was also the first to notice Jaime's odd boots.
"Lord Jaime, what are you doing?" Stannis asked, looking concerned at his boots.
"Gaining bruises and finding out if we can strap carts to shoes," Jaime answered cheerfully.
Ned gave him a look like he was bloody insane, "What?"
"Jaime has wonderful, stupid, insane ideas and inventions sometimes," Cersei drawled. "So we're all here to see if he's got a wonderful or stupid invention."
Jaime scowled at her, "The Printing Press was a fine idea! I just couldn't figure out how to make it!"
Cersei didn't look impressed at all, "I'm sure."
"I liked the rum," Elia defended him. "It tasted lovely."
"Thank you, Elia," Jaime said. He gestured at her for good measure, "See Cersei: Elia believes in me."
Unfortunately, gesturing at her means taking one hand off the column he was holding onto, and he wobbled aggressively.
Lysa surged forward to stabilise him, "Mayhaps you should do this away from the sharp weaponry, Lord Jaime?"
"I'm fine!" He said, slowly pulling away from the column. "See? No hands!"
"This is going to be amusing," Brandon Stark muttered to his younger sister with a smirk. Lyanna giggled in response, eager to see a southern lord fall on his arse.
"Jaime, please at least take my hand," Elia offered.
Robert snorted, "Yeah, Lannister, the pretty ladies want you to take their hands."
Lysa snapped her head over, eyes widening when she realised that Robert Baratheon had indirectly just called her pretty, and Jaime had to move away from her to avoid being knocked into.
"Woah!" He flung his arms out to stop himself from falling backwards, but Ned Stark was quicker, grabbing him by the shoulders and stabilising him.
"Sorry!" Lysa squeaked in mortification.
"Thanks," Jaime said. "It's fine, Lysa."
"This seems dangerous," Ned warned. "Are you certain you want to continue?"
"I think I can get it," Jaime said stubbornly.
"Alright," Ned nodded. "I'm letting go now."
Jaime barely wobbled as the other boy backed away, steadily getting it.
He had rollerbladed in his past life, he could even do a small handful of tricks on them. There was a Roller Drag Race event at his old club back in his past life and this one king that was about half his height had shoved a pair of skates into his hand and told him that he had to join in. He had a lot of fun that night, and he had glitter hair for a few weeks after that.
Jaime carefully bent his knees up and down a few times before he shakily pushed forward, rolling away from the column.
"Oh!" Elia gasped dramatically, covering her mouth with her hands.
Oberyn blinked in surprise, "You're doing it."
"Of course he is," Cersei said as if she wasn't just making fun of Jaime herself not five minutes ago. "He's my brother."
Jaime waddled forward on his skates until he was rolling in a straight line.
A straight line into a sparring dummy.
"Oh shit!" He cursed right before he crashed into the hay-filled body and crumbled to the ground.
He could hear several sources of laughter, including Robert Baratheon's and the wilder Starks.
"Here," Stannis offered a hand up. "You were doing well."
Jaime grinned and brushed off the dirt from his breeches, "Thanks. I just have to learn how to stop now."
"Yes," Catelyn said, eyeing him up and down. "Please do."
Jaime decided to take that as a compliment.
Standing upright once more, he tried again.
"Does he not know when to quit?" Jaime heard Ned ask his sister.
"He's very stubborn, but usually only with things he can make work," She replied. "Perhaps you should spar, Jaime adores using unconventional moves."
What Cersei means is that Jaime has trained until he dropped to copy the moves that Natasha Romanoff once did on screen. His biggest pride is knocking his Uncle Kevan on his arse and destabilising his balance by wrapping his legs around his throat and pulling his arm backwards. That was the moment that people started seeing him as a very possible future master swordsman and fighter.
This time, Jaime stops while moving but nearly topples over and has to plant his hands on the ground to stop himself from breaking his teeth on the stone floor.
It takes several minutes, but eventually, Jaime managed to make a loop around the courtyard and stop without falling.
