####
This is absurd.
Black Bolt waited for the First Man to arrive. During that wait, he looked around at the massive terrace of the so-called temple of the First Man. It looked less like a temple and more like a noble's retreat. That massive pool, women in small clothes, playing in the water. These women had wings, each a beauty.
"Sup, laddie."
And then there was this boy, tall, who just walked past him with a nod of his head, naked mostly, and jumped into the pool. The women cheered at that for some reason. Next thing, the boy was jumping in the water like a dolphin.
And then came the large dinosaur. Surprisingly, there was an actual giant beach chair for the large creature to sit on. Then a dozen or so Angels flew over and started painting the dinosaur in some sort of ointment.
"..."
Soon enough, a weird seven-foot-tall humanoid appeared with grey skin. He didn't look human. Wearing just shorts, he was muscular like a warrior but moved like a saint. He just sat down in the water. Some Angels tried to flirt with him, but he didn't move an inch. It was Apocalypse if he remembered correctly.
Finally, there was Hela, the Goddess of Death, and a red-haired woman who seemed to be an Asgardian. He noticed their judging gaze but ignored them. He wasn't there to meet the Asgardians.
That must be him.
At last, he saw a tall blonde man walk towards him. For some reason, the First Man was dressed in a single towel wrapped around his waist. His expressions seemed annoyed.
"What'd you want?"
Unable to speak physically, Black Bolt used telepathy.
"Greetings, First Man of Dinosia. I am Blackagar Boltagon, king of Inhumans."
"Tsk, shut it, Batman. Your first name's a fucking spelling hazard, a few wrong letters, and I'd be canceled on Twitter by blue-haired—Ah, shit, that doesn't exist yet. Anyway, what'd ya want? I was balls deep in the primest pussy and face deep in the softest tits the world has to offer. You'd better have a good reason for coming here."
"..."
Black Bolt frowned, taken aback by the reaction."I came seeking shelter for my people. The world moves forward faster each day. Sooner or later, humanity will uncover Attilan. I want to bring my people here, to Dinosia, where we can live without hiding."
"Right, so that's got your tits in a twist. Fine, screw it, bring your people. They best obey the laws and behave. Mess around, and I'm how you'll find out. We square? Now piss off, I'm diving back into a velvety soft pussy."
"That is not all, First Man. You see, I'm the king of Inhumans. I am of the House of Agon, and they will wish to remain—"
"Pause right there, bat-boy. I ain't got patience for your shiny-crown roleplay. You pitch a tent in my Dinosia, you bleed and sweat like the rest of the circus. Mutants, Angels, humans, all slop in the same soup. They wed, rut, spawn, and dance their happy little life. Ain't no thrones here. Hela's sorta queen, sure, but she's the Death Lady, and that's paperwork more than royalty. Helvar's the prin—ah, hell with it, no damn crown garbage, we good?"
Black Bolt halted for a moment, half his face hidden by his mask. "Then… I fear my people cannot settle here. I shall seek another place. It was good meeting you, First M—"
"Where'd you think you're going?"
Right as Black Bolt tried to fly away, he felt a tight grip on his ankles, keeping him from leaving. Looking down, he noticed two tentacles coming out of First Man's back and keeping him there.
"You barge in, cock-block my peace, and think a cute little 'Ah, my bad' fixes it? Blow me sideways! You're not going anywhere, batshit. You think you can just move? Bitch, I own the crust under your feet. You breathe 'cause I allow it. And guess what? You've been squatting on my dirt rent-free, and that's a lot of back taxes."
Black Bolt frowned, never losing his regal demeanor. "You are making a mistake, First Man. I am not your enemy."
"Damn right, you're a squatter! A fucking freeloader! A little bat that's sitting around to spread that coronavirus! I know it came outta your ass now."
Black Bolt had no idea what this man was rambling about. What virus? What bat?
"First Man, let me go. My voice is not a threat you can bear. Protect your own and obey."
"Oooooo! Look, I'm so scared, oh, I'mma shit my ass and wet my towel! Look, I'm shivering. Someone save me, oh no~! Yeah, don't work on me. You touch a single speck of hair of my people, I'll butcher you inhuman whatever thing, each one, I'll drag them on a human-sized cheese grater and kill slowly."
"..."
"What do you want, First Man?"
"I don't take no. And once I say something, there ain't no going back. Your lot's packing up and moving in with the Dinosians. You don't get a damn vote. You bend, or I break you. Old tricks still work fine for toppling kings. The French had a real talent for it—messy, but charming."
Black Bolt took a fighting stance. "You will fight me to enslave my people?"
"Nah, I'll gut you to free them from your royal ass and then resettle them here. Noble deed, I know."
"It won't happen without a fight." Black Bolt warned.
"Hah! Bring. It. On!"
Boom!
