The baby blinked slowly, utterly confused.
He had no clue what was happening.
One minute, it was just the usual crying and cold air of being born, and the next… he was at the center of what could only be described as a royal summit. The room was filled with high-ranking nobles in luxurious garb, all staring at him like he was a fallen star.
He could barely move, already sweating from how many times he'd been passed around like a sacred artifact.
『This… this isn't normal, right? I've been passed around more times than pornstar… (;一_一)』
He was still unable to process how his life had gone from zero to political spectacle in seconds.
A barrel-chested Baron with a voice like rolling thunder leaned over, peering at him with wide, reverent eyes.
"By the gods… Four white-haired mortals in one lifetime. I thought I'd seen the last of such omens when old Lord Gairos passed!"
Another noble, a wiry Viscount with a wine glass that had somehow not left his hand even in the birthing chamber, chuckled.
"Hah! And to think the Kingdom of Fontaine was puffing their chest out over that white-haired prince of theirs. Now look—another born right here in the Eisenhart Duchy!"
He raised his glass toward the baby like a toast.
"Let them brag all they want, but this one's ours."
A round of applause followed.
The baby lifted a brow.
『They're praising me like I'm some kind of invisible emperor, the baby thought, half-horrified. Seriously, what is wrong with them and white hair? Is this the local currency or something!? (╥﹏╥)』
The nobles circled closer, muttering theories, predictions, omens—some even swearing they'd seen divine auras around the child.
Then came a voice that silenced the room.
"HAHA! How silly of me! I haven't even given my wonderful son a name yet!"
It was Duke Arcturus.
He looked over his son with pride swelling in his voice.
"What about… Ferros? As in, iron. For he shall have a will that never bends!"
A few of the nobles politely coughed into their gloves.
Others outright frowned.
"Too common!"
One Count said, adjusting his monocle with a frown.
"Sounds like a blacksmith's apprentice!"
"RIGHT—?!"
Duke Arcturus raised an eyebrow, but before he could press the issue, a soft, tired voice sounded.
Lady Mirella—still pale from childbirth, but radiant in her quiet dignity—stepped forward. Her long chestnut hair was damp with sweat while her pretty face was gentle but firm.
She looked at her son, then at her husband.
"What about… Lucien? The light of our family."
The nobles quieted.
Duke Arcturus stared at her for a moment, then threw his head back and laughed in delight.
"Lucien!"
He declared proudly.
"His name shall be Lucien Albrecht von Eisenhart!"
The chamber erupted into a storm of applause.
The baby — now named Lucien — blinked in rapid confusion as he was once again hoisted into the air.
『Okay wait. Hold up. Lucien? That's me now, right? Albrecht? That sounds… vaguely German. Eisenhart too—oh, this family is definitely loaded. Wait. Von? They put a VON in my name?! Oh no. I'm a super noble now. Shit, I can already feel the political backstabbing.』
His tiny baby hands curled into fists as he was paraded around like a divine relic.
One noble lady knelt, tears in her eyes—
"Such pure hair… such unblemished features… The Gods must have truly smiled upon the Duchy."
The baby just frowned.
『Lady, I was making spaghetti thirty seconds ago. Stop crying for fuck's sake!』
If he could scream, he would.
A man stepped forward with trembling hands.
He was dressed in a stiff ceremonial military garb.
Margrave Aldric von Thornfeld.
"Your Grace…"
He said, bowing to Duke Arcturus.
"If I may… I would like to propose the young Lord be blessed by the High Temple of Lumina. This child may be the prophesied one…!"
Lucien almost choked on his own spit.
『H-, Hold on, prophesied one?! Whoa there, buddy, I just got here. I haven't even pooped yet!』
But the Duke simply laughed with great mirth as his thick gray beard bounced with each chortle.
"Let the temples fight over his blessings, hahaha! My son shall be raised by the sword and by the scroll. He will become a legend!"
Lucien sighed deeply in his infant mind.
『Oh god. This is gonna be one of those 'train from age three and get five tutors a day' situations, isn't it? I won't get a love life even here… I'm so cooked (＞﹏＜)』
Suddenly, another wave of nobles surged forward.
This time, it was all noble daughters.
Elegant girls in frilly dresses, jeweled hairpins, and pretty smiles practically stormed the chamber like a sugar-coated cavalry. Their silk gloves squeaked as they leaned in and surrounded the crib like hawks circling a particularly cute mouse.
"Kyaaa~! He's adorable! ❤️"
"He's like a little porcelain doll!"
"Look at those cheeks—!!"
And then came the poking.
Tiny Lucien was suddenly the unwilling victim of a thousand finger taps.
His chubby cheeks squished from every direction.
『Okay. Alright. This is a lot of girls.』
He groaned internally.
『And I'm a literal baby. Do I file this under "early success" or "harassment"…?』
A redhead with wild curls and emerald eyes, pressed her lips against his forehead with a loud mwah!
"HA! He's mine. First kiss means first wife rights!"
Another, a silver-haired girl in an embroidered mint gown, scoffed.
"As if that counts. Everyone knows babies don't remember that kind of thing!"
