Chapter 59: The Welcome Gift for Castoria
Huh, a welcome gift?
Artoria froze.
Are city people really this polite and enthusiastic, even giving gifts to their new seatmates?
She had never heard of such a rule before.
If this was part of city etiquette, wouldn't she have to prepare a return gift of equal value?
"Cough…"
Artoria suddenly stiffened in panic.
What should I do, I didn't know there was such a rule in city schools, so I didn't prepare anything!
If she got looked down on for not having a return gift, it could lead to being mocked as a rude country girl, isolated, gossiped about, given awful nicknames, and eventually become the target of daily bullying.
It might even… escalate into a horrifying school massacre like in Carrie — the cursed girl!
Artoria took a deep breath.
Please, seatmate, for the sake of peace in this school, even if you give me a dead bug, I'll use an eraser from my bag as a return gift!
"I know Artorias usually like food the most, so I specially prepared some food and drinks for you."
Eikou didn't seem to notice the storm of thoughts raging inside Artoria's head.
He pulled out a Western-style dining set from his desk and handed it to her with both hands.
Artoria froze instantly.
Why does he have a full Western dining set in his desk? Why does he have food and drinks prepared—what on earth do they even study at this school?!
But what Eikou said was right—she really did love eating and drinking.
Even Mana Prism was delicious to her, but what she loved most was sweets, especially chocolate—if it was chocolate, it would be the best, the best, the best ever!
"Could it really be chocolate?"
Artoria's green eyes lit up instantly.
"Oh oh, you like chocolate?"
Eikou laughed,
"Ha ha, what a coincidence, what I made has a little something to do with chocolate."
EHHHHHH, it's really sweets?!
Just imagining that rich, sweet flavor melting in her mouth almost made Artoria drool.
She quickly wiped the corner of her mouth, her green eyes staring at the dining set, filled with anticipation.
"People in Academy City are really kind, preparing delicious food for an ordinary stranger like me…"
"Let's open it now, ha ha, I wonder what it'll be."
Eikou deliberately acted mysterious as he opened the lid of the dining set.
And what appeared in front of her was——
"It's Super Spicy Mapo Tofu and Oolong Tea!"
What the hell is this!!
How was that a "coincidence"? The result was a dish completely unrelated to chocolate, not a single trace of cocoa, just pure, pure, pure, pure flaming red spicy hell!
"This is the Mapo Tofu I made for the home economics exam last time. After the chocolate failed, it even got a perfect score."
So that's the "connection"? No, this was already the indirect of an indirect—basically no relation at all!
Seriously, how did this mysterious red X lump get a perfect score? What kind of culinary tastes do city people even have these days? What do you normally eat?!
"Uwaa, it smells so spicy…"
Staring at the hellish dish, Artoria's fear was obvious.
No way… just smelling it already burned her nose; if she actually ate it, she'd probably die on the spot.
Better just grab the Oolong tea and call it a day.
"Pfft—!"
But the moment she opened the Oolong tea bottle, a wave of spiciness blasted straight into her face.
What the heck, why is the drink even spicier than the Mapo Tofu—are you sure this is really Oolong tea?!
"Ah, sorry, looks like I grabbed the wrong one…"
Even Eikou coughed from the spicy fumes coming out of the bottle,
"The colors are the same, so I accidentally picked up the Oolong tea we use for parties instead of the real one."
"???"
Little Artoria was stunned, mentally shell-shocked.
What on earth do you guys usually do here—there are even different 'modes' for Oolong tea? Is this some unique local custom of big cities?!
"Sir Eikou, this is your fault."
The blond-haired boy behind them suddenly spoke up,
"Sorry, young Our King. Sir Eikou doesn't have much experience dealing with Artoria, so he thought 'as long as it's Artoria, she can eat anything'—that's a false assumption."
That's exactly right, just because I love to eat doesn't mean I can eat anything!
Artoria thought bitterly to herself.
"Super Spicy Mapo Tofu might be a bit too much for you, but as an apology, please accept this."
The blond-haired boy took out a plate of pale, wet, buttery mashed potatoes.
"As compensation, you can have all of this."
This looks even worse, I can't eat a single bite of that!
Artoria roared inside her mind.
She was already on the verge of smashing her head into the boys in front of her.
Damn it, you talked about chocolate and got my hopes up, and in the end, it's just two meaningless X-shaped abominations. What kind of life do the Artorias over here live, why is it even more miserable than mine?!
"Ha ha ha ha ha!"
Oberon, who was sitting in front of them, burst out laughing uncontrollably.
That laugh immediately sobered Artoria up.
Clearly this wasn't a city custom — these idiots simply have something wrong with their brains!
"Alright, now it's my turn,"
Tristan quietly took out a boxed game cartridge and said: "This is my treasure with Sir Lancelot, the pale moonlit silhouette forever in my heart, the pinnacle JRPG masterpiece 'Love Sleeping 4: Golden Edition', please accept——"
Before he could finish speaking, red spears suddenly shot out from the podium, impaling their collars and pinning them to the back wall; even Oberon couldn't escape.
"What on earth are you people doing, stop bullying the transfer student — and daring to display food and drink in my class, how long do you think you'll get to live?"
Scathach scolded coldly.
"We're not bullying the transfer student," Eikou said seriously, "we're doing this sincerely to welcome her."
"Welcoming someone with such cruelty — if you actually bullied others I wouldn't even dare to imagine it. Bad seeds like you must be crushed right now."
"Why is this being pinned on me, I literally did nothing!" Oberon wailed pathetically.
"Guilty by association."
Scathach said coldly,
"Besides, you're always mixing up with those guys, you always give off a slightly gloomy vibe — killing you would never be wrong."
"You can't treat me like that!"
Oberon screamed.
"..."
Seeing the people nailed to the wall, Artoria's expression was a mixture of helplessness and amusement.
Although it was a bit bizarre, the place was truly lively.
Umu, it's even more lively than a mental hospital!
[May 26 — you welcome a new seatmate: a young girl in the process of training Magecraft, whose thread of fate intertwines with you, Artoria Caster.]