Dawn arrived in its many shades of gray.
Ashen stood at the edge of the training field, facing his teacher with a touch of nervousness, while Edward stood opposite him, his hands clasped behind his back, waiting for the light to arrive fully.
The mutual silence stretched for a while longer, and when the first clean light broke the horizon, Edward spoke.
"Your duties are cleared?"
Ashen nodded. "For the next month. Though your three new students will have less time to train for it."
"They'll manage. You're the priority right now." He unclasped his hands. "Get ready."
A rock materialized beside Ashen.
He looked at it.
The thing was enormous. It had a circular shape and looked really dense. Its surface was smooth with a radius of about two and a half meters.
Ashen ran his eyes over the rock sitting quietly on the ground and then looked back at his teacher in confusion.
"...What's this?"
"Your training companion. Try lifting it."
Ashen approached it carefully, and when he was within grabbing distance, he bent his knees, found purchase along the curved underside, and lifted.
"Urg—"
The weight hit his legs like a thunderbolt. He had the illusion that his tendons snapped for a moment. But it was merely his mind playing tricks, and with humongous effort, he managed to drag the thing up and onto his shoulder
He stood there, breathing heavily as he tried to find a better holding position, but to no avail. He felt that he would slip up and let go if he ever moved even slightly.
"...Too heavy."
"Can you hold it?"
"...Just."
"Good." Edward's voice carried satisfaction."Because that is precisely how it is designed to work."
Ashen looked at him sideways from beneath the rock.
"This tock is special. It's infused with concepts… but you don't need to know what concepts for now."
"What you need to actually know… is that its weight will always sit at the limit of what you can manage," Edward explained without decoration. "It will never exceed your capacity. But it will never drop below it either. You will constantly feel as though you are a moment from collapse."
"When your muscles fail, it lightens to match. When they recover, it increases to match." He paused. "If you attempt to throw it, it will become a hundred times heavier and crush you. If you attempt to move it sideways, the same. The only safe posture is the one you currently have. That posture is where you will remain until either someone else takes it from you, or I dismiss it."
Ashen wanted to ask how much he had to hold the rock… but he was dreading the answer, so he only settled on a deep exhale.
"...Haah."
"I'll see you tomorrow." Edward turned. "Try not to die before then."
He walked away.
Ashen stood in the early morning light with two and a half meters of impossible rock pressing down on his shoulder, staring at the empty field his teacher had just vacated.
Stuck to the ground a short distance away from him, the mischievous spear sat perfectly still for once.
…But he had the distinct impression it found this funny.
'...Shut up.'
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Ashe spent the next couple of hours in disbelief. Was this really it? Is he going to get stuck here wasting his time holding a rock? For how long? And for what purpose?
Then irritation started bubbling in.
The trembling of his muscles wasn't helping to soothe his mood either.
Nor was the forming sweat… the tightening of his forearms… or the burning of his shoulders.
But he grits his teeth. Humans are stubborn creatures. If the weight stays the same, he can endure.
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It seemed that he had spoken too soon.
As his strength faded bit by bit, the rock was getting… heavier.
Of course, it wasn't enough to crush him.
If Edward's words were to be trusted… that event will never come to be. But that son of a— Ehm, that teacher of his also said that the rock would never get heavier… so what was he feeling right now?
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As he watched the dawn arrive for the second time, the pale-faced Ashen was glad for only one thing. He reminded Seraphine to block the bond for the next month.
After she got proficient in it, she always did it at his request when he was training. He only persuaded her with when he confessed that the guilt wouldn't allow him to train if he knew she was suffering.
It was only then that she let go of her strange stubbornness to feel his pain alongside him and only let the flood of sensation come in when he put her in a coma with dreamweaving.
Thankfully, during the last few months, she was able to get proficient enough to hold the link shut for a month.
Ashen was sure she would be able to turn it on and off on command soon enough.
'...'
The distracting thoughts naturally ended, and the feeling he was trying to ignore tickled back in.
Pain. It had become a constant.
His muscles never truly failed, yet never recovered either. The rock faithfully adapted to his remaining strength like a cruel mirror.
When his arms weakened, the stone became lighter… but only just light enough to keep the strain unbearable.
Sleep was impossible. Rest didn't come.
And eventually… His mind started bargaining with him.
Just one moment.
Just a second to drop it.
But the consequences were clear. If he releases it, only being crushed to death awaits him, and not some illusory respite.
So he held.
And held
.
.
And held…
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When the seventh dawn shone on Ashen's dull face, Something finally moved aside from the smiling face on the spear that was stuck near him.
The sound of footsteps was heard, followed by the sight of his blasted teacher, who put him through this torture.
Ashen had the urge to just drop the rock right here and right now; he was almost sure that Edward would probably dismiss it before it crushed him to death.
But he held the impulse with strained patience. One thing he learned not to do after his crazy russian roulette escapade was to never gamble with his life when the other option isn't death.
So 'almost sure' and 'probably' wouldn't cut it here. He never knew if Edward had a change of heart and secretly wanted his death anyway.
"That's a really intense look you have there, son." The Kingmaker's voice was vastly more easygoing in comparison to Ashen's dark thoughts.
"..."
Ashen didn't trust his temper, so he remained silent, afraid that he'd do something rash if he were to speak up.
"You are probably wondering why you have to go through this… what's the end goal…?" Edward nodded in understanding, "I always encourage my students to understand what they are getting themselves into before committing, so I cannot fault you for thinking so, but Ashen…"
His tone turned serious, "Some things simply can't be explained… they must be felt."
'Then why are you talking.'
"But I'll try…" He shrugged, "Thing is… your will is fragile."
Ashen stared at him.
'This godforsaken rock isn't enough, so he came to rile me up in person.'
"I don't mean that as an insult. Hear me out." Edward's expression was serious now. "You are someone who will never stop moving while you draw breath. I can see that clearly. You will claw toward your goals regardless of what life throws in front of you. For someone your age… not even thirty, that kind of mindset is genuinely rare. I've never seen discipline like yours in someone this young."
A brief pause.
"But it isn't enough." Then he added bluntly.
"The things waiting for you out there aren't your average opponents. Some are older than centuries. Others are more insidious than anything that's simply lived a long time." Ashen could swear he heard a trembling in his tone.
"They will find the cracks in your mind and work at them, toying with you and everyone you hold dear. They will do everything to make you fall. And when you do fall, it will happen, you will find your way back up. I believe that. I've watched you do it."
He looked at Ashen steadily.
"But in the world we live in, falling once often means the end of the road. You've had magnificent people around you… people who were there when it mattered, who held you up when you were about to go under. More than once, I'd wager."
"..."
"But can you guarantee they'll be there for the next one? That they'll arrive in time?"
The silence stretched.
"No," Edward said. "You can't. So."
He looked at the rock. Then back at Ashen.
"I'm going to take that fragile, endless will of yours and make it something harder. The rock is the forge. Its weight is the hammer." The corner of his mouth moved up. "By the end of it, you will probably hate me."
A beat.
"You probably hate me now."
'...Yes.'
"I'll take it." his expression brightened, surprisingly, as if he almost wanted to be hated. "A student who hates me… or a student who can't hate me because he's dead."
He turned to leave.
"I'll take the first one every fucking time."