He immediately recognized the woman he was looking for.
In the early afternoon of the holidays, children could be seen playing on the grass, bathed in the calm autumn sun, with their parents watching them, smiling. The square around the park's fountain was overcrowded with city residents who had brought their families to relax.
Even amidst such a crowd, he didn't lose his way.
No matter how crowded, no matter how far, he was certain he could find her effortlessly.
Even if he didn't know if he could see her once a month, even if she already had a partner.
Only when he approached her did the woman in the shade of the trees notice his arrival.
"… Hey, long time no see."
"Oh… Kariya-kun."
Showing a modest and polite smile, she looked up from the book she was reading.
Worn out… Seeing her like this, Kariya felt overwhelmed by a helpless anxiety. Something seemed to be troubling her.
He immediately wanted to ask about the cause of that problem, to strive to find a solution for that something, but Kariya couldn't bring himself to mention it. Even driven by this impulse, he wasn't close enough to offer such unrestrained kindness. That wasn't his place.
"It's been three months. This trip was quite long this time."
"Oh… oh, yes."
In his sweet dreams, her smile surely appeared. But he didn't have the courage to face her when she was actually in front of him. It had been like this for the past eight years.
Kariya would probably never be able to face that smile forever.
As she made him so nervous, he never knew what to say after greeting her, and a subtle silence fell.
That happened every time too.
To break the awkward silence, Kariya looked for the one he could talk to easily.
There. Playing among the other children on the grass, twin ponytails dancing cheerfully. Though very young, the girl already showed signs of a beautiful face, inherited from her mother.
"Rin-chan."
Kariya called her, waving his hand. As soon as she noticed, the girl he called Rin ran toward him with a bright smile.
"Welcome back, Uncle Kariya! Did you bring me another gift?"
"Now, Rin, mind your manners…"
The young girl seemed oblivious to her mother's embarrassed voice. Rin's eyes sparkled with anticipation, and Kariya, responding with the same smile, held out one of the two gifts he was carrying on his back…
"Oh, how beautiful…"
An elaborate brooch made of variously sized glass beads captured the girl's heart at first sight.
Though it might seem a bit much for a girl her age, Kariya was well aware that Rin had very precocious tastes.
"Uncle, thank you as always. I'll take good care of it."
"Haha, if you like it, Uncle is happy too."
Gently patting Rin's head, Kariya looked for the intended recipient of the other gift he had brought.
For some reason, she wasn't anywhere in the park.
"Say, where's Sakura-chan?"
Upon hearing Kariya's question, Rin's smile immediately vanished.
Her face looked as if she had stopped thinking, the face of a resigned child forced to accept reality without thinking.
"Sakura, she… she's gone."
With a blank stare, Rin had given a monotonous response. Then, as if avoiding Kariya's question, she ran back to the children she had been playing with earlier.
"…"
Perplexed by Rin's incomprehensible words, Kariya looked at Rin's mother questioningly with sudden realization. She averted her eyes to an empty space with a somber look.
"What does that mean…?"
"Sakura is no longer my daughter, nor Rin's sister."
Her tone was dry but braver than her daughter Rin's.
"That child went to the Matou family."
The name, sounding deeply familiar yet abominable, violently tore at Kariya's heart.
"That can't… What the hell does that mean, Aoi-san!?"
"You shouldn't even need to ask, right? Especially you, Kariya-kun."
Crushing Kariya's heart, Rin's mother, Tohsaka Aoi, gave a harsh and cold response, never looking at him, as if indifferent.
"Of course, you should know why the Matou needed a child with magical ancestry to succeed them, don't you?"
"How… can you… accept that?"
"That's what he decided. This is the decision of the head of the Tohsaka family, fulfilling a request from old sworn friends, the Matou… My opinion doesn't matter."
For that reason, mother and daughter, elder sister and younger sister, were separated.
Of course, she wouldn't agree. But both Aoi and young Rin knew very well why they couldn't help but accept it. Because that's what it meant to live as a mage.
Kariya knew that cruel fate all too well.
"… Are you okay with that?"
Aoi responded with a faint, bitter smile to Kariya's stone-cold voice.
"I was prepared for something like this when I decided to marry someone from the Tohsaka family, when I decided to become the wife of a mage. When you enter the lineage of a mage, it's a mistake to seek the normal happiness of a family…"
And, facing Kariya who tried to speak again, the mage's wife gently but clearly stopped him…
"… This is a matter between the Tohsakas and the Matou. It's none of your business, you who turned your back on the world of mages."
