Tarou Shiozawa POV
High school life is supposed to be a formative time of friendships, self-discovery, and moments you'll look back on fondly.
That's what people say anyway for me it was none of those things.
I wasn't invisible nor was I some tragic outcast.
People knew my name and occasionally they'd talk to me if the situation called for it but that's where it ended nobody sought me out, nobody stuck around, I existed on the periphery of everyone's life, and I quickly realized that's all I would ever be.
At first, I thought it was my fault I tried to fit in by laughing when I didn't find things funny, pretended to care about topics I didn't understand, and nodded along as if I belonged.
It didn't take long to see how pointless it was though conversations moved on without me, jokes flew over my head, and when people split off into smaller groups I was always the one left behind.
So I stopped why bother when the outcome would never change?
I spent my time on things that actually interested me games, books, puzzles, and drawing. I kept myself busy not because I was content but because it was better than feeling sorry for myself.
Over time I convinced myself I didn't need anyone and maybe I even believed it.
Every so often though I'd hear people talk about their "unforgettable memories" or how they couldn't imagine life without their friends and I'd feel a dull ache half bitterness, half indifference.
Not because I wanted to be them but because it reminded me how different I was.
People like to say high school is what you make of it but that's a lie some people are handed the perfect script and stage to act out their grand dramas, while the rest of us are left backstage wondering why we even bothered to show up.
I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never understand the kind of connection people seem to find so easily.
It's not that I hate them or envy them anymore it's just that I simply don't care anymore.
Let them have their youth, their memories, their lifelong bonds I've got my games, my books, my puzzles, and that's more than enough for me.
My over all conclusion riajū please go choke on your fake miserable lives! And stay out of my way.
"YOU GO FREAKING DIE! AND YOU CAN GO CHOKE ON YOUR OWN!" Hiratsuka-sensei shouted at both me and a fellow student by the name of Hikigaiya Hachiman.
She was quite the eye-catching beauty but with an attitude like her's it's no wonder she's still single a shame really.
"Just what the hell is this crap Hikigaiya! Shiozawa!" Hiratsuka exclaimed ripping up both of our essay's causing my brows to twitch.
Good lord this woman really needs to get laid there was no need to get violent over an essay...even if the ending wasn't appropriate but at least I didn't go tell someone to die compared to Hikigaiya.
"Did you two even pay attention to what I told you to write?" she asked "an essay about looking back on high school life," I replied keeping my gaze away from her.
"Exactly so how did that turn into this pile of garbage...sigh by the way your eyes are like deadfish Hikigaiya, and your hair looks like the tail of skunk Tarou," she said off handedly "yeah and you're still a single woman," I muttered back.
A flash of air blows across my cheek as I dumbly stared at the sweetly smiling face of Hiratsuka-sensei. Slowly I turned to my left seeing her fist outstretched "what was that I couldn't quite hear you Tarou," she asked.
I quickly shook my head fast "no no absolutely nothing sensei!" I exclaimed nervously swallowing but thankfully she put her fist away "ah okay for a moment I thought you had just called me single," she said letting out an ominous laugh.
I gave a wry smile but from the corner of my eye I can also see Hachiman frozen up nervously sweating from sensei's scary vibes.
Placing a hand under her chin sensei finally spoke "alright you two come with me," she said taking us to a random club room.
When the door opens the both of us could see a girl with long black hair, blue eyes, and elegant appearance sitting in a chair reading a book. You know if this was an anime then this moment right here would be when the main character meets his love interest for the first time...but sadly this is reality.
As the girl turned to address Hiratsuka-sensei I leaned down over to Hachiman whispering "hey Hikigaiya you know who that?" I asked he whispers back in a surprised tone "you really don't know who that is?" I shake my head "no I don't waste my time learning about people who don't interact with me or I them," I explained with a shrug.
"Well that's Yukino Yukinoshita from class 2-J whose class is mostly filled with all girls and everyone on campus knows who she is since she stands out so much," Hachiman said.
