The laughter eventually subsided, leaving Nurse Nanny wiping her eyes and Arthur feeling a strange mix of accomplishment and profound self-loathing. He had, officially, become a rubber chicken assailant. His former life, filled with digital dragons and virtual glory, seemed a distant, dignified dream. Now, his greatest triumph involved a squeaky fowl and a bewildered caregiver.
"There, there, little master," Nurse Nanny finally managed, her voice still a little shaky from mirth. She gently took the rubber chicken from his grip, placing it on the bedside table next to the untouched gruel. "Perhaps we should keep this… toy… for playtime later, hmm?"
Arthur just nodded, too mentally exhausted to argue. Toy. Right. A weapon of mass distraction. Or mild forehead trauma.
The rest of the morning was a blur of indignities. Nurse Nanny insisted on changing his clothes, which involved a surprisingly intricate series of laces and buttons that made him feel like a human origami project. Then came the dreaded 'potty training' attempt, which Arthur, a grown man who once navigated complex raid mechanics, found utterly humiliating. He just sat there, bewildered, while Nurse Nanny cooed encouragingly.
[SOUL UNIT, YOUR LACK OF PROGRESS IN 'POTTY PROTOCOL' IS… CONCERNING. 🚽 THIS IS NOT A HUMOR QUEST, BUT YOUR EXPRESSION OF DISCOMFORT IS ALMOST COMEDIC IN ITSELF! ALMOST. 😐]
Don't you dare, CVI, Arthur thought, gritting his teeth. Don't you dare make me pee myself for Giggle Points. There are lines, even for a comedic genius like me.
Thankfully, the 'potty protocol' was eventually abandoned for the morning, much to Arthur's relief. He was then bundled into a small, wheeled contraption that Nurse Nanny called a "pram," but Arthur recognized as a glorified baby carriage. He felt like a miniature, grumpy king being paraded through his tiny kingdom.
"We'll go for a little stroll in the gardens, little master," Nurse Nanny announced cheerfully, pushing the pram towards a large, ornate wooden door. "The fresh air will do you good!"
Fresh air? I'm pretty sure my previous apartment had more fresh air, and it was mostly recycled pizza fumes, Arthur thought, bracing himself for the outdoors.
The door opened, revealing a surprisingly lush garden. Vibrant flowers bloomed in chaotic bursts of color, and tall, ancient-looking trees cast dappled shadows on a winding gravel path. It was actually quite nice. Too nice, perhaps. This world was clearly lulling him into a false sense of security.
As Nurse Nanny pushed the pram along the path, Arthur watched the world go by. Servants bustled about, tending to flowerbeds or sweeping paths. A few of them glanced at him, offering polite nods to Nurse Nanny and small, curious smiles at him. He tried to look dignified, which was hard when you were strapped into a baby carriage.
[NEW HUMOR QUEST INITIATED! 🚨][HUMOR QUEST: THE GREAT GARDEN GIGGLE! 🌳😂][Objective: Cause at least three distinct individuals in the garden to laugh within the next 15 minutes. Bonus points for making a servant drop something! 🧺💥][Reward: 75 Giggle Points (GP) + Medium Agility Skill: 'The Banana Peel Ballet' 🍌🩰 (Passive: Increases chance of causing others to slip, and grants graceful recovery from your own falls)][Failure Penalty: -30 GP + Temporary Debuff: 'Uncontrollable Hiccups' (Duration: 30 minutes) 🗣️💨]
Arthur's eyes widened. Three people? And make someone drop something? CVI, you're a sadist! I just got here! I can barely coordinate my limbs, let alone orchestrate a comedic masterpiece in a public garden!
[OH, BUT YOU CAN, SOUL UNIT! YOU HAVE 'THE TRIPPING HAZARD' NOW! 🤸♂️ IT'S ALL ABOUT OPPORTUNITY! AND REMEMBER, HILARITY LOVES COMPANY! AND GRAVITY! 😉]
Gravity? Oh no. Arthur felt a cold dread creep up his tiny spine. He remembered the skill description: "Grants a 15% chance to trip over flat surfaces, leading to comedic falls." He was in a garden. With gravel paths. And his new body was still getting used to… existing.
Just then, Nurse Nanny rounded a particularly sharp bend in the path. A young gardener, carrying a large, overflowing basket of freshly picked vegetables, was walking towards them, his head down, humming.
This is it, Arthur thought. This is my chance. Or my doom.
He focused. He really, really focused. He thought about the 'Tripping Hazard' skill. He pictured himself falling. Gracefully, comically. Maybe even too gracefully.
As the pram drew level with the gardener, Arthur, with a sudden, inexplicable jerk, managed to kick his tiny leg out of the blanket. It wasn't a powerful kick, more like a flailing noodle. But it was enough.
His foot, almost as if guided by an unseen comedic force, snagged on the edge of the pram's wheel.
[TRIPPING HAZARD ACTIVATED! 🤸♂️✨]
Arthur's body lurched. The pram wobbled violently. Nurse Nanny let out a startled gasp. And Arthur, with the grace of a collapsing house of cards, tumbled sideways out of the pram.
He didn't hit the ground hard. Instead, he landed with a soft thump directly onto the gardener's foot.
The gardener, startled, let out a yelp. His eyes went wide. The basket of vegetables, caught off guard by the sudden impact, flew into the air. Carrots, cabbages, and a particularly plump pumpkin scattered across the gravel path in a vibrant, chaotic explosion.
The gardener stared at the tiny, bewildered child now sitting on his foot, surrounded by a vegetable apocalypse. His jaw dropped. Then, a snort. Then, a booming laugh that echoed through the garden.
"Oh, by the gods!" the gardener roared, clutching his stomach. "Little master Elian! You… you fell right onto my foot! And the vegetables! Oh, my apologies, Nurse Nanny, but that was quite a sight!"
Nurse Nanny, initially shocked, saw the absurdity of the situation. Her hand flew to her mouth, and she began to giggle, a soft, warm sound that quickly escalated into hearty laughter.
A few other servants nearby, attracted by the commotion and the gardener's booming laughter, turned to look. They saw the tiny child sitting amidst the scattered vegetables, the flustered gardener, and the giggling Nurse Nanny. One by one, they started chuckling. Then outright laughing.
[LAUGHTER DETECTED! 😂 THREE DISTINCT INDIVIDUALS! ✅ VEGETABLE DROP CONFIRMED! 🧺💥 GP GAINED: 75! 💰][CURRENT GP: 110! OUTSTANDING WORK, SOUL UNIT! YOUR FALLING TECHNIQUE IS TRULY EVOLVING! 📈]
Arthur, still sitting on the gardener's foot, looked at the scattered vegetables, then at the laughing faces around him. He had just caused a minor agricultural disaster and gained points for it. He was a menace. A tiny, adorable menace.
I just fell out of a baby carriage and caused a vegetable explosion, he thought, a faint, almost proud smirk forming on his lips. And I got a skill called 'Banana Peel Ballet.' This is my life now. And honestly? It's kind of growing on me. In a terrifying, humiliating, yet undeniably hilarious way. 🤦♂️😂🍌