She finished with a slight nod.
With that, Kariya could no longer move. As if he had turned into one of the park's trees, his chest was tight with weakness and helplessness.
Since long ago, when she was a girl, then when she became a wife, and even after she had two children, Aoi's attitude toward Kariya had never changed. Three years older than him, friends since childhood, she always treated Kariya kindly and without restraint, like a true sister to a brother.
This was the first time she had so clearly pointed out their respective positions.
"If you get to see Sakura, please treat her kindly. She always liked you, Kariya-kun."
With Aoi watching over her, Rin was playing cheerfully, full of energy, as if to drive away her pain.
As if Rin's behavior itself was the response that pushed back the silent Kariya beside her, Tohsaka Aoi showed him only the profile of a peaceful mother on holiday.
But Kariya still hadn't given up. There was no way he could give up on this.
The resolute and serene Tohsaka Aoi who accepted her fate. She couldn't even completely hide the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
×××××
Kariya hurried through the scenery of the hometown he thought he'd never see again.
Every time he returned to Fuyuki City, he never crossed the bridge to Miyama.
It must have been ten years. Unlike the Shinto area, where business thrived every day, nothing had changed in this neighborhood where time seemed to have stopped.
Quiet streets filled with memories, but none pleasant would return if he stopped to take a look.
Ignoring such useless nostalgia, Kariya thought about his conversation with Aoi an hour earlier.
"… Are you okay with that?"
The thoughtless plea Aoi threw at him while averting her eyes. He hadn't used such a sharp tone in years.
Don't raise your eyes, don't cause trouble… That's how he lived. Anger, hatred, Kariya had left it all in the desolate streets of Miyama. After abandoning his hometown, Kariya never made a fuss about anything. Even the dirtiest and ugliest matters were nothing compared to what he hated in this land.
That's why, yes. It must have been eight years since the last time his voice carried such feelings.
This time, it wasn't with the same woman that Kariya used the same tone, the same words?
"Are you okay with that?"
He had asked the same question back then.
Turning to his senior childhood friend the night before, she had taken the Tohsaka name.
He never forgot. The expression she had at that moment.
She gave a small nod, as if regretful, as if apologizing, but still blushing with shyness. Kariya was defeated by that serene smile.
"… I was prepared… It's a mistake to seek the normal happiness of a family…"
Such words were just a lie.
On that day, eight years ago, when she was proposed to by the young mage, her smile definitely showed her faith in happiness.
And so, Kariya fully accepted his defeat because he trusted that smile.
Perhaps, the man who was marrying Aoi, that man was the only one who could make her happy.
But that was a mistake.
More than anyone else, Kariya should have realized it was a fatal mistake.
By fully realizing how despicable magecraft was, hadn't Kariya rejected his fate and left his family?
Yet, he could forgive that.
Even he, who had turned his back in fear, fully aware of how abominable magecraft was… His most important woman had surrendered, of all people, to the man who most resembled a mage.
What now burned in Kariya's chest was regret.
Not once, but twice, he chose the wrong words.
He shouldn't have asked, "Are you okay with that?" but should have concluded, "You must not do this."
And eight years ago, if he had held Aoi back… perhaps there could have been a different future from today. If she hadn't bound herself to Tohsaka that day, she would have been free from the cursed fate of a mage and could have lived a happy, normal life.
And today, in the early afternoon in the park, if he had reacted differently to the decision between the Tohsakas and the Matou, perhaps it would have shocked her. She might have rejected the absurdity of a stranger.
But even so, she couldn't just blame herself like that. She didn't have to completely suppress the tears.
Kariya absolutely could not forgive that. The one who repeated the mistake twice. For his punishment, he returned to the place of the days he had left behind.
Surely, there was a way to atone. The world he had once turned his back on. The fate he had barely escaped.
But now, he could face it.
If he thought of the one woman in the world he didn't want to see suffer…
Under the sky where dusk was approaching, he stopped in front of an imposing and lush Western-style house.
Matou Kariya stood before the gate of his home again after a decade.
×××××
Starting right at the front door, the small but risky dispute soon unfolded inside the Matou residence, where Kariya settled on a living room sofa.
"I thought I told you never to show your face in front of me again."
Sitting across from Kariya, the small, old man who spat the detestable words was Matou Zouken, head of the family. Zouken was so withered that his bald head and limbs seemed mummified, but the deep light in his eyes filled his spirit. Both his appearance and personality made him an unusual and mysterious person.
