Ah shit, here we go again!
Xu Zheng cursed internally. What the hell kind of freak setup was this?
Why the hell did it feel like the flute Ganyu picked up was directly linked to his body—down there?!
What kind of crackhead mechanic was this?!
Meanwhile, Ganyu had no clue her innocent fiddling had Xu Zheng screaming internally like a banshee.
She kept twirling the flute in her hands, cool and smooth to the touch. "Mmm… Feels nice."
Xu Zheng couldn't take it anymore. He snatched the flute out of her hands, immediately feeling relief as his body calmed the hell down.
Ganyu blinked, startled. Did… did her little disciple just get mad?
Was it because I played with his flute and he didn't like that?
"Disciple, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have played with yours."
"???"
Master, please! Don't say things like that out loud. It sounds so damn wrong!
Xu Zheng took a deep breath and said, "It's fine. It's not your fault. It's mine."
He clutched the flute himself—nothing. No weird feelings.
So it only acted up when someone else touched it.
That thing was dangerous. Xu Zheng wanted to stash it somewhere safe. But where? No place felt secure enough!
If someone stole it, he'd die from overstimulation!
Just thinking about it makes my balls crawl.
After some thought, he decided to keep the flute on him for now.
It had a deep violet hue, looked like it was made of bamboo.
"Purple Bamboo Flute," he named it. Simple and fitting.
Size-wise, it was still manageable for carrying around. So, for now, it stayed with him.
Then—ding!
[Affection +10. 10 Primogems awarded.]
Xu Zheng looked up at Ganyu. Damn, milking affection points off her is too easy.
Compared to the grind in Genshin? This was gold. Real-life Ganyu was basically a walking weekly boss.
Still worried about leaving Xu Zheng home alone, Ganyu brought him along to Yuehai Pavilion.
Of course, Ganyu wasn't the only one working there. As a major political hub of Liyue, plenty of people roamed its halls handling various matters for the Qixing.
As Ganyu walked through the pavilion with Xu Zheng in tow, people definitely noticed the little "Mini Ganyu" trailing beside her.
But her thousand-year-old aura of please don't talk to me kept them at bay. They just nodded politely and kept walking.
Eventually, Ganyu reached her office, set Xu Zheng down gently and said, "Xiao Xu Zheng, stay put. Don't run around. I'll buy you new clothes tonight."
"Okay."
Even if she didn't say that, he had no plans to run wild.
He respected her. Ganyu had been upholding her contract with Rex Lapis for over a thousand years. Xu Zheng couldn't even wrap his head around working that long.
Is being a workaholic her fetish or something? A thousand years of paperwork? That's some serious masochism.
But hey, he respected it.
Sitting quietly, he dove into his system interface.
First, he checked the Coconut Milk status. Yup—confirmed. The one Ganyu brought really was the milk from Wang Xiaomei.
Next, he checked his Primogem stash. Twenty gems.
One pull costs 160.
You greedy bastard of a system!
Where were the dailies?
[Daily Missions Updated]
Today's Tasks:
Play a tune using the Purple Bamboo Flute.
Get Ganyu to genuinely praise your playing.
Crossdress for a full day.
Help an old lady cross the street.
[Each mission rewards 10 Primogems. Complete all for bonus 20 Primogems.]
He barely had time to scream before another alert popped.
[Personal Archon Quest Unlocked]
Progress: 0.000001%
Note: Salt Archon and ******** (Insufficient Permission)
"What do you mean insufficient permission?!"
No answer, of course.
Xu Zheng remembered the Salt Archon—Havria—had been betrayed by her own followers.
Not powerful among gods, but still way above mortals. And yet, stabbed in the back by her own people.
Tragic.
Anyway, fuck the Archon quests for now. He was a man of practical needs.
Time to do those dailies.
First: play the damn flute.
Which was, unfortunately, attached to his… you know.
Blowing the flute took on an entirely new meaning.
He suppressed the cringe and decided to just get it over with.
Luckily, he'd learned some basic flute skills in his past life. Not good enough to charm the masses, but at least it wouldn't sound like a dying goose.
He blew.
Immediately, Ganyu furrowed her brow.
Shit. I'm disturbing her.
He tugged at her skirt. "Master, can I go outside for a bit?"
Ganyu ruffled his hair, hesitant. She didn't want him wandering off, but keeping him stuck here would probably fry his tiny brain.
She sighed. "Fine. But don't go far."
"Got it." He nodded.
Outside, he practiced in the courtyard. The sound of his flute drifted through the air.
People passed by, sparing a glance. Just a cute kid blowing a flute—nothing unusual.
Though many noticed his clothes. Exactly like Ganyu's. Just kid-sized.
Baiwen passed through on her way to report to Ganyu.
She entered the office and handed over some documents.
Ganyu took them, but her mind was elsewhere.
"Baiwen, is there… a child in the courtyard?"
She was clearly worried about Xu Zheng. Too busy to check herself, but on edge nonetheless.
Baiwen nodded. "Yes, there's a little boy out there."
She paused, gears turning rapidly.
Ganyu had just adopted a child husband yesterday. Today, a mini version of her was wandering the yard.
Coincidence?
Recently exposed to light novels and saucy booklets, Baiwen's brain went into overdrive.
Could it be…?
Ganyu relaxed visibly. "Good."
Baiwen looked at her, curiosity winning out. "Lady Ganyu… is that your sister?"
Ganyu paused her pen. Shook her head.
Before she could answer—
"Wait… is it your daughter?"
Baiwen's eyes widened. "Yes! That must be it!"
If Yae Miko or Yinger were here, they'd already be drafting volume one of Ganyu's Forbidden Discipline—a light novel full of blushes, misunderstandings, and steamy footnotes.
Some people die. Others simply get written into erotica.