I Woke Up with a Gorilla Face - Ensign Don Krieg... Sir? - Hameln
Apparently some young pirate just joined the Seven Warlords—a Logia user who controls sand... Wait, isn't that Crocodile?
I can totally picture him sitting in some fancy chair with a huge cat on his lap, sipping wine (yeah, I'm judging).
That guy's definitely strong. Sure, Luffy beat him in the original story, but without all that arrogance and carelessness, he would've been unstoppable.
Anyway, moving on.
I, Krieg, have been recognized by old man Zephyr and officially promoted to the officer ranks—Ensign Krieg, at your service. And I've come up with a certain plan. I thought about bringing it to old man Zephyr... but he'd probably shut it down, so I'll try Vice Admiral Garp instead. He seems more reasonable.
A Certain Marine Vice Admiral's Perspective
"You want armor and weapons, you say?"
I was suddenly called out. When I turned around, there stood Ensign Krieg—the same young man who'd just completed my colleague Zephyr's training program and been promoted to ensign.
I'd thought he relied on training his body and using that as his foundation in combat... though I suppose I did acknowledge that carrying multiple weapons had its uses. After all, he does wield that iron staff as a weapon.
When I asked him what this was about, he explained that his current iron staff had been through hell—riddled with beam holes, melted by magma, pummeled by ice, beaten by the Black Arm, and nearly crushed by its own wielder—and was now in terrible shape. He wanted something thinner but much heavier. As for armor, he wanted something reasonably sturdy and heavy to use as training weights.
"Hmm, then I'll write you a note for the Science Division."
I pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote:
"Make Krieg a weapon and armor."
I signed my name and, for good measure, added Sengoku's as well.
"Take this to the Science Division and have them make whatever weapon you like. I'm sure they'll create something satisfactory."
"Yes sir! Thank you very much! And, uh, Vice Admiral Garp, sir—do you have any plans to visit the East Blue?"
He asked in stilted, unfamiliar formal speech.
"I do have an inspection tour (vacation) planned there in two months. Why do you ask?"
"Well, sir, I came here from the East Blue, and I've only ever known this place. I wanted to see the outside seas. I heard you often inspect the East Blue, so I was hoping I could accompany you..."
"Understood. I can make that decision on my own authority. I'll send you the details in writing, so wait for that."
"Yes sir! Thank you! Then I'll head to the Science Division now."
He shuffled off with my note in hand, and watching his huge frame lumber away, I couldn't help but remark:
"He's like a bear, that one."
Indeed, his massive body lumbering along really did resemble a bear—though Krieg himself had no idea this was whispered about him everywhere.
But that aside, having completed Zephyr's training and possessing strength equal to or greater than field-grade officers, at only sixteen years old, Krieg had become a rising star—and various divisions were fighting over him.
Zephyr wanted him as his adjutant. Borsalino and Sakazuki, who'd joined the Marines around the same time as Krieg, kept pushing to let him earn merit and get promoted quickly. Sengoku argued that such a talented youth should be sent to understaffed branch offices to gain experience. Fleet Admiral Kong suggested giving him his own ship for independent operations. Nobody could agree on anything.
I thought it best to just let the boy decide for himself, but knowing I'd get an earful for saying something unnecessary, I kept quiet and watched. Then, like a moth to flame, the man himself came flying in.
Well then, I suppose I'll drag him around to various places for a while and let him gain some experience.
And so, delighted with the favor he'd received, Krieg immediately visited the Engineering Division.
Shortly thereafter, at the reception desk:
"First, I want a staff. Thick enough to grip with one hand, about as tall as I am, and I want it to explode when I slam it down.
"Also, put sea-prism stone or something in the tip.
"Oh, and weight is important. See, lately my current iron staff doesn't feel that heavy anymore, and it's almost a ton, you know?
"So make it way heavier.
"Also, make it super durable. Lately I've been leaving grip marks on the handle. Come up with some way to fix that.
"And I want portability too—like, make it combine with part of the armor, like shoulder guards, to form a staff... or would that be a spear?
"For the armor, just make it super sturdy and heavy. Just the upper body is fine. There's this wootz steel stuff, right? That's supposed to be hard?
"Don't need a helmet or waist armor, okay? Oh, but I do want gauntlets—the kind with diamonds or something hard on the knuckles.
"Oh, and put flamethrowers and needle guns in the shoulder guards... Then put iron nets or something in the gauntlets too. Can't you hide guns under the armor? The rapid-fire kind.
"Oh, you can take your time if you need to, but I have a mission in two months, so can you fix this iron staff by then? And the armor too—just the torso is fine."
He placed his ridiculously large, battered iron staff on a work desk and rattled off his absurd demands while holding that ridiculous note—
"WRITE IT DOWN FIRST!!"
The receptionist slammed a pen and paper into Krieg's face.
I Politely Explained My Needs to the Science Division and Got Yelled At
The trip to the East Blue was meant to scout for talent like Gin and Pearl, but since Garp gave me such a great excuse with the weapon-making thing, I figured I'd take advantage and explain my weapon concepts. Then they told me to write it down first, so I picked up a pen and painstakingly scribbled away.
Well, this is Marine Headquarters. They should be able to make something on the level of original Krieg's arsenal, right?
A Certain Engineering Officer's Perspective
In a certain conference room, several people held their heads in their hands over a case that had been brought to them.
"Right, thanks everyone for gathering. Today I want to hear your thoughts on this idiotic set of weaponry."
The apparent leader spoke up.
"Do we actually need to make this?" someone asked.
"Unfortunately, this bastard brought a permit signed by Vice Admiral Garp and Admiral Sengoku. And the one who came up with it is that rising star—Bear."
He recalled the sight of that huge frame hunched over, painstakingly filling out paperwork, and laid out the plan.
"Ah, you mean Ensign Krieg with the scary face..."
"For now, shouldn't we figure out the staff and armor he needs by two months from now?"
Another worker suggested.
"Right. He said repairs, but with this much damage, building from scratch would be faster."
They looked down at the iron staff that had been hauled in with a forklift.
"Since he'll want something close to his actual weapon, let's make it thinner than the current one—something he can grip with one hand... Get me Ensign Krieg's physical examination results later. I need his measurements."
"He wants it super durable, but if regular iron ended up like this, maybe alloy or steel?"
"He also wants it heavy, so since this is just a stopgap until the real weapon is finished, why not just make it from hyper-compressed iron? If it's around two tons, he should be satisfied... right?"
"He's swinging around this thing that weighs almost a ton, you know? It might be a bit heavy, but let's load it up to five tons."
"Same approach for the armor? It says it's a temporary solution, so we don't need to install weapons—just a simple breastplate should work."
"All right, that's the plan for what he needs urgently. Now, about the actual weapon..."
And so, after visiting the Science Division to arrange for his weapons, Krieg returned to his dormitory—only to find an official order waiting for him.
An assignment as assistant to Vice Admiral Garp's adjutant, Bogard.
It was supposed to be just one trip to the East Blue... Now I'm the assistant to Vice Admiral Garp's adjutant...? I was just using the weapon-making as an excuse to scout the East Blue for future comrades... How did it turn into this?