To tell the truth, not even Kariya could determine the old man's exact age. The aberrant entry in the family registry stated he was the father of Kariya and his brother.
But even in his great-grandfather, his ancestor in the third generation, there were records of the old man called Zouken in the family tree. There was no way to find out how many generations this man had come to reign over the Matou family.
Speaking of repulsive actions, he was a mage who could be called immortal, extending and extending his age. A person at the root of the Matou lineage with little direct connection to Kariya. Zouken was a genuine specter surviving in the current era.
"I heard about something unforgivable. About how the Matou house is committing some outrageous disgrace."
Kariya had admitted several times that the mage he was now facing was powerful with unmatched cruelty. A man who was the embodiment of everything Kariya had come to hate and despise throughout his existence. Even if that man killed him, Kariya would definitely hate him fiercely until the end.
With the confrontation ten years ago, Kariya faced that strong spirit and escaped the Matou, managing to conquer his freedom.
"I heard you took in the second daughter of the Tohsaka. You want to preserve the Matou mage lineage so badly?"
Zouken grimaced at the provocative tone of Kariya's questioning.
"You want to talk about that? Nothing more? Who do you think is responsible for the fall of the Matou? In the end, Byakuya's son finally became Null of Magic Circuits. The pure Matou bloodline collapsed with this generation. But, more than your older brother Byakuya, who received the foundation of a mage, it was you, Kariya. If you had obediently accepted your inheritance and accessed the secrets of the Matou, we wouldn't be pressed by circumstances. And that's all your…"
But Kariya, with a scoff, deflected the threatening attitude of the old man who was heating up with foam at the mouth.
"Stop with your comedy, vampire. What's the problem with maintaining the Matou line? Don't make me laugh. There's nothing wrong for you, even if no new Matou generation is produced. The discussion is over, since you'll keep living for two hundred years or a thousand years, huh?"
As Kariya guessed correctly, Zouken gave a suspicious smile, as if the anger until now was a lie. That was the smile of a monster who doesn't even consider human emotions as shards.
"As always, you're a loveless fellow. You speak and behave with frankness."
"Whatever, that's how you trained me. I'm not one to beat around the bush."
A wet sound came from the back of the old man's throat, as if he were laughing pleasantly.
"That's right. I probably could outlive you and Byakuya's son in a distant future."
"But, even so, it was just a matter of how long I can preserve this body from its daily decay. Even if a Matou heir is unnecessary, a Matou mage was necessary. To win the Grail, I mean."
"… So, in the end, that's your goal?"
That fit well with Kariya's guess. It was immortality that this old mage was steadfastly pursuing.
The wish-granting machine called the Grail could fulfill it once completed… What suffocated this monster who wouldn't die after centuries was the hope placed in that miracle.
"The return of the 60-year cycle is for next year. But for the fourth Holy Grail War, the fourth Heaven's Feel, there will be no player from the Matou. Your brother, Byakuya, doesn't have the prana level of a Servant. He doesn't even have the Command Seals. But even if we must give up this battle, there's a chance for the next one in 60 years. There's no doubt an excellent user can be born from the Tohsaka daughter. I have high expectations for her as a good vessel."
The face of Tohsaka Sakura appeared behind Kariya's eyelids.
A late bloomer always behind her sister Rin, a fragile-looking girl.
A child far too young to bear the cruel fate of a mage.
Swallowing his boiling anger, Kariya feigned a calm attitude.
Here and now, he was here to negotiate with Zouken. There was nothing to gain by being emotional.
"… If that's what it's about, if you want the Holy Grail, then there's no need for Tohsaka Sakura, right?"
Zouken's eyes narrowed, suspicious of the hidden meaning in Kariya's words.
"You, what trick do you have in mind?"
"A deal, Matou Zouken. I'll bring the Matou name to the next Heaven's Feel. In exchange, you release Tohsaka Sakura."
Surprised for only the brief moment of a breath, Zouken then laughed with disdain.
"Kha, don't be stupid. A failure who never studied anything would be the Master of a Servant in a year?"
"You have the secret to make that possible, don't you? With your Crest Worms you're so proud of, old man."
Kariya jumped straight to the point, staring the old mage in the face.
"Plant your Crest Worms in me. You can do it, in the flesh and blood of the filthy Matou. The compatibility must be much better than with the daughter of another house."
