I used to believe that the worst pain was silence, that painful gap between words that seeps into your bones. However, I was mistaken. When everything breaks and you're left standing barefoot on the broken pieces, betrayal is the worst kind of suffering.
I didn't get much sleep.
I felt like a ghost when Calista knocked that morning, with the fog still hanging on the windows. I let her in after putting on a cardigan on over my nightgown.
She dropped her handbag as soon as she saw me and drew me into an embrace.
"Oh, honey," she muttered. "I'm here."
I sobbed and told her everything. The anniversary dinner. The empty chair. Coming home to find his car in the driveway and following laughter to our bedroom. Zirelle's naked back. Cassian calling her "darling."
"They're monsters," Calista said, jaw tight. "And they're going to pay."
"It's not just the affair," I said. "It's the gaslighting. Making me think I was paranoid, imagining things."
"You weren't imagining anything. That's abuse, Sera. You gave him everything, and he destroyed it with your best friend."
"Former best friend."
We sat with coffee, talking in hushed tones like conspirators. But my mind felt too shattered for clear thinking.
"You need rest," Calista finally said. "Time to breathe. You don't have to decide everything today."
"Thank you for coming."
"You think I'd let you go through this alone? I'm not just here for comfort, Sera. I'm here for war."
After she left, I tried to clean, to distract myself. But the house felt wrong, too quiet, too clean. Every surface a lie.
I was lying in the guest room when I heard the front door open.
Cassian.
His footsteps echoed down the hall, casual, like he hadn't destroyed everything the night before. He knocked softly on the door.
"Seraphina."
I said nothing.
He stepped inside, face composed. No remorse in his eyes.
"There's something you should know," he said.
Dread crept down my spine. "What now?"
He inhaled. "Zirelle's pregnant."
The words gutted me.
I couldn't breathe. My mind flew to all those mornings crying over negative pregnancy tests. To the nights he held me, saying he wasn't in a rush, that love was enough.
"You knew how much I wanted a child," I whispered. "You said you weren't ready. That we should take our time."
"I didn't plan for this. It just happened."
"It just happened? You don't accidentally make a baby, Cassian. You chose her. You chose to lie, to betray me in every way possible."
He stayed silent.
"I'm moving out," I said.
"You're leaving?"
"I'm stepping away. But don't get comfortable. I'm not filing for divorce."
He blinked. "What?"
"You don't get to be free. You don't get to ride off into the sunset with her and play happy family while I disappear quietly."
"What are you trying to do, punish me?"
I smiled, cruel and empty. "No, Cassian. I'm just getting started."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you broke every vow, told every lie, and now you think you can just walk away? You think I'll make it easy?"
His face hardened. "Sera, be reasonable..."
"Reasonable?" I laughed, the sound bitter. "Was it reasonable when you gaslit me for months? When you made me think I was losing my mind?"
"I never meant for it to go this far."
"But it did. And now she's pregnant, and you want me to what, disappear? Sign papers and pretend this marriage never happened?"
"We could work something out. A settlement..."
"Cassian, I don't want your money. I want you to go through what I have gone through.
His body shifted uneasily. "What do you want from me?"
"Bear in mind that the woman you left behind is aware of every secret you have ever shared with her. All of your business dealings, vulnerabilities, and lies that have shaped your existence.
"You wouldn't..."
"Try me."
Between us, the quiet was piercing and oppressive.
Quietly, "This isn't you," he said. "This rage, this retaliation. You're not that person.
"You're right. The lady you married would have pleaded, cried, and perhaps even granted you forgiveness. However, that woman died yesterday night after catching her husband and best friend in our bedroom.
"Sera..."
"I had complete faith in you. My future, my goals, and my heart. I had faith in you and us. And for what purpose did you discard everything? Several months of excitement?"
"It's more than that."
"Is it? Or did you simply get tired with your devoted wife and decide that the grass was greener?"
His hands brushed across his hair. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me. Please explain your reasoning behind this.
"Sera, we drifted apart. We started to become strangers.
"You withdrew, so we became strangers. Because you stopped speaking to me and sharing your life with me. Instead of focusing on us, you went directly to her.
"She understands me."
"She understands your status and bank account. Don't mistake that for love.
"You don't know her."
"I knew her for years, Cassian. I know exactly who she is."
His jaw tightened. "This isn't going to change anything."
"You are right. Nothing can change what you did. But everything influences what I do next.
"And what's that?"
Pulling my cardigan tight, I got to my feet. "You'll find out."
"Sera, wait..."
"No. You had an opportunity to wait. You had an opportunity to speak, to resolve the issue, and to be truthful.
You opted for secrets and lies instead.
"I still love you."
The words silenced me. I looked back at him.
"No, you don't. You wouldn't have done this if you loved me. You wouldn't have rushed to her when things got tough if you truly loved me. Love does not destroy. Love is not treacherous. A person who is in love doesn't stand in a doorway and watch their world fall apart.
"I made a mistake..."
"You erred in a thousand ways. You chose her over me every single day for months. Cassian, this was not a moment of weakness. Building a life with someone else while keeping me in the dark was a planned move.
I made my way to the door.
"I hope you sleep well," I responded, "knowing the woman you left behind is about to become your biggest nightmare."
"What does that mean?"
I gave a final smile. "It means the war is just beginning."
With that, I walked out of the room, out of the life we had built.
Not out of the war, though.