I shrugged "seems like she's one of those ice queen types that other boys like but admire from afar in fear of being shot down like a bug," I bluntly told my observation.
Years of being on my own have allowed me to see past the surface of people and see the patterns that form around them.
The quiet ones, the attention-seekers, and the ones who put on facades they all have their reasons, flaws, and masks to hide behind I've learned to read them all without really trying.
"Hmm you're not wrong she's got that 'I'm too good for you' vibe going on," Hikigaiya whispered back.
"So who are these two weirdos?" Yukinoshita suddenly asked "these two are looking to join your club," Hiratsuka-sensei said as I shot her a narrowed look "I beg your finest pardon? When did I eve-" I promptly stopped when I saw her glaring at me with a spectral warrior behind her.
"Ahem my name is Tarou Shiozawa from class 2-F" I quickly shifted my sentence causing Hiratsuka to revert back to normal self while Hikigaiya awkwardly scratched the back of his head.
"Hikigaiya Hachiman also from class 2-F, err if I may ask why do the two of us have to join this club" he said with a slight stutter.
"I am ordering you two to join this club as punishment for your horrible essays no objections, back talk, protests, or questions," sensei explained causing me too inwardly curse the woman I didn't want to be in some random club and waste my time that I could be using to do other things.
Oi oi this is a clear abuse of power sensei "as you can tell that the fish eyed one is rotten while the skunk haired one is near the same but not nearly rotten and as a result, they are both lonely pitiful creatures," Hiratsuka-sensei said causing me to click my tongue.
I couldn't help but mutter under my breath, "lonely pitiful creatures, huh? Nice to know where we stand in your eye sensei."
Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes narrowed, her fist raised slightly "what was that, Tarou?" she asked sweetly but her tone carried the unmistakable weight of impending doom.
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing, sensei!" I said quickly raising my hands in mock surrender. Beside me Hachiman sighed deeply clearly resigned to whatever fate awaited us in this so-called club.
Yukinoshita Yukino regarded us with an expression that could only be described as disinterest mixed with disdain "I see so you've decided to dump these two... how should I put it... strays on me?" she asked addressing Hiratsuka-sensei without sparing us another glance. Her voice was as cold and sharp as the edge of a blade.
Hachiman flinched slightly at the comment, but I simply rolled my eyes "strays, huh? Well, at least you're living up to the 'too-good-for-you' persona I expected," I muttered just loud enough for her to hear.
Her gaze snapped to me icy and piercing "do you have something to say, Shiozawa-san?" she asked, her tone polite but dripping with condescension.
"Not at all," I replied with a casual shrug, meeting her glare head-on "just admiring how quickly you've confirmed my first impression of you it's almost impressive," there was a moment of silence after but was soon broken by Hiratsuka "anyways my request is that you help reform these two by having them as club members."
Yukinoshita quickly shook her head clutching her chest tightly "no, no, no I respectfully decline sensei they both look like they would do something to me especially with their eyes," she said causing me to scoff "yeah in your dreams maybe princess but I prefer woman that are well developed not flat or thin like a pretzel," I shamelessly admitted my preference causing both Hiratsuka and Yukinoshita to turn red in the face.
Although I am not much attracted to her I can clearly see Hachiman trying his best to avoid looking at Yukinoshita's flat chest but was failing rather poorly at it...seriously what bad taste but then again who am I to judge someone on their preferences.
"Either way you don't have to worry about them doing anything to you they would not do anything that would break the law right Hikigaiya? Shiozawa?" she questioned.
"The fact that you need to even ask that says more about your opinion of us than anything else," I finished crossing my arms "seriously sensei we're not delinquents."
Hikigaya, standing next to me looks down slightly "I'd rather you just say that we can make rational decisions," he said in a deadpan voice.
"Anyways I am leaving them in your care Yukinoshita," sensei said once more causing Yukinoshita to sigh with resignation "very well I can't refuse the request of a teacher," she relented making sensei nod "good," then she turned and left.
I could be playing video games right about now but no I got to do this stupid shit I inwardly complained in annoyance.