"Ta-da!" Jaime gestured proudly, "A little bit of practice and I'll be zooming!"
Lyanna's eyes sparkled, "I want some."
" No ," Ned and Brandon spoke in tandem.
"I want a pair too," Oberyn said.
Cersei scoffed, "I will be the first one to have them because Jaime is my brother."
"Sure," Jaime agreed, knowing that she'll feel embarrassed if he said that he first needed to check with the shoemaker and blacksmith to see if they could even make more.
"I'd also like to have some," Catelyn declared. "It seems so much quicker to get about with."
"Cat!" Lysa seemed slightly scandalised by her sister. "Father wouldn't like them."
"Uncle would love them," Catelyn countered. At the mention of the Blackfish, Lysa looked more interested in having her own pair of skates.
"Do you think I could have them too?" Elia asked Jaime softly. "It'll be so much easier to get around Sunspear with them."
Jaime thinks that he may have accidentally created a Roller Skate Revolution.
He has zero regrets.
A cat ran across the courtyard, a small kestrel falcon in its mouth.
Jaime immediately turned towards the entryway that connected the training yard to the main courtyard, frowning.
"So, Lannister will you get me those cart-boots of yours too?" Robert was talking, but Jaime wasn't listening.
He pushed himself to roll forward, towards the main courtyard.
"Lannister?" Robert called.
Jaime stood at the entryway. He could hear something in the distance, he thinks.
"Jaime, is everything alright?" Cersei asked, concern in her voice.
"The Arryns have arrived," He said, voice sure.
"What?" Lyanna said, "No, they haven't. They would've sent a runner to announce their presence."
Jaime can smell the ash from here, and he's not the only one. A cat ran into the courtyard, sneezing and disgruntled.
"Not if the King told them not to," He realised. "They're trying to catch Father out."
"The king wouldn't do that," Ned said, eyes flickering warily towards where the procession would enter. "That's not very honourable."
Cersei bit her lip, "The king has insulted our lady mother to her face and laughed when our father took offence."
"Lady Lysa, Lady Lyanna," He said, looking at the youngest of the group and the one least presentable, making his voice urgent. "Could you please run inside and find my parents or any adult lord or lady? The king will be displeased if they take too long to realise they've arrived. Split up if you must, but be swift."
Lady Lyanna eyes flickered between him and the entryway, before turning on her heel and running inside, Lysa on her heels; they could see the girls split up as they entered the building with Lysa going left and Lyanna right. Lyanna seemed to understand the danger that an empty courtyard could bring and had the sense to make haste.
It made Jaime wonder where the reckless Lyanna who ran away with Rhaegar Targeryan came from. He could see hints of her now, but she was also not a stupid girl, just a spoiled one. She must have been very desperate to escape Robert if she willingly went with a Targaryen.
If she went willingly.
Jaime knew she had married him, but The Seven know that it may have been not of her own choice.
He wishes, for her sake, that it was.
Jaime could vaguely hear the sounds of hoofs now, and a wheelhouse rolling across stones.
"Shit," He swore and he practically fell to the ground in his haste to remove his skates. Aerys would definitely take offence if he was wearing them to greet the king.
Cersei crouched beside him and yanked his left skate straight off, leaving him with both socked feet free.
Now what? He didn't have any boots.
Ned ran over with a pair of riding boots, "These are Lyanna's spares. If you pull your breeches over them, nobody will notice."
"Thank you," Jaime said as he shoved them on.
As soon as he was upright, they all ran to line up in the courtyard. The second they skidded into position, the first horse could be spotted.
"Damn," Brandon said. "How the hells could you tell that they were coming?"
Jaime straightened, "I heard them. Some parts of the Rock echo better than others, and if you have practise you can stand at the top of the Rock and hear the echoes from the lower levels."
Cersei gave him a weird look, which Jaime brushed off. He knew that he had better hearing than her, Seven knows that he is far more sensitive to stimuli.
