"Lotus! Breakfast's ready!" a voice rang from behind the door. "I made pancakes!"
I groaned, dragging the pillow over my head. "He's too cheerful for someone who eventually murders me," I muttered.
"Come on, lazy! Iris is already halfway through hers!"
With a sigh of reluctant acceptance, I pulled myself out of bed and padded into the hall.
The breakfast table was small, sunlight slanting across plates stacked high with golden-brown pancakes. At the far end sat a tiny girl with braids and an oversized t-shirt that said Magic is Real. She had syrup on her chin and a suspicious look in her eyes.
"You're staring at me," she said.
"...No, I'm not?"
She narrowed her eyes. "That's what a sus adult would say."
"I'm seventeen."
"Old."
"Okay, wow."
Luca chuckled from the kitchen, pouring juice. "She's like this with everyone. It's how she shows affection."
"This is affection?" I muttered, stabbing a pancake.
"She said if I ever bring home someone boring, she'd throw cereal at them," Luca added.
Iris pointed her fork at me. "I still might."
I stared at this very loud, very small child. This is the kid I'm supposed to kidnap later in the story?
There was a beat of silence before I spoke. "No way. No one in their right mind would even touch a gremlin like this."
She threw a napkin at me.
[You deserved that one.]
I ended up helping with the dishes. Not because I was trying to be a good person or anything — Luca just handed me a sponge and smiled like a saint. I hated how likable he was.
Once the plates were done (and I survived three more of Iris's judgmental stares), Luca clapped his hands. "Alright! Time to feed the birds, water the herb garden, and go over sword drills!"
"Sword drills?" I echoed. "That's normal here?"
"You're a noble's son. You've been training with me since we were ten," Luca said cheerfully. "You forgot?"
"Uh, temporary amnesia?" I tried.
He looked concerned. "Wait, really?"
I gave him a thumbs-up. "Nah, just messing. Let's go stab some air or whatever."
Luca had to meet his tutor after that, so I was left to roam the estate. That's when I discovered:
1. The library was three floors tall.
2. There were hidden sweets in the second drawer of the study desk.
3. Iris was training her pet duck to attack on command. (Like, what?)
"He bites people who lie," she informed me proudly. I have never moved faster in my life.
Dinner passed in a blur of conversation. Luca was talking about a "bandit scare on the east road" and how his father wanted him to visit next week to help with patrols.
I half-listened, mentally calculating how long I had before the plot spiraled into disaster.
After dinner, I flopped onto my bed, staring up at the wooden ceiling. So far, the day had been… honestly kind of nice. Calm. Warm.
Which made it worse.
Because I knew this wasn't how the story ended.
This wasn't the kind of world where people like me got to stay happy.