Walking over I pulled out a chair for myself placing it far away from Yukinoshita and just went on my phone I may as well use the time to catch up on some reading.
Hachiman was still standing awkwardly looking rather sweaty and nervous if I didn't know any better I'd say the guy was having a PTSD flashback with the way he has that lost look in his eyes.
"Are you seriously going to keep standing? Come sit down," Yukinoshita said breaking the silence "huh? O-okay...sorry," he stuttered out.
Could you be anymore awkward? I questioned to myself but none the less kept my gaze entirely focused on my screen ignoring the world around me.
Hikigaiya placed his own seat in the middle acting like a barrier between both Yukinoshita and I.
Nervously the other boy kept glancing around until finally Yukinoshita asked "is there a problem Hikigaiya?"
"Uh well it's just that I am really confused by all of this what kind of club is this supposed to be," he inquired scratching the back of his head most likely a habit born from his nervousness and loner attitude.
Which I don't really judge him for I find that both Hikigaiya and myself are somewhat similar in a way when it comes to our respective loner status's I thought while opening up the Mortal Kombat X mobile app on my phone.
I needed more souls so I could buy a pack containing Classic Ermac.
"Try and give it a guess," Yukinoshita replied glancing up from her book "both of you," she added with a slight glare at the fact that I wasn't paying attention.
I sighed placing my phone down while Hachiman thoughtfully put a hand to his chin and then turned "a literary club?" he guessed.
"Oh why do you say that?" Yukinoshita asked.
Crossing his arms together Hachiman responded "well that's easy this room has no particular back drop nor special equipment plus you've been reading a book this whole time," he listed out.
"yeah no that's wrong," I cut in surprising them both "oh is that right well then what's your guess?" Hachiman asked leaning back against his chair.
"I'll be straightforward with you two, I have no idea what this club is but what I do know is the fact this isn't no literary club because one the classroom would have shelves containing books not an overcrowded space filled with extra tables and chairs, two the location of this place is in some dusty ass corner with only one member that being you princess which means whatever this club of yours does is probably of little importance compared to another club like the leadership club," I explained adopting the best Sherlock Holmes voice I could muster.
I received an even harsher look for that "hey don't give me that look just because you can't handle the truth princess," I said placing my hands up in a surrender pose.
"Well first off Hikigaya, and Shiozawa" oof going by the extra emphasis on my last name she definitely was not happy "what we do here isn't of little importance, secondly what I am currently doing can be considered a part of club activities," Yukinoshita said closing her book shut.
"Oh well then what exactly is it then?" Hachiman grumpily asked turning his head away from her.
"How long has it been since either of the two of you ever properly spoken with a girl?" Yukinoshita suddenly asked taking us off guard.
A memory went through my head.
I was sitting alone in my favorite corner of the school during lunch with a nice book when one of the popular girls of the school popped up from around the corner "oh Tarou just the person I was looking for," she said.
"Huh? You serious?" I questioned putting my book down a bit shy since no one really talked to me "yeah I want to ask if you could finish up both halves of our English Project tonight? I've got plans so I won't be able to do my half."
Glancing down awkwardly "well uh I mean yeah..sure I guess I could," was my mumbled response as she let out a smile that was ever oh so disgustingly fake it made me want to vomit "awesome! Thanks Tarou you're a lifesaver," then just like that she walked away.
It was the day that defined the first of the many rules that I came up with when it came to the art of being a loner.
Never trust someone who will only use you to their advantage and then throw you away when it's convenient for them I thought with a slight clench of my hands.
"A compassionate few that donate their time to those of the less fortunate, society calls it volunteer work we extend a working hand to those in need that is what this club, this is a Service Club, and is therefore not unimportant as you say Shiozawa," Yukinoshita explained standing up from her seat.
The wind from outside breezed into the room gently ruffling her hair and all that now remained was a momentary silence "now as I've been asked I will fulfill my duty of fixing those little problems of yours so show some gratitude," and just like that my mood went down the drain.
