The sun dipped low as the Bai sisters arrived home from a long day at the market, the sky mixing in shades of orange and pink. The entered their small home where their father, Bai Jing, immediately greeted them. He sat at the small circle table near the entrance, his face dotted with worry.
He did not look up when the door entered, nor when their footsteps grew nearer. For a moment, he said nothing. It was only after a prolonged silence and a heavy sigh that he deemed himself ready to speak.
"I have some hard news to share," he spoke, his voice low and shaky, "The market just isn't pulling in enough income, we are quickly running out of silver and your mother and the baby... I-I have tried to think of many alternatives, but there is nothing left."
He paused, his eyes glossy, "One of you will go to the palace and become a concubine; it is not easy, but it is the better choice. The other will go to the brothel down the street and be put to work. I am sorry, my daughters, I have failed you.
The room grew silent as the sisters stared at their father. Lihua was unable to speak, his words crashing down on her and pressing down on her.
Meili was the first to react, her face twisting with shock. She looked horrified as her basket fell from her hands to the table, the few coins inside rattling with impact. She knelt in front of her father, tears falling down her face.
"Dad, I can't do it!" Meili cried, her sweet voice tinged with worry, "I won't go to that place. Please do not make me. I could not spend the rest of my days working as a courtesan."
She hesitated before speaking her next words, "It should be Lihua. Lihua should be the one to go there. I could not, I would not bring home any silver."
Bai Jing closed his eyes, uncertainty clear in his face as he spoke his next words, "Meili, if I could spare the both of you from working in such a place I would have done it. The palace, however, only wants one girl from the Bai family, and the other must go to the brothel. I have no choice in the matter."
Meili shook her head frantically, her small body trembling, "No! I won't do it! Lihua has had the better things our entire lives I will not take this! Why do I have to suffer?"
Lihua observed quietly, her face devoid of any emotion as the room emptied of sound. The silence, thick as honey, was only broken by Meili's pitiful sobs.
She watched her sister's tears fall, her face crumbled with disbelief and her eyes puffy. Lihua knew, from the moment her sister started crying, how everything would end. Meili beauty was unrivaled and there was only one thing that trumped that beauty. Her talent for getting her way, especially when she cried. People in the village often spoke of the Bai twins, arguing on who was the most beautiful. At the end of the day it was always Meili, with her small figure and flushed cheeks, that drew the most attention.
Lihua felt a quiet ache settle in her chest. She had always been quieter, subservient to her sister's whims. Even now, with their entire futures at stake, the answer to the dilemma was clear. She looked down for a moment, willing herself to make the choice.
She first looked at her father, who could barely meet her eyes. Then she looked to Meili who was still sobbing, her face buried in her hands.
Finally, she spoke softly, her voice like honey despite the storm that festered inside her, "Do not worry, Father. If Meili will not go, the I will."
The words sliced through the air, sharp and final. Her heart pounded as she forced herself to stand tall. She has always known that one day, their luck would run fair and they would have to make difficult decisions.
Bai Jing's shoulders sagged, relief and sorrow warring in his head.
Meili's tears stained her cheeks. As the reality of Lihua's sacrifice settled in, a light dimmed in her eyes. She straightened, smoothing her haor and wiping her cheeks. Her earlier sorrow replace by a guilty excitement.
"Really? I can go to the palace?" Meili's voice was barely above a whisper, but the excitement clearly grew in her eyes, "If I go, I will wear silk robes and eat from golden plates. I will never go hungry again. Oh! And I will meet the emperor himself!" Although the excitement was clear in her eyes, something within her hurt. She knew what path she had forced Lihua to take, but she also knew she needed to worry about herself.
Their mother, Yang Ruolan, had been listening quietly from the doorway, her face downcast. She stepped forward, her pale and her hands wringing the edge of her apron. She looked first to Meili, then to Lihua, her eyes filled with tears.
"Oh my girls," she said softly, "this is no blessing. The palace will remain a cage, no matter how beautiful. And the brothel..." her voice trailed off and she pressed her lips tightly together until a thin line formed, unable to finish.