The Targaryen and Arryn banners approached until they stood right in front of them, dismounting from their horses and wheelhouses, and the group of children dropped down to the lowest they could bow their heads, kneeling patiently.
Boots approached, and then a scoff.
"Is this our welcome?" Aerys Targaryen said, staring down at them in distaste. "Children?"
They took that as their cue to stand up again.
King Aerys was not pleased, though for his orchestrated insult going array or for it going right, Jaime couldn't tell. His silver blond hair was long and slightly greasy, but well-groomed. He didn't look insane or like the King Scab he would one day be. He was only halfway through his rule, and while he did look like a deeply unpleasant man to be around, he did not look capable of attempting to burn Kingslanding.
In fact, if Jaime was being truly honest, he kinda reminded him of his old Aunt Hannah's husband, Marcus, who he would argue with at every family dinner because he refused to take his pride pin off. Jaime had hated that man, but he hadn't wished him dead.
The Queen Rhaella and her son, Rhaegar, stood obediently behind the king, blank pleasant masks in place,
Seven kingsguard stood defending their king, and Jaime shivered at the knowledge of what these men had stood aside for in the name of honor .
Lord Arryn, standing behind the royal
"Welcome to Caterly Rock, Your Grace. Our apologies at the lack of ceremony," Jaime said, stepping forward. "Your runner must have gotten quite lost. We have been awaiting your arrival eagerly and luckily noticed your approach in time. Runners have been sent to retrieve our parents, but they are on the other side of the Rock, so we have come to greet you."
Please be believable. Please be believable. Please be believable.
"Hm," Aerys sneered. "Lucky."
He looked Jaime up and down, "You have Joanna's looks. Which twin are you? The daughter or the son?"
Jaime could feel Cersei stiffen up behind him, but Oberyn put his hand on hers to calm her for the insult they all knew the king had just paid him.
"I am my father's son, Your Grace," Jaime replied, a silent reminder that he wasn't just his mother's child. "Jaime Lannister, Heir to Casterly Rock and the Westerlands."
Aerys eyes swept over the rest of them, "And the rest of you must be my lords' heirs and daughters. From Winterfell to Dorne, it seems."
The Starks and the Martells inclined their heads at the acknowledgement the king paid them, full of grace despite the thinly veiled dislike of the king.
Wow, exactly like 'Uncle' Marcus when he talked about 'those types' at Passover Seder while eyeing Jaime's patchwork jacket. The resemblance was truly uncanny.
"Yes, Your Grace," Tywin Lannister's voice drawled behind them. "We have many guests under our roof."
Jaime was not the only one who visibly relaxed now that their parents had arrived. Poor Stannis had practically disappeared behind Steffon Baratheon once the man had come to stand between his sons and the king. Both Oberyn and Elia stood behind their mother's skirts as the Princess stared down the king. Hoster Tully had left Lysa to take shelter within the Rock and stood tall behind his eldest daughter, reminding them that family came first with the Tullys. Rickard Stark had rested one hand on each son's shoulder, physically calming his oldest son and supporting his middle son. Jaime's own mother had pulled each twin to her as Tywin approached the king.
The lines in the sand were clear. No house was happy at the stunt that Aerys had pulled and the way that their children were being treated.
Jaime truly hoped that his father could soothe any ruffled feathers, because this was a very clear statement on the current Targaryen rule.
Instead of the Great Houses of Westeros being all gathered for the first time in many years at the Tourney of Harrenhal, it was in Casterly Rock, nearly a decade prior to when they were supposed to gather and realise that they couldn't be ruled by dragons any longer.
The Tourney for Prince Viserys' birth and the Tourney at Storm's End were supposed to slowly guide them to their conclusions, with Harrenhal being that last insult that sent them gathering their armies.
And they had only gathered because Jaime had saved Joanna Lannister's life by revealing a traitor.
Jaime is very suddenly realising that he is Finding Out what happens when he Fucks Around and saves a single life in The Song of Ice and Fire.
Oohhh… He may be in trouble.