"Are you serious?" Hachiman asked with a deadpan while I added "oh she's serious Hikigaiya, seriously delusional that is. We don't need any damn fixing if anything I am doing just damn fine thank you very much I scored higher than any of the other students here during my entrance exams, and have pretty high grades in almost all of my classes despite the fact that I don't even pay attention most of the time."
"I agree I am pretty damn efficient in my own special way," Hachiman stood up facing Yukinoshita "I was third in the Japanese ability test, and I am pretty good looking ignoring the fact that I have no friends or girlfriends I am in a pretty high league!"
"Well said man well said," I said clapping my hands for my fellow loner.
"Wow it's honestly impressive that you both can say that so confidentially your both weird and I am now definitely creeped out," Yukinoshita retorted.
"You're the weirdo!" Hachiman said getting a bit annoyed.
"Plus no one asked for your opinion anyways princess," I added in "stop calling me that," Yukinoshita demanded with glare "or what gonna cry about it?" I taunted.
"Tch based on what I've seen so far the reason your both so lonely is because of your stupid male prides as for your looks well it's not exactly to behold for either of you," Yukinoshita said which got me slightly ticked off.
"Oh yeah well I can't say your much of beautiful sight to look at I mean you're just a dick and I'll honestly be surprised if any guy ever asks you out," I fired back placing my hands up to make my point.
Just before things could get escalated Hiratsuka-sensei came back into the room "I am coming in Yukinoshita," she announced.
Yukinoshita turned "I said knock."
"Yeah sorry, sounds like you're having some problems dealing with our little friends here," Hiratsuka apologized.
"It's because neither of them realize that they have a problem," she said shrugging her hand.
"No, it's not what in the hell why is everyone always constantly telling us to change I don't want other people trying to tell me who to be," Hachiman cut in folding his arms together.
"That's how you run from your problems isn't it?" Yukinoshita said with a raised brow.
"Changing is a way of running from your problems to isn't it why can't you just accept some one for who they are and what's in their past?" Hachiman asked.
"That wont...Because that's not going to solve anyone's worries nor will it save anyone," Yukinoshita replied after a small pause.
"Tch save anyone? How can you even think of saving anyone when you can't even save yourself," I calmly spoke up staring her down "let me tell you something I know plenty of fakers like you Yukino Yukinoshita you're just using this whole club thing of helping others as a front-"
"-a front for what?" Yukinoshita's voice was sharp almost cutting, but there was a flicker of something else beneath it.
"A front so you don't have to face how powerless you really feel" I coldly said "you act like some sort of savior to the people that come here, but really it's because you can't fix yourself so you try to cope by trying to help others with this so-called service club of yours's."
Silence entered the room as everyone awkwardly stood in their spots while I grabbed my bag swinging it over my back and stormed off.
.
.
.
(Sometime later After Final Class Hours - The Hallways)
I leaned over against a wall letting out a sigh "God damn it I went too far...but I just can't stand people who so bluntly lie," I muttered feeling an irritating twinge in my chest.
"Hey uh..that was pretty intense what happened back in the clubroom," the familiar voice of Hikigaiya called out.
I glanced up spotting his hunched figure beside me "oh it's you Hikigaiya, what do you want?" I grumbled.
"Well Hiratsuka-sensei said you and I still have to go to the club after class if you don't, she'll and I quote 'use her fist of love smash technique,' on you," Hachiman informed.
I rolled my eyes "the audacity of that women combining two techniques from different anime...but fine lets go," I grumbled as we began side by side.
He walked with a lazy slouch, while I had my hands in my pants pockets "so you're a fellow loner to," Hachiman spoke breaking the silence between us.
I glanced over him before letting out an approving hum "yeah and a proud one to," I replied with no shame.
"Same," Hachiman agreed as we finally arrived at the doorsteps of the Service clubroom.
Great I thought looking at the place with some annoyance and dread.
-end of the chapter-
let me know your thoughts about the start so far and any suggestions you want to give which I may or may not take into consideration.