Shizuku opened her eyes and immediately regretted it.
She was lying on something soft. Really soft. Like… marshmallow-cloud soft. Her first confused thought was that she'd been kidnapped by a giant plush toy. Her second was that maybe she hadn't died. Maybe she'd just eaten something weird and passed out during a sugar crash. That last Pocky had tasted a little stale... but stale enough to hallucinate floating jellyfish?
The sky above her looked like a unicorn had thrown up on it—pastel swirls, floating pink islands, glowing waterfalls that poured upwards, and several… were those jellyfish? Floating jellyfish the size of SUVs gently bobbed through the air like it was no big deal.
The whole place smelled like vanilla, cotton candy, and something suspiciously lemony. Her nose wrinkled.
She sat up slowly and blinked. Then blinked again.
"Okay. I died. And this is what heaven looks like," she muttered. "A Lisa Frank folder on acid."
She glanced down at herself. Still wearing the hoodie, though it was suspiciously clean now. No blood. No bullet hole. Not even a wrinkle. Her hair had somehow undone itself and was flowing freely, like a magical girl transformation halfway finished.
Great. Was she sparkly now too?
She held out a lock of hair and squinted. Was that glitter?
Oh, no. Not glitter. Anything but glitter. That stuff never came out—even in the afterlife.
Before she could start investigating her level of sparkle contamination, a blinding light appeared in the sky and descended with dramatic harp music and sparkles. Like, actual sparkles. They rained down in little glowing flecks.
Then came the stairs.
Glowing white steps formed out of thin air, spiraling downward. And down them came—
"Oh, come on," Shizuku groaned.
It was a woman—tall, elegant, radiant. She had long, flowing sapphire-blue hair that shimmered like moonlight on the ocean, golden eyes that glowed like twin suns, and massive, majestic white wings that extended behind her like the cover of an angel-themed visual novel. She was stunning. Ethereal. Breathtaking.
And then she tripped on the third step and fell flat on her face.
Shizuku blinked.
"…Yep. Still dead."
The woman groaned from the marshmallow grass. "Owww… That was a dramatic entrance! It was going so well!"
Shizuku raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Tinkerbell?"
The woman jumped up, brushed herself off, and struck a triumphant pose like nothing had happened.
"Ahem! I am Miriel, Goddess of Light, Rebirth, and Slight Spatial Miscalculations! Welcome, brave soul, to the Celestial Realm of Ascension!"
Shizuku stared at her. Then slowly raised a hand. "Hi. I'm Shizuku. I just wanted Pocky, and now I'm in sparkle hell."
Miriel clasped her hands together. "Ah yes! The selfless girl who risked her life to save innocent children! Your soul shone brightly in your final moments!"
Shizuku squinted. "Pretty sure that was just blood loss."
"Modesty! How noble!"
Miriel twirled in a small circle—well, attempted to. Her wings knocked over a nearby cloud tree.
"You've earned a great honor. You shall be reincarnated!"
Shizuku paused. "Reincarnated… into what, exactly? Please tell me it's not a slime."
"Oh no no no," Miriel laughed. "You will be reborn into a wonderful world full of magic, kingdoms, dungeons, noble houses, dragons, sparkling destiny!"
Shizuku's eye twitched. That sounded eerily familiar. It was starting to sound a lot like one of those games she hated. You know, the kind filled with handsome jerks in capes and too many roses.
"And," Miriel added, "as a reward for your heroic act, you may choose one divine gift to carry into your next life!"
Shizuku blinked. "One?"
Miriel nodded. "Just one!"
"Okay." Shizuku folded her arms, face deadpan. "I want mastery over all five elemental magics: fire, water, wind, earth, and lightning. Full control. God-tier magic."
Miriel gasped, wings fluttering. "Oh my stars! No! That's far too much! You can only choose one element!"
"What?! That's not fair!" Shizuku pointed accusingly. "You said one gift! It's one skill! It's just… five mini-skills in one!"
"Rules are rules!" Miriel pouted. "One element!"
Shizuku groaned. "Fine. Give me fire. At least I can barbeque a few idiots if it comes to that."
"Wonderful choice!" Miriel clapped her hands, which triggered a rain of glitter from absolutely nowhere.
"Of course," Shizuku muttered, brushing it off her hoodie. It stuck to her sleeves like cursed fairy dandruff.
"And now," the goddess continued, pulling out a wand that looked like it came from a discount fairy tale set, "I shall grant your wish and send you on your way!"
She waved the wand in elaborate loops, muttering in a musical, sing-song voice:
"By flame and fate and sparkly skies, let reincarnation now arise!"
A swirling portal opened up. It was golden, glowing, and ominously humming like it hadn't been debugged in a few centuries.
Shizuku took a step back. "Uh. That thing doesn't look stable."
"Oh, nonsense," Miriel said, giving it a firm thwack with her wand. It sizzled. "Perfectly safe. Happens all the time."
"Define 'perfectly,'" Shizuku muttered.
"Time to begin your new life! May your flames light the world!"
Shizuku was about to argue when the portal sucked her in like a vacuum cleaner having a bad day.
She woke up face-first in mud.
There were no unicorns. No castles. No charming villages.
Just trees. Lots of dark, ominous trees.
And roars. Monster-like roars in the distance.
"Okay," she coughed, spitting out a mouthful of moss. "This does not look like a romantic kingdom of magical adventure. This looks like a Skyrim side quest gone wrong."
Her clothes were different—some kind of old-fashioned tunic-dress thing. Her shoes were made of something that definitely wasn't waterproof.
Also, something was chewing on her sock.
A squirrel. A mutated squirrel with a lizard tail.
She kicked it off with a scream. It hissed and ran into a bush.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
Then came the low growl. From behind her.
She turned around slowly to see a goblin—or something goblin-adjacent—emerging from the trees. Drool dripped from its jagged yellow teeth.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me."
It lunged.
Instinct kicked in. She threw her hands forward and yelled, "BACK OFF!"
A massive ball of fire exploded from her palms, engulfing the creature in a burst of flaming doom. It shrieked once and evaporated.
Shizuku stood there, panting, eyes wide.
"…Okay. So fire magic works."
She looked down at her hands.
"Coolcoolcool. I'm a flamethrower now."
She took a shaky breath and looked around. Her surroundings were… medieval forest-core, with a dash of post-apocalyptic menace. She could hear distant howls, and somewhere nearby, something big let out a wet snort.
And to think, this morning she was planning to level up in Demon Kingslayer X.
Instead, she was now the protagonist of a fantasy isekai against her will.
Meanwhile, back in the Celestial Realm...
Miriel sipped her divine tea while humming a happy tune. Then glanced over at the glowing orb that tracked soul placements.
She froze.
"Wait… waitwaitwait…"
She squinted at the orb.
"That's not Romance Royale! That's Realm 837B!"
A beat of silence.
"OH NO. That's the no-magic world full of monsters and suspicious medieval villagers!"
She panicked briefly, fluttered in circles, knocked over her cloud shelf, and screamed into a pillow made of condensed moonlight.
Then she peeked into the scrying mirror.
Shizuku was currently setting another goblin on fire with terrifying ease while screaming something that sounded like:
"DIE, YOU FUN-SIZED ORC!"
Miriel blinked.
"…She's fine."
She turned back to her tea.
"Probably."
To be continued...