####
Dinosia,
It was hard to reach Dinosia. But for Mobius, it was just a portal away. And it was rather easy for him to vanish amongst the people. He wore a period-appropriate suit and walked the fine streets of the largest city of Dinosia, the Firstland City.
Where the hell am I?
Yet, he found himself mostly amused when he walked into a rather interesting bar and restaurant. The entire establishment was luxurious, massive, and run by an all-angel staff. Those women, all tall and gorgeous, wore beautiful Victorian maid dresses, their beautiful wings visible behind. They served with a smile, sometimes flirting as they went about their work.
Mobius… felt aroused. He was still a man, after all. The TVA hadn't taken his balls.
"Oh my, you're rather handsome."
Yeah, Mobius loved that damn place. But he wasn't there to play around. After eating, he left the place and tried to find a way to meet the First Man organically, not like an invading terrorist breaking and entering.
He was there on a friendly mission. Well, it wasn't as if he could be violent anyway. The First Man couldn't be killed.
And that was when it happened. In that alley, clean yet dark, unused by the masses. He was just passing by when she appeared behind him.
"You're not Dinosian."
Mobius quickly raised his hands in surrender, turning around. "What gave it away?"
"Walking around like a tourist, gawking at the breasts of those Angels."
She sounded confident, powerful. And Mobius sighed when he realized who she was. Dressed in a fine suit, her human skin turned to blue, her eyes yellow. He'd read her file. Raven Darkholme, another being whose life story was altered by the First Man. Now she heads Dinosia's intelligence agency.
"First of all, I wasn't gawking. I was admiring."
"Sure." Raven folded her arms. "Who are you?"
"I'm Agent Mobius of the Time Variance Authority, TVA for short. An organization created by He Who Remains. It's located outside of time and space and serves as a temporal law enforcement agency, tasked with preserving the Sacred Timeline by preventing the creation of alternate timelines."
"So you're the time police?" Raven asked.
Mobius sighed, like he'd explained this a hundred times already. "Yeah, something like that. We've had eyes on the First Man since before humanity even showed up. He's an anomaly, plain and simple. Doesn't follow any of the Sacred Timeline's rules, but the system says everything's fine. That's what's got the higher-ups nervous—your First Man isn't just bending the timeline, he's rewriting it."
"And?"
"..."
Mobius scratched his head. Honestly, he didn't know what to even say. Since systems showed no error, why even bother?
"Well… we don't understand what's going on. I'm here to meet the First Man and ask him if he can enlighten me or something."
"You're here to interrogate the First Man?"
"What? Who the fuck can even do that? Man's insa—I mean, unpredictable," Mobius clarified. "Look, I'll go back as soon as I've got any clue. If you can help me speak with the First Man, I'd help a lot."
"What makes you think I can help you?"
"Come on, you're Raven Darkholme. You've got a thing for the First Man, and you've got access to the temple. That about covers it."
Yes, that got the woman to shut up. Her code name was Mystique, and only a select few knew her true name. Him knowing that meant he was either a spy or really a time policeman.
"Follow me."
####
Temple of the First Man,
"Hah! She's got my hair!" Marshall admired the little creature he had made with Hela. His daughter at last. A month old, tiny, cute, her blue eyes so curious. While she inherited Hela's beauty, she had his blue eyes and his blonde hair. He loved her so much that half the time he was in Dinosia, he held her in his arms.
Hela softly smiled, so faint that it was hard to notice. "Kael is… rather strong. She knocked out Logan yesterday."
"She did what?!" Marshall exclaimed with excitement. "That's my girl!"
After pecking the little baby's cheek a few times, he handed her back to Hela. Over those past few months, he had decided to settle on a rule.
"I'll try my best to keep my head under control around her. But it's hard to keep up," he said, longingly looking at his daughter. "Keep her clear of my mess. Don't let her turn out like this disaster of a man I am."
"Must you do this?"
"Come on, Hela. Think of Helvar and tell me you want our daughter to turn out like him."
Albeit with a frown, Hela ended up nodding. She loved her son dearly, but something had clearly gone wrong while raising him. He was careless and somewhat similar to Marshall, despite not having any mental degradation. Helvar had an Asgardian body, even better, actually. Still, Helvar's personality mirrored Marshall's.
"Marshall, once Kael is older, let us go out there and see if we can find you some help," Hela suggested. She, for one, knew that Marshall was trying hard to be better. He wanted to be a loving father. A responsible man. But he was a hostage of his own mind and biology. His life wasn't dictated by his wants and needs but by the randomness of the voices in his mind. That sort of life… she hoped to change for him.
