Many people thought that if u die countless times, you'll eventually grow numb to it, that the fear will fade, and you'll eventually overcome the fear of death. But i know it's a lie, or maybe there is something wrong with me. After dying 999th time, i still claws at my soul , i still flinched when death comes to me. Perhaps it's the terror of being forgotten..
No one really knows this world better than i do, i've watched countless wars, i've witnessed human goes againts each others throat to survive, a father who sold his daughter by marry her off to guy who has the same age as him, brutal murder, gruesome death of ill fated and i ... survived it all.
Perhaps the burden of carrying this finally got to me, but when i looked back , it always did, but i? could not do anything about it , i have to endure it all because death doesn't even welcome me.I look around and see shadows where there should be friends, i reach out but only cold wind breeze over me. Immortality has consumed me whole, but to keep my sanity, i have hope, hope that i could ascend to heaven. Even if its tiny bit of hope, it became my fuel for living. Because after all, i could not turn
One thing i hate ,is being seen as a pitiful woman, so i wear my mask, and many bestowed me name. Sometimes the gentle healer, sometimes the graceful dancer, sometimes the quiet artist . I hide my true self beneath every layer, because if i was ever discovered what i really am.. the whispers would turn into shouts , the shouts to rage.