Reality
Dogzi was live-streaming the new Version 1.1 Yanqing Companion Mission. The moment Jingliu's figure appeared in the game, the entire chat was flooded with the sound of drooling: prprprprprpr!
[Look at that waistline! Look at those long, white legs! And that waist-length silver hair... sluuuuurp!]
[Ah! I can't take it anymore! My Mara! My Mara is about to act up!!]
[Jing Yuan! How could you have laid a hand on your beautiful master back then! JING YUAN!!]
[Jingliu: This kid is my grand-disciple?]
[Pant, pant! Jingliu! My Jingliu!]
[Big sister! It's a big sister, ahhhhh! Big sister, come and trick me! I'm super easy to trick!]
[White hair and red eyes! Isn't this a critical hit on my preferences!]
[I'm finished.]
[As expected of you, short and to the point!]
"Big sister! Hehehe! Big sister!~"
Dogzi stared at Jingliu, smiling like an idiot while wiping the drool from the corner of his mouth.
This was proof that it wasn't just Stelle who had a preference for older sister types; these players were truly, deeply devoted to them...
And it was rare to find a character like Jingliu who could so perfectly and wildly trample all over the players' strike zone!
"Jingliu! JINGLIU!! How can I live without you!"
Just from looking at Jingliu's model, Dogzi couldn't help but start going feral. But then he started chuckling foolishly again. Finally, he decisively took control of Yanqing and began to scrutinize Jingliu from every possible angle, a full three hundred and sixty-five degrees.
[Hiss... you there? Why aren't you taking care of the stream room?]
[Nonsense! Isn't he taking great care of us?!]
[Oh! Oh~! OH!!! OH...]
[What are you doing!]
[I'm exercising.]
As the mission progressed, the scene where Jingliu leaped into the sky and unleashed her magnificent technique on Yanqing ignited the passion of even more players.
"Ohoho! She's an un-hinged ice queen! MiHoYo! Release her already! This is the third satellite now!"
Dogzi wailed, then started complaining frantically to his chat.
"Dammit! I want to drink the five-star Wende's milk, but I can't! I want a taste of the robot's engine oil, but I can't! Now I finally want a cold drink, and you still won't let me have it!!"
[Wende's is fine, because I want it too, but Screwllum is taking it too far!]
[Seriously, don't robots have... (you know what)?]
[What? Are you guys gonna suck on the oil nozzle?]
[As the fandom saying goes: "Wende's tits, Dan Heng's waist, Old Yang's ass, and Jing Yuan's flair!"]
[And where does that place the lord of human amusement, old Sampo?]
[Sampo? He's not bad, but even he can't hold a candle to Yifu Wende!]
[Hiss...]
"Stop! You think I don't know who's what! Let me tell you, I'm an old connoisseur! You think I don't know the flavor of every brand of drink!"
Dogzi shook his head, looking like he knew everything.
[One look and you can tell his brain has turned to mush.]
[Such an expert~]
[Screwllum: I'll xxxx you]
[Absolutely unhinged!]
[Stop talking! I'm hungry! I'm drinking milk tonight!]
[Then is Uncle Yang's old-fashioned yogurt?]
[Welt: Are you being polite?]
[It's douzhi.]
[You're even more of a d*ck!]
[Then Gepard's...]
[Is Kvass...]
[So my whole Landau family is just made of bread, huh?]
Seeing the bullet comments that were even more unhinged than he was, Dogzi revealed a gratified smile. Surely a virgin super-moderator wouldn't ban him for something of this scale, right? Right?
"Hah, so you see, you guys still don't get it! So lame!"
[What? I think you're the one who doesn't get it!]
[Why is this dog talking so weirdly?]
[So you're sayin' you get it, huh?]
[Dogzi: You kidding? I totally get it, okay!]
"Tsk~ Believe it or not, I just get it! No more talk, let's just continue the story!"
---o---
Wende watched as Jingliu left a final sword strike for Yanqing, then vanished. His heart was a tangled mess of emotions.
Heh... women. They sure know how to win over little boys.
Looking at the still-clueless Yanqing on the screen, Wende shook his head in sympathy.
You don't know the influence this woman will have on you now, but in the future, every time you practice your sword... you'll never be able to forget her!
This was a lesson his memory-self had learned through blood and tears!
"Huh? It's over already? The action log is gone too?" March asked, a little surprised at the abrupt end of the recording, feeling like it wasn't enough.
"Yeah, the person recording went out to gather more material," Stelle, standing beside Wende, deadpanned a cold joke.
"Mmm, good one. Don't tell it again!"
"But speaking of which, that woman named Jingliu seems so dangerous... just how many monsters and demons have come to the Luofu..." March said, throwing her hands up.
"Ahem... March."
Wende coughed lightly, reminding her that they had also just arrived, and not to lump them in with the others.
"Hehe... we... we don't count! At most, we're just cosmic part-timers!" March scratched her neck, looking embarrassed but speaking with righteous conviction.
"Sigh... we should just hand this over to General Jing Yuan. I remember there's a Space Anchor nearby. We'll let Uncle Yang know and then head to Changle Tian."
Wende shrugged, looking indifferent.
Even though his memory-self was thoroughly "trained" by her, he wasn't the one who got trained, it was just a memory. He had no particular feelings for that woman, he just hoped...
Wende couldn't help but shiver.
The memory... the memory was still chasing him!
"No, no, no..."
Wende shook his head, trying to force the image of that small, cold hand caressing him from his mind.
Suddenly, a small, cool hand touched his forehead, scaring him so badly his PTSD almost flared up on the spot.
"What's wrong with you? Are you starting to feel cold again?"
March removed her hand from Wende's forehead, her face full of concern.
"No... I'm fine, I just suddenly felt..."
Wende unconsciously shrank his neck. He suddenly had the urge to leave the Xianzhou. If that crazy woman knew he was here...
He didn't know what the consequences would be, and he didn't want to know!
Whatever, he'd take it one step at a time. Back then, the old man had used his own power to seal half of Jingliu's Mara. He believed she would probably go easy on him, for the sake of their master-disciple bond and for the fact that his master saved her life.
"Let's go."
Wende shook his head. He looked at Little March, who was staring at him with a strange expression, and he couldn't help but tilt his head.
"Is something wrong?"
"I just feel like you've been completely distracted ever since you saw that woman. Wende, did you know her from before?" March asked, her expression subtle.
"Ah, this... Oh, right! I'll go ask Dan Heng when he's coming back! We'll wait for him in Changle Tian so he doesn't have trouble finding us!"
"Damn it! Don't change the subject!"