Zouken's face changed from human to mage, an expressionless face, that was the face of a mage.
"Kariya… do you want to die?"
"Don't tell me you're worried? Father."
Zouken seemed to realize that Kariya was serious. Coldly, the mage assessed Kariya, looking at him, then took a deep breath.
"I must say I expected more from you than from Byakuya. After expanding your Magic Circuits with the Crest Worms, if we can train you thoroughly for a year, the Holy Grail might select you… Even so, I can't understand. Why would you go so far for a little girl?"
"Just let the Matou tenacity be handled by Matou hands. Don't involve unrelated outsiders."
"Once again with your admirable dedication."
As if enjoying all this, Zouken showed a complacent smile, full of his ill will toward Kariya.
"But, Kariya, if your purpose is to keep others uninvolved, aren't you a bit late? Do you know how many days have passed since the Tohsaka daughter came to our family?"
Despair rushed through, crushing Kariya's chest.
"Old man, you mean…"
"There were terrible screams for the first three days, but on the fourth day, she was silent. Today, she was thrown at dawn into the worm pit to test how well she'd last, but, ho ho, she endured it for half a day and is still breathing. What do you know, the Tohsaka material isn't defective."
Kariya's shoulders trembled with a murderous intent beyond hatred.
He wanted to grab that evil mage by the neck, strangle him with all his strength, and break him, right now…
That was the impulse raging inside Kariya.
But Kariya accepted it. Even if he was wasting away to the point of withering, Zouken was a mage. Kariya couldn't even try to kill him here. He didn't even have a fragment of the power needed to do that.
To save Sakura, there was no other way but to negotiate.
Seeing through the conflict within Kariya, Zouken let out a dark, satisfied laugh.
"So, what will you do? The little girl is already broken, full of worms from head to toe. But if you still think you want to save her, well, I won't think twice."
"… No objections. Let's do it."
Kariya responded with a chilling voice. Of course, he had no other choice.
"Excellent, excellent. Well, we can still train you as much as possible. But know that I'll continue with Sakura's training as long as you don't show any results."
Cackling, the old mage's good humor was mocking Kariya with his anger and despair.
"Instead of restoring a failure who already betrayed us, the success rate of getting a child out of this is much higher. I'm in favor of making the most of every opportunity, one at a time. I'm giving up on this Heaven's Feel, as I've already considered it a lost battle. But if, by a one-in-a-million chance, you manage to get the Grail… I agree. If that happens, naturally, I'll have no business with the Tohsaka daughter. I'd be done with the only thing I'm training her for."
"… You're not deceiving me, are you? Matou Zouken."
"Kariya, if you think you need five faces to talk to me, try enduring the Crest Worms first. Yes, try being the worms' nursery for a week first. If you haven't died of insanity by then, I'll assume you're really serious."
Leaning on his cane and straightening his back with difficulty, Zouken turned to Kariya with an alien smile that fully displayed his malice.
"So, let's begin the preparations without delay. We'll complete the treatment immediately. If you want to reconsider, do it now."
Nodding silently, Kariya cast aside his last hesitation.
He would become Zouken's puppet as soon as he let the worms into his body. With that, there would be no way to rebel against the old mage. If he managed to qualify as a mage, Kariya and his Matou blood would surely receive the Command Seals.
Heaven's Feel. The only chance of salvation for Tohsaka Sakura. The choice he would never be able to reach with this flesh and blood.
Kariya might lose his life in exchange. Even if he wasn't defeated by the other Masters, Kariya's flesh would be devoured by the worms upon taking in the Crest Worms for a period as short as a year, and his life expectancy would be no more than a few years.
But that didn't matter.
Kariya's decision was too late. Aoi's daughter would have lived in peace with her mother if he had had the same determination ten years ago. The fate he rejected was passed on and fell upon an innocent little girl.
There was no redemption for that. If there was a path to atonement, it would be none other than returning a normal life to the girl.
Moreover, if he had to eliminate all six remaining Masters to reach the Holy Grail…
Among those who brought tragedy to the girl called Sakura, there was at least one person for whom he could bring a requiem.
"Tohsaka, Tokiomi…"
As the head of one of the three founding families, there was no doubt he would bear the Command Seals.
Different from his sense of guilt toward Aoi and his hatred toward Zouken, there was a resident hatred that had accumulated until today.
A very dark feeling of vengeance silently began to burn in the depths of Matou Kariya's heart like a smothered fire.