"Oh, you mean some slick freak who can gut me, patch my sorry ass shit brain pudding, and keep whistlin'? Fine by me. Maybe Marty can snag himself a damn lizard lady while we're at it."
Hela sighed and just nodded. Too used to that way of speech, constantly shifting topic and focus.
"We can do that for Marty. Now, I see you have guests. I shall take Kael to rest."
"Guests?" Marshall turned around and saw the stunning, blue-skinned woman. She was dressed in an absolute stunner of a gentleman's suit but fitted for a woman, thick around the thighs, showcasing she was a fine, fine woman.
Then there was the old-looking man beside Raven.
"Who's that, Raven? Your date?"
"What? No way! I wouldn't go for anyone else but… He's an intruder," Raven blurted. "Found him sneaking into Dinosia. He says he's a time policeman or something. Looking for you. Wants to ask a few things."
Marshall hummed, sniffed strongly, and then frowned. "I can smell it. You ain't from around these parts. So, you wanna arrest me or something?"
"Arrest you? Would've done that if we could, Sir. Respectfully, you're a bit too powerful."
"Great at eating ass, ain't you, or was it licking ass? Must do that a lot at your time police station."
"..."
"Sir, it's the Time Variance Authority, and I was just saying the truth. We don't have the ability to hold you. Or to keep you confined even if we somehow captured you," Mobius explained. "Before I start asking questions, maybe I should explain what I do, what the TVA does, and what the Sacred Timeline actually is."
"Hmm…" Marshall rubbed his beard. "I'm craving lemonade. You want lemonade?"
"Yes!" Raven chirped.
"I wouldn't say no, Sir."
"Alright, follow me to the bar." Marshall turned around and walked deeper into the temple, and arrived at the large lounge with an equally sizable, luxurious bar. Logan was there, cleaning a glass, a few Angels annoying him while they were drinking.
Marshall just strolled in there, letting Raven and Mobius sit on one of the high stools at the counter. He personally walked behind the counter, beside Logan.
"Heard you got ass kicked by my girl?"
Logan grunted like a wild beast. "She packs a punch."
"She sure does." Marshall grinned like the proud father he was. Logan was among the few allowed to be near his children. He was, in a way, a trusted member of the temple. The man had even volunteered to help Marshall by killing him. But his bone claws couldn't pierce Marshall's skin.
In any case, Marshall moved to make lemonade. He prepared three glasses, garnished their mouths with some nice salt and spices. After that, he made lemonade in a jar. With just his hands, he squeezed the fuck out of lemons until they were barely recognizable pulp. After that, he added some salt, some sugar, and then shook the life out of it.
Finally, he poured out three glasses and also garnished them with slices of lemon, and then added straws.
"There you go." He pushed the glasses to his guests. "One for the time popo, and one for the fine lady."
At last, Marshall settled down on a seat as well, sipping small sips of lemonade.
"So, first, the Sacred Timeline is a collection of realities that must happen for this reality to exist. Think of it like this: if you never existed, how different would things be for Hela, for Logan, for Raven? Pretty different, right? Your existence ties all this together. Without you, things start to fall apart.
"The same goes for the Sacred Timeline. Any disruption, any change, and everything starts breaking down. Whole realities, infinite lives, gone. That's where we come in at the TVA. We keep the flow steady. If something veers off course, we find it, we prune it. Sometimes, that means removing entire branches if they can't be fixed. That's where you come in. A long, long time ago, I mean, a few million years ago, we first noticed you.
"At that time, your existence was causing an insane amount of deviation in the Sacred Timeline. But then it all vanished. Timeline accepted you. The thing is, our records still say you shouldn't be here. None of this should be. But the Sacred Timeline's calm as ever, and that's got my boss nervous. So, tell me, any idea what we're missing?
"Hmm…" Marshall hummed for a very, very long time. Nodding, rubbing his beard. "So lemme get this straight. Your entire damn job is to make sure Bob out there lets one rip, or the universe implodes from a missing fart? Or maybe you're here to keep him from farting because destiny hates the sound? Or what, you kill Bob for farting? Is that it? Cosmic flatulence control?"
"..."
"I… I suppose."
"How the hell am I supposed to know that? I don't got some goddamn eye-beam of truth like Hela's pops. I live in the moment. Don't they say, live life kink-sized… wait, was it kink?"
"King." Raven helped.
___________________
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