####
Marshall didn't take chances. He flew as fast as he could, using all his abilities, Zeus, Odin, Firehair, and his own telekinesis combined. He flew so fast that a deafening sonic boom blew across Dinosia. Within a second, he was far high, a gigantic hole in the clouds visible. By the next second, he was in space.
At that point, he had the batman in a chokehold, face-to-face. Since it was space, Marshall spoke telepathically as well.
"Got any tricks?"
Hah! Fucker's smirking.
Marshall hoped for something amazing. Something worthy of killing him. It had been so long since he last died. He wanted something new now, something greater. Tentacles had gotten old, and Zeus' thunderbolt was trash.
Finally, the creature Marshall decided to call batman opened his mouth and…
The fuck?
Marshall sensed an extremely violent sonic wave. Sure, it got annoying, but he just used his insane telekinesis powers given by the love of his eternal life, Firehair. He covered his ears, and that was it. No more annoying screams.
Boom!
Then Marshall felt an invisible force on his body. It tried to shred him to pieces, but it couldn't. Though, it did shred that towel covering him. That energy also created strange vibrations that made Marshall go hard again, although he didn't want to.
"..."
"That's it? Your special power is hollering loudly, and it makes men go hard? Bitch I've heard louder moans when I'm diving in pussies!"
Batman frowned and roared once again.
Ah, it's tingling.
Marshall felt the energy radiating from the bastard's mouth. Though all it took was some extra use of telekinesis to cover himself in a psionic shield.
"Christ alive, your breath stinks! The hell did you eat? Garlic-flavored donkey's ass?"
And then the Batman screamed louder.
Oh!
Finally, Marshall felt something. Blood started oozing from every hole in his body. Tiny ripples of cuts appeared all over his nude skin. And it only made Marshall excited. Dying sucked. But growth was needed.
"Fuck yeah! Louder, boy! Scream louder! You can do this!"
Then Marshall felt a tingle in his heart, and he knew it was coming. Finally, death once again. So, he decided to just fuck it and removed all the shields he had created. He was surprised by how strong the bat's scream was. It affected the physical body of Odin. But again, he didn't have Odinforce, so the real Odin wouldn't be affected.
He wasn't complaining. Dying wasn't amazing. He hated it. But he had to in case there was a slim chance it might better his chaos addict brain.
"Yes! Yes, louder, boy! Kill me! Do it right now!"
Finally, he could feel it. That oscillating energy ripped through his body and turned his organs into bloody paste. His brain turned into goo. His lungs into ruptured balloons. His kidneys into useless beans. His balls into… Well, they were just balls.
But he had done it.
Once again, willingly, or rather with desire, he had gotten himself killed by a fucker who just screamed very loudly. It was a hell of a thing to die with. He reckoned he could have saved himself if he had tried enough.
But who wanted that?
Pop!
Just as he died, he was revived. Marshall found himself standing in the same spot, in the same position, his gripping hand clenching the bat's throat.
"Hah! That was one weird death." Marshall tried to speak with his mouth and…
Poof!
"..."
Bat's head splattered like a water balloon. Blood, brain matter, and skull pieces floated in space.
"Ugh…" Marshall just stared at the missing head dumbly. "Fucker died by his own powers? Ain't you supposed to be immune to that?"
Marshall really had no intention of killing him. Just beating him was enough. Maybe cripple him so he can't be the King anymore. But killing him was counterintuitive to bringing Inhumans to Dinosia. Why would they now follow a man who killed their King?
"Hmmm… Gotta hide the evidence."
He released the headless body and engulfed it in cosmic flames, burning it to ash and then nothing.
"I didn't ask him where his folks live!"
Quickly, he dove back down to Earth. On the way, he practiced his new ability and made sure to suppress it so he wouldn't mistakenly blow up a city with his voice. When he landed on the temple, he walked over to the pool filled with winged Angels and, using his mind powers, floated Helvar out of the water.
Helvar thought he was being smart. But Marshall knew what kind of man his son was. The little fucker was acting like a dolphin just to gaze at the fine asses that the Angels presented underwater.
"Boy! I got a job for you." He landed Helvar in front of himself.
Helvar became excited. "Finally! Just say it, Daddy!"
"..."
"Never use that word with me. Second, grow a fucking spine. Stare at those asses without hiding, stop diving into water. I raised no shy sissy," Marshall scolded, a lesson most men wouldn't teach their sons. "Anyway, I need you to go out and fly around the world. There's a secret community of superpowered people living somewhere, called Inhumans. You find them and report back to me. Remember, report to me, because you'll get your ass whooped, and then I'll have to massacre them all, or Hela might do it first."
Thump!
Helvar saluted and kicked his foot like a good soldier. "Aye, aye, Daddy! Looking at asses straight! Finding secret people! Understood!"
"..."
"Alright, shoo, piss off." Marshall spun around and stomped back into the temple, heading right back to the bedroom where he had left Ajak.
___________________
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