Chapter 54: Shirt Play
[You've impressed me. You've improved very quickly.]
[Your natural talent is actually quite ordinary, but your effort and willpower have made up for that shortcoming. Umu, your performance deserves praise from me.]
[I can tell. You're fighting against your own regrets and genuinely trying to better yourself.]
[However… why do your eyes keep avoiding mine?]
[...Oh, I see. Well, you're a boy after all.]
[Don't mind it. Looking at me with the eyes of the opposite sex is normal. But don't get your hopes up — nothing will ever happen between us…]
[If you want to 'conquer' me, you're still ten thousand years too early!]
...
At this moment—
The two people, after getting drunk, were hugging the toilet, unable to endure it and vomiting violently.
"So, Mochizuki Eikou…"
Scathach's face looked somewhat pale from the hangover.
She had changed into a white sweater; although it looked loose and comfortable, it only further highlighted her hot and alluring figure. She sat down gently, and the hem of the sweater revealed her smooth, slender, snow-white bare legs.
"What exactly happened last night? Why were you sleeping in my room?" Scathach asked.
In Eikou's heart, he screamed: I also want to ask you that! I can't remember a damn thing that happened after that!
But there was no need to ask — it was already obvious. After drinking too much, the two of them had clearly gone too far, not returning to Chaldea's dormitory, but instead coming to Scathach's private residence to spend the night.
It's just that… as for what exactly they did after that, Eikou had no idea at all.
Although both were still in their underwear, no one could be sure they were still "pure" — or rather, at this point, the so-called "purity" didn't even have a place to cling to anymore!
"I see…"
Scathach's face flushed slightly as she nodded, her crimson eyes secretly glancing at him once before quickly looking away.
Why the hell is she blushing?! Why is she acting shy like some young girl in this situation?!
Eikou screamed inwardly.
This was way too bad — and it had to be Scathach of all people! How the hell was he supposed to face her in class after this?! Even if it were Murasaki Shikibu, it wouldn't be this embarrassing!
"If neither of us remembers anything…"
Scathach gently covered half of her beautiful face with one hand, whether out of embarrassment or just because the hangover made her want to throw up again,
"...then let's just pretend nothing happened, okay? We absolutely must never mention last night again, alright?"
She asked softly.
How the hell am I supposed to forget something like this?! This is clearly something involving both of our virginities! It's very serious, even if I really don't remember anything!
Come to think of it, what's with this atmosphere anyway — isn't this supposed to be a rom-com fanfic? Why the hell has it turned into a family drama aimed at aunties, tangled up with messy relationships like this?!
Mochizuki Eikou had no idea what to say anymore.
What exactly was the right thing to say to her in this situation? No matter how he thought about it, neither option felt right.
If he said something like "Are you kidding me? How can we just pretend nothing happened when it's something this serious," it would sound way too intense, like a clingy bratty guy making things worse than they already were.
But if he said "Alright, let's just pretend nothing happened," it would sound way too cold, like he was some kind of irresponsible guy.
There really was no good answer for this situation… Was there some kind of example line he could use? How did dependable adults usually deal with situations like this?
Ughh, the pressure's too much… the nausea is coming back.
[...]
[You and Scathach hug the toilet and vomit for a while, and finally your bodies feel a bit better.]
[Though you really want to just run away, the strange mood somehow makes you unable to abandon Scathach like this.]
[There's still a little time before the morning self-study period at Chaldea Academy, so you stay at Scathach's house for breakfast. She cooks only light and easy-to-digest dishes — perfect for people after a hangover.]
...
The warm aroma of porridge rose from the dining table in Scathach's house.
The two of them sat quietly across from each other, eating breakfast in silence — the awkward, hazy atmosphere refused to fade away, heavier than the steam rising from the porridge.
"How are you feeling?"
As Eikou carefully swallowed a spoonful of porridge, Scathach asked softly.
Although the taste was almost bland, perhaps due to her ascetic habits — just the faint fragrance alone was enough to show how serious and skilled her cooking was.
"Very… very delicious…"
Eikou replied softly.
"Is that so,"
Scathach gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with a soft, graceful movement,
"Although I didn't intend to flatter you, if you find it delicious, then that's good. I still remember a bit of my cooking skills. After drinking, eating something light is easier on the stomach. Does your stomach feel better?"
"Umu…"
Eikou lowered his head and took another spoonful of porridge.
Wait a second, what's with this "newlywed couple" atmosphere?! Why is there even a soft hair-tucking gesture like that?! If this were a last meal before my execution, I'd actually feel more at ease!
But whatever — just eat first!
Thanks to the warm porridge, the headache eased considerably, and Eikou's mind gradually cleared up.
If he couldn't remember what had happened, then he could just rely on his skill.
When you don't know what to do next — throwing an Instinct check is never wrong.
[You activate the skill "Instinct D" (rank reduced due to drunkenness).]
[You try to rely on your instinct to remember what happened last night.]
A die rolled.
[The result is EX, great failure.]
[You can't remember a single thing, the only remaining impression in your memory is — Scathach's body is really smooth and curvy.]
"Pffft—!"
Eikou almost choked to death on his porridge.
What kind of "instinct" is this?! Why is it giving me memories that didn't even exist in the first place?!
"Don't eat too fast, I cooked a lot."
Scathach, sitting across from him, gently reminded.
"Y-Yes…"
Eikou obediently nodded and kept his head down, continuing to eat.
Inside his head, gears were spinning at full speed.
The reason things ended up like this last night… was probably because his skill "Disaster With Women EX" had leveled up to "Disaster With Women (Married Woman) EX."
Even without active use, the passive effect made it easier for him to get entangled in ambiguous relationships with married women. After all, in Celtic mythology, Scathach had several daughters — she was clearly a full-fledged wife figure.
And considering he was drunk, maybe the skill was triggered unconsciously, leading to this mess.
In other words…
The situation between him and Scathach right now was extremely dangerous, wasn't it!?
As if to prove his suspicion right, at that exact moment, Scathach suddenly stood up, seemingly to get another bowl of porridge.
Maybe because of the hangover or because she was a bit out of it, she, who was usually so flawless, actually made a rare clumsy mistake — and accidentally knocked over the bowl next to her.
Bop!
The steaming hot porridge splashed right onto Eikou's shirt.
Scathach's eyes widened in shock, and she quickly asked, "Are you alright, Eikou? Are you burned?"
"Cough… it's alright…"
Eikou hurriedly grabbed some tissues to wipe his shirt. It was indeed hot, but what bothered him more was the huge soaked patch on his clothes.
"But it'll be fine after I wipe it."
"Idiot, how could wiping it be enough! Are you planning to go to school like that?"
Scathach instinctively switched to a scolding tone, then pointed toward her room:
"Hurry inside and change. There aren't any men's clothes in my closet, but there's a standard gym uniform set. Just wear it for now."
In Eikou's head, only one sentence echoed — She's going to make me wear her clothes!?
Isn't this basically the reverse of a shirt play scenario?!
Scathach, do you actually know exactly what kind of "couple play" this is, or are you seriously oblivious to it?!
"Uh uh..."
Come to think of it, why does this situation feel so familiar? It's the classic "A teenage boy visits the home of a seductive onee-san who lives alone, accidentally gets his clothes wet, is invited into her private room to change, and by the third minute the intimacy bar is maxed out and they're fuck together" plot.
This story just jumped in an instant from an 8 PM soap opera for housewives straight into an adult film that can't be aired. Please, for the love of Nasu, stop making me misunderstand any further!