It's tiring, but Jeremy tells himself he won't stop. His body aches from the endless back-and-forth across the city, muscles sore and eyes burning, but there's a restless fire beneath it all, something that won't let him quit.
He has searched through nearly every pub in the city, retracing steps, following vague trails, only to realize just how stupid this whole mission feels.
He's moving like a blind man, chasing a shadow with nothing to guide him.
He hadn't even seen the person well, yet here he was, dragging his feet into yet another dim, dusty bar, driven by the vague hope that he might spot a glimmer, a hint, anything to connect him back to that dancer.
Of course, someone like that wouldn't be hovering around pubs after stealing something so valuable.
It should have been obvious. No one with a brain would stick around the scene after a spectacle like that.
But even after that realization, even after admitting to himself how ridiculous this all is, Jeremy still pushes forward and enters the next pub he sees.
His boots drag over the scuffed wooden floor, eyes scanning every dull corner. The place is dimly lit, the air stale, and the energy practically nonexistent.
Of course there's no one like that dancing around here. The bar is nearly deserted, a few old souls hunched over half-empty glasses, quiet music playing, no lights flashing.
He finally breaks the pattern and speaks to someone for the first time he's opened his mouth since he started searching.
A man with tired eyes and a drink already halfway gone sits nearby, looking like he's seen it all before.
"Hey, pal? What's happened?" Jeremy mutters, trying to sound casual, though his voice betrays his fatigue. "I heard she was coming here today."
He doesn't even process how strange it sounds to say it aloud referring to that person as "she," because even now, Jeremy is not sure whether to fight it or believe it.
The man lifts his eyes and laughs, clearly entertained by the question. "Who? The dancing fairy? No, man. That was yesterday. She was here yesterday. You really think she'd be around here when the place to look this deserted? Nah... there would have been a swam of people here right now." He chuckles, gesturing to the empty room with his glass. "I heard she's at Y.O.L.O Pub tonight. That's where everyone's gone."
YOLO. Jeremy repeats silently. He's heard of it before, the... "You Only Leave Once pub."
That must be the place where Fenris found him. And Fenris is right, he goes around the city like a storm.
The man eyes Jeremy curiously, watching how still he's gone, how far away his stare looks. "Wait," the guy adds, "you've never seen her, have you? You must've just heard about her that's why you're running around like this trying to have a glimpse of her."
He laughs again, but Jeremy's mind isn't on him anymore. It's spinning, and racing trying to piece things together faster than he can breathe.
"Man," the guy continues, shaking his head, "trust me you don't want to see her. Because once you do, you'll never stop. She gets in your head, and that's it. You won't be able to think about anything else. You won't understand even if I tried to explain it. It's like a drug, man. That dancing figure? It stays in your brain, takes over, and all you can do is remember it over and over and over."
Jeremy listens but feels like he's sinking, the man's words swirling around him like smoke.
He talks about the unfinished need, the torture of watching her dance but never being able to touch.
The way the men gather around like vultures, starved for the figure. That hollow ache that lingers afterward, gnawing at them, eating at them from the inside.
And suddenly, Jeremy realizes that it's not just the person's looks or allure. It's the way they crawl into your mind, stir something desperate inside you, and leave you restless, craving more without even knowing why.
So what if that's exactly what happened with Fenris?! No... no, it can't be that. Fenris got his strength back. So the person is definitely his mate.
He sighs heavily massaging his temples. He might've expected this kind of news about that dancer, maybe a bit of exaggeration, but hearing the man talk like he's half-mad from just watching that dancer, it hits Jeremy differently.
He now understands why Fenris had reacted the way he did.
If it hadn't been for Fenris's sheer strength back when he was still around that person, then he wouldn't have hesitated to agree with him.. to believe just as strongly that there was no way that could be his mate.
Because truly, why would someone like Fenris be given that mate of all people?
What exactly was the moon goddess trying to do to him? His bloodline had always ruled without struggle , Alphas before him had found their mates without complication, produced heirs without delay, and passed on their power in order.
Everything had flowed as it was meant to for generations. So why is it suddenly different when it comes to Fenris?
Why is the goddess making it so hard for him?
What if... the moon goddess doesn't want him to be Alpha at all? That thought hits like a stone in the gut.
Because even if that person truly is his mate... even if Fenris could somehow bring himself to accept a male mate, then what future would he have as Alpha? How would he produce an heir? That one truth alone is enough to dismantle everything.
He freezes, standing there in place, mind spinning helplessly. What if there's something Fenris did, something he's not even aware of, some offense he committed unknowingly, and now he's being punished for it?
What if the moon goddess wants Callum to be the one.
Because... he has everything handed to him on a silver platter. The path has been smooth for him from the start, he's now admired by the elders, favored by the pack, untouched by chaos, has a mate who's already carrying a heir.
So what if... the goddess has already chosen him?
But that thought is even harder to accept. Because of all the people, Callum is the last person worthy of leading.
He's cruel, self-serving, and heartless in ways that Fenris could never be. How could the goddess want someone like him to guide her people?
What is actually going on?
The questions swirl relentlessly in his head, building pressure until he can't take it. He turns away and begins to walk off, unable to remain in place.
He doesn't even hear the man still speaking behind him, his thoughts are too loud, dragging him deeper into a mental fog that won't let him breathe.
He doesn't know what to believe anymore. Nothing makes sense, no matter which way he turns it.
Even if they manage to find this dancer again, it won't solve the bigger problem. Because once the pack discovers that Fenris's mate is a man, they'll turn on him just the same.
They might say he's been cursed. They'll question the will of the goddess. They'll declare that Fenris is unfit to lead, not just because of his mate, but because he can't even give an heir that will take after him.
And if he hides the truth, if he keeps the mate's gender identity secret and the pack realizes he still hasn't produced an heir, that will be even worse. They'll call him infertile.
So maybe... maybe Fenris is right.
Maybe stepping down is the only thing left to do.
Maybe he should just let things fall the way they're meant to, if the moon goddess has already made her decision, who is he to fight it?
And yet, despite all that, there's still one thing he can't let go of.
He makes up his mind in silence not to force Fenris to stay in the throne, he will let him surrender the title if that's what he truly chooses.
But he won't give up on helping him get his strength back. He will still track that man down, no matter what it takes. Because that dancer, whoever he is... was more than just a disruption.
If that dancer really does give Fenris his strength back and stops him from completely becoming nothing by the time he turns thirty, then he's going to have Fenris mark him, no matter how much he refuses.
At the very least, Fenris can do it for him, not for the pack.