"Then I'll just keep kissing him until he does!"
The redhead fired back, pecking Lucien's cheek again with an obnoxious smack!
"H-, Hey! Stop hogging him, you ginger fox!"
"Don't call her that, she's nobility too!"
"Ugh, just because your house owns vineyards doesn't mean you get to ferment everything with your lips!"
The argument quickly devolved into a flurry of noble insults and petty shoulder bumps, complete with scowls and sideways glances sharp enough to slice through diamond.
Meanwhile, Lucien just lay there with a glazed look in his newborn eyes.
『… I mean, I was just crushed to death by a goblet. So this? This is a pretty decent upgrade. Getting fought over by noble girls at age zero? Hell yeah. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧』
He even managed a tiny smirk.
"Hah!! Did you see that?!"
The silver-haired girl gasped.
"He smiled at me!"
"No, that was for me!"
"You're all wrong!"
"You uncouth slobs! He's clearly smiling because I have the prettiest dress!"
The baby uttered a proud heh!
『That would be incorrect. I'm smiling because I'm hot shit, apparently. (◡‿◡)』
Then—
"ENOUGH!"
A small but firm voice rang out like a bell across the marble chamber. The crowd parted instantly, all eyes turning to the angry little girl stomping toward them.
Amelia von Eisenhart, third daughter of the Duke, and proud older sister of exactly five minutes.
Her long black hair swayed behind her as her little fists trembled at her sides. She marched straight up to the crowd of noble girls and pointed at them like a prosecutor in court.
"You all better BACK OFF!"
She declared, puffing out her tiny chest.
"No one gets to marry Lucien!"
The other girls blinked, confused.
"Why not?"
"He's not your boyfriend, Amelia!"
"He's barely even your brother yet, he's a baby!"
Amelia growled and planted her feet.
"He's MY baby brother! And I love him more than any of you cheek-squishing marriage-maniacs!"
Lucien blinked up at her, surprised.
She looked furious—teary-eyed even.
She turned to him and gently poked his nose with a pout.
"Don't listen to them, Lulu. You're too cute for their schemes. You belong to me!"
The baby lifted an eyebrow.
『W-, Wait, Lulu?! That's not my name—wait no, actually… that's kinda adorable.』
The nobles laughed at her fierceness.
Duke Arcturus threw his head back in amusement and rested a big, meaty hand on Amelia's head.
"Ahahaha! Well said, my little lioness!"
He then turned to the group of bickering noble girls with a booming grin.
"Now, now! You'll all get a fair chance when Lucien becomes a great man worthy of choosing a wife. Perhaps a warrior princess? A wise scholar? Who knows!"
The girls all squealed.
"Kyaa~!"
"I'll wait for you, Lucien!!"
"Don't forget my name!"
"I'll become the best mage in the continent for you!"
Lucien could only stare blankly at the chandelier above him.
『I'm going to die of embarrassment before I even learn how to crawl. Still… this world isn't so bad.』
He smiled again—just a little.
Lady Mirella smiled at her husband.
"Arcturus, he is not a weapon. He is our son. Can you let him breathe for today."
The Duke chuckled and lowered Lucien into her arms with great care.
"Of course, my love. But can you blame me? Look at him. He's already captured the hearts of half the court."
Lady Mirella looked down at Lucien. Their eyes met.
『Oh wow… she's beautiful. She smells like lavender and… home?』
Her hands were warm.
"Lucien… do not let their expectations trap you. Be whoever you wish to be."
She whispered softly
She leaned down and kissed his snowy forehead.
"But promise me one thing… Live."
The baby lifted a brow.
『Woman… you're talking to a baby…』
Before Lucien could reflect further, his tiny body was yanked from the peace of her arms as a loud cheer exploded below.
Apparently, word had spread fast.
Fireworks cracked across the estate skies.
Giant banners were being raised.
A full parade had spontaneously formed.
Duke Arcturus puffed out his chest and turned to the crowd with both arms raised.
"The sixth child of Eisenhart is born! Let the festival begin! No expense shall be spared!"
Dangling awkwardly from a maid's arms now, Lucien just internally screamed.
『This was not the reincarnation I signed up for. I wanted a peaceful farm life or at most a minor magical academy with a perverted old wizard. Now I'm a white-haired noble baby with high expectations, ancient bloodlines, and apparently prophetic significance—?!』
Somewhere in the clouds far above, Lutelia giggled as she peeked through a floating mirror.
"Fufufu~ He's adjusting nicely! I knew he'd like it! So dramatic already, I love it! ♡"
Behind her, another goddess frowned—
"You killed the guy with your wine goblet, and now you're stalking him like a proud mama bear. You're unbelievable."
Lutelia stuck her tongue out.
"Shush already~ don't ruin the moment. He's ALL mine now. Well, sort of."
She winked.
Back in the mortal realm, Lucien let out a soft baby yawn as he was utterly drained by the events of his birth-day.
『Well… this is going to be a wild ride. But maybe… just maybe… I'll make it work. First things first though…』
He stared up at the busty maid cradling him.
『Can someone PLEASE feed me already?! I'm starving out here! (╥﹏╥)』