If there's one thing I love more than sleep, it's yakisoba.
Especially the cheap kind from the convenience store, microwaved for exactly 2 minutes, eaten in complete silence while watching reruns of supernatural cooking shows.
So naturally, it really sucked when a girl crashed through my window and tried to cut my head off.
FWOOOSH!
The first katana missed by inches.
I blinked, still chewing.
"Uh," I said, "can I help you?"
She didn't answer.Instead, she somersaulted over my table like a damn ninja ballerina, slashed again, and knocked my yakisoba onto the floor.
That was the real crime.
I dodged the second strike on reflex—guess my martial arts classes weren't a waste—and grabbed a chopstick as a weapon. I didn't think it'd work.
It did.
I jabbed her in the wrist.She flinched, stumbled back, and I kicked the table leg so hard it flipped—catching her right in the knees.
She fell flat with a dull thud.
Silence.
A strand of long black hair drifted down, landing on the last surviving noodle.
"You're awake."
She blinked groggily, tied to a chair in my kitchen.
Her eyes were crimson—seriously, actual red, like cursed rubies. She looked maybe my age. Seventeen, tops. Black hair in a side ponytail, traditional uniform, twin sheaths now safely on top of my fridge.
She looked around. "...You didn't kill me?"
"I don't usually kill people who break my window," I said. "But I considered it."
"You're supposed to be dead," she muttered. "This isn't right."
"I get that a lot."
She squinted at me. "Are you… Reiji Kisaragi?"
"Yep," I said, popping open the instant ramen I made five minutes ago. "You want soy sauce flavor or miso?"
"...What?"
"I figured you were hungry after the acrobatics."
Her mouth opened. Closed. Opened again.
"You're supposed to die if I fail," she whispered. "But you didn't. That's impossible."
I slurped some noodles.
"That's kind of rude. You didn't even say hi before trying to murder me."
Her name, as it turns out, was Akari Saionji.She was the first assassin sent by something called the Obsidian Guild. No one knew who gave the order—just that I had a bounty so large entire clans were mobilizing.
"Why me?" I asked.
"I don't know," she admitted, eyes down. "They said you were dangerous. That you had to be erased."
"And now?"
Her cheeks burned red.
"…I think I love you."
I froze. "...Huh?"
Her face twisted in horror. "I—I didn't mean to say that! I mean, I meant it, but not—it's the curse!"
"What curse?"
"The Contract Curse. If we try to kill you and fail…" She gritted her teeth. "We fall in love. Deep, violently, painfully in love. I hate it."
She trembled. "I hate that your hair is kind of nice. That you smell like mint and soy sauce. That I want to cook breakfast for you and stab every other girl who looks at you."
"Wow," I said.
"What?"
"I mean… That's a lot for a first date."
[Assassin #1 has failed. Contract curse activated.][Relationship Status: Murderously in Love.][Warning: Six more are on their way.]