Bai Jing nodded in agreement, his own guilt heavy in his eyes. "We have failed you greatly," he said, his voice carrying the weight of a hundred men, "we should have been able to protect you from this world. Lihua, I am sorry, for making you be the strong one.
Lihua stood tall, her face calm but her legs underneath her gown trembling. She looked at her parents, then at her sister. Meili was now humming softly to herself, something she had always done since they were little and she was anxious.
Part of her wanted to be angry at Meili, to shout and scream at her for her selfishness, but all she could feel was a deep, aching sadness. She knew Meili was not a cruel person, she just wanted to survive. Lihua could not pretend Meili had not given things up for her. They had always been thick as thieves, but Meili was smarted. Quicker. This was their future and a choice had to be made.
Ruolan moved to Lihua's side and took her hand, "My brave child," she whispered, "We will find a way to visit you. We will do whatever it is we can do."
Meili looked at her twin, refusing to let even the slightest crack show in her facade. Ruolan stood in front of her next and whispered to her the same way she had to Lihua. Meili hugged her tightly, her face buried in her mother's nape. Ruolan hugged her back, worry evident in her face.
For Bai Jing and Yang Ruolan, there was no joy. They were to lose their beautiful first born daughters. Their hearts grew particularly heavy when the glance at Lihua. It was clear that beauty, in the world she was to head into, was both an esteemed blessing and a horrible curse. They dared not think what would happen next.
As the moon began to rise, Lihua went to sit by the small window next to her small cot. Meili had moved to the next room that had been left to their baby brother. She talked with her mother about the palace, about silk slipper, jeweled hairpins, and jests of stealing the emperor's heart. It was comforting and painful at the same time, how Meili could always remain hopeful regardless of the situation.
For Lihua, the final result felt practically inevitable. She has always know that Meili could not and would not work hard. Even when they were children, Meili would fall to tears if her hands became dirty or if she worked for too long in the sun. Lihua could remember the countless mornings as they walked to the market with Meili complaining at every step. Sometimes, Meili would not go at all with excuses lined up at the door. She felt faint or the dust would ruin her shoes and so it was left to Lihua to carry the baskets and bargain with the vendors and make sure they returned home with enough food and copper for the day.
The Bai sisters were beautiful, there was no denying that. Their skin was like porcelain, their ebony hair long and glossy, and their grey eyes full of life. Meili, however, spent hours in front of their cracked mirror, fussing over her clothes and cleaning herself just so. Even when their family faced the edge of ruin, Meili focused on how she might shine on the palace, on how she might be adored.
Lihua, on the other hand, had remained the practical twin. She knew how to mend clothes and cook rice and rabbit over a fire. She would often soothe their little brother when he cried and helped her mother with the washing. She would sing beautiful songs for a tale or two if it was needed. She was beautiful too, people would always remark and she knew it was something she benefited from, but she knew it was not something she could rely on.
Lihua remained quiet by the window as she often did, tears pricking at her eyes. She tried her hardest to blink them away, but they fell anyways. Hot and silent. She was not angry at Meili or even her parents, not really. She lover her family, even if Meili was spoiled at times. It was more that Lihua had always known this day would come. The day where she would have to acknowledge the fact that her family was poor and a tough decision needed to be made.
She wondered, for a moment, what her life would be like in the brothel. She had heard plenty of stories to be sure. Stories told by older women in the market, stories that made her shiver. It was not so bad in popular brothels which could afford to take care of their girls, but it was much different for the one she was to attend.
As the moon rose further into the sky, Lihua wiped her tears and finally stood. She did not want her parents to see her cry, they had been through enough in their lives and she did not want to be another burden.
Meili was still in the baby's room, her laughter sweet and careless. Lihua listened for a brief moment, then turned away, her heart heavy. This was the way of things. Some girls were meant to be cherished and admired and protected. Others were made to carry the burdens and make sacrifices to make everything okay.
Lihua knew which kind she was from the moment she was old enough to make her first true choice. It did hurt, truly, but she would not turn away from her fate.
Lihua knew which kind she was. And though it hurt, she